Man! Dude! Session #147

(M)an: Dude! Krystal Ball is, hands down, the best-dressed news broadcaster after Diane Sawyer. She could easily take over national television audiences as a soloist. Krystal Ball never looses dignity and decorum. It’s really hard to manage one’s face from the tendency to distract with uncalled for contort exaggerations.

(D)ude: Man! Whereas you can easily wonder off into the fashions of Diane Sawyer over the years, the same cannot be said of Krystal Ball. Instead, the conservative news media channel back to either the past missteps Ball took at a private costume party, or disapprove of the way she chooses to openly discuss some pertinent issues of today with her young daughter.

M: Dude! People, especially conservatives like Newt Gingrich and Paul Ryan and all those who attend undisclosed locale meetings against President Obama and his Administration, underestimate the intellectual capabilities of youth as young as Krystal Ball’s daughter. Why mustn’t Krystal Ball introduce her school age child to topics like same sex parents and partners?

D: Man! Imagine what sort of bullying Krystal Ball’s daughter could be subjected to if one or more of her classmates were to search engine her mother and find those libertarian images and bring them to her attention. Of course Krystal Ball would want to protect her daughter from such intellectual obstruction.

M: Dude! There are gross double standards in this still rather patriarchal world. When someone with the courage to overcome such obstacles of sexist and anti-feminist sentiments, someone like the heroic Krystal Ball for example, then we as a nation mustn’t hold scorn for our beloved sisters and daughters gifted with the grace and epic responsibility to remain rigidly wholesome like in those Norman Rockwell paintings.

D: Man! How would Norman Rockwell make of Anthony Weiner and Mark Sanford?

M: Dude! I would worship Norman Rockwell as a personal spiritual guru of sorts if he had lived and painted the sexual imprudence of Weiner and Sanford.

D: Man! Maybe a Thanksgiving moment like Sanford’s ex-wife sharing potatoes and cornbread with his now-mistress whom he met on the Appalachian Trail expeditions that have become just as noteworthy as George W. Bush’s disrespectfully releasing gas in public for entertainment purposes.

M: Dude! We may not be fathers, but remember when the Romney and Ryan children started a tantrum over playing with the red and white balloons on stage at the Republican National Convention?

D: Man! Yeah?

M: Dude! Imagine a world where your fathers are Romney and Ryan and, despite all the pomp and circumstance that comes with being the selected candidates from your party, your children and grandchildren are displaying characteristics of dunces who have never had their childhood shenanigans addressed properly.

D: Man! The Romney and Ryan RNC was a study indeed! How can you expect your children to not 

become troublemakers with such double standards and all-out racism? Reince Priebus and Rand Paul and Chris Christie and John Boehner at the RNC 2012 personally embarrassed and scared me with their bawdy and brutal performances… Like the late Michael Hutchence from INXS famously sang, it’s hard to believe we need a place called hell!

M: Dude! The GOP can only think of the Dreamers and their families as hassles or domestic workers. It is so crude how John McCain always manages to think that these American populations are needed for his family’s household errands like childcare and household chores. My mother had help, but it wasn’t until I graduated middle school that I realized Aunt Viola was actually not a relative and that Mom paid her to come and do housework. As far as I can remember, I always saw the two women drinking coffee and chatting up a storm in their downtime.

D: Man! Aunt Viola? She reminds me of my father’s secretarial staff. Lola and Stefan were awesome. They actually filled out applications for me at the last minute when my own computer and typewriter malfunctioned.

M: Dude! Lola and Stefan are listed in your address book even today! We just had lunch about four months back with them and their families!

D: Man! How would Norman Rockwell portray Anthony Weiner on the cover of the Saturday Evening Post?

M: Dude! There were Republicans and perverts then too! They were just not pictured on the covers of magazines like today. In fact, I think I have only seen Anthony Weiner’s indiscretions on those cheap gazettes that you can get at the grocery store while waiting in line for the next clerk.

D: Man! Krystal Ball deserves her own hour show. She is unafraid to identify herself as a feminist and I think that is awesome in midst of some of these Fortune 500 company female execs that say otherwise.

M: Dude! If you are a millennium woman exec, you must think on behalf of all women and girls. Just because you are an exec enjoying the privileges of being able to build a nursery for your baby at work and then go home earlier than most to enjoy some time with your school age children right before retiring to work in your specially designated home office space, you cannot forget those of your gender who are struggling in the middle and working classes, if not completely disenfranchised and hanging onto the system of government assistance that Paul Ryan and the GOP are meddling with and trying to erase.

D: Man! The United States Stock Market is reaching unbelievable heights never charted before President Obama’s reinstating the economy and the automobile industry and so on and so forth with his awesome and diverse team of administrators.

M: Dude! Do you think we could assign Paul Ryan and the Republican Majority to Mars in 2022? They can create their own fantasy government against the people and for themselves up where the air is redder than kabuki makeup and hotter than lava.

D: Man! There were over 78,000 applications for that anticipated trip to Mars. And the great thing is, Paul Ryan and the Republican Majority cannot return to Earth because of the obvious physiological changes that will be taking place on the Red Planet.

M: Dude! The 112^th and 113^th Congresses need to be sentenced to life on Mars for their considerable inaction. And George W. Bush needs to go up there as well with Cheney-Rice-Rumsfeld and experiment with his bawdy bodily humor.

Man! Dude! Session #146

(D)ude: Man! Mike Chickadee is seriously advertising the Republican agenda to impeach President Obama and the mostly-leaning-bright-red-right press is adamantly abstaining from the fact that the GOP leadership refuses to read the 29 recommendations set forth by the State Department’s Accountability Review Board.

(M)an: Dude! Mike Huckabee is probably the Republican you’re referring to as advertising the demise of President Obama. But, you’re absolutely right on the mark about the ARB’s recommendations failing to be read by Californian Republican Chairman of the United States House Committee on Oversight and Government Reform Darrell Issa et al.

D: Man! The GOP must remember my millennium rendition of the George Santayana quote that appears in the ARB’s unclassified recommendation document available online at www dot state dot gov backslash arbreport backslash… Those who cannot read the past are going to repeat it.

M: Dude! The Republican Party is so steadfast against coherence and solidarity. It’s like the GOP disorder, which passed the Deficit Reduction Act of 2005, is returning due to the Republican Party’s confidence in their gerrymandered districts. Remember?

D: Man! The Deficit Reduction Act of 2005 had two different versions, one constructed to pass the House and the other construed to pass the United  States Senate.

M: Dude! Eric Boehlert, American writer of the 2006 classic Lapdogs: How The Press Rolled Over For Bush, said it perfectly when he commented that Chairman Darrell Issa was involving uselessly the time of congressmen and congresswomen in an Op-Ed soap opera rather than a legitimate hearing about the ARB’s recommendations.

D: Man! The George W.-Cheney-Rice-Rumsfeld White House neglected the press entirely so much so that Jake Tapper couldn’t manage a whisper, let alone question George W. and his associates about their whereabouts during their eight-year reign.

M: Dude! Where have you been?

D: Man! You sounded exactly like Wolf Blitzer crossed with one of the women of Murdoch’s Faux News Channel.

M: Dude! Is my skirt hiked up appropriately enough? When is my next media appointment with GQ and Maxim Magazines?

D: Man! How am I supposed to respond to such nonsense? But that’s an important point: Why is there still a need to reform any anchorwomen from condescending themselves?

M: Dude! Did you notice Diane Sawyer’s latest ensemble at the George W. Presidential Library?

D: Man! I loved the navy ensemble with the white sash! I cannot believe no one noticed to report on the designer. But, then again, Diane Sawyer brings out the best in her wardrobe selections, the clothes never make the soul that is Diane Sawyer.

M: Dude! My nieces were asking me about my taste in fashion and I had to reintroduce them to the fundamentals like Cecil Beaton’s royal portraitures, but I must say I was taken by Marina of Greece’s official portrait in Grecian splendor, very conservative in the same way as Diane Sawyer’s matching her shoes and stockings to the exact navy in her dress with that unforgettable sash!

D: Man! President Obama’s leadership has brought much needed changes that are delineated simply in the VA’s 2013 Veteran’s Benefits Handbook. However, I wonder about the online new enrollment application for VA health benefits: If the American voters want continuation of empowerment of workforce commissions like the one in Texas right now, then they must vote for democratic principles that get corroded by the likes of the current Republican GOP self-described wonks like Paul Ryan and Jim DeMint.

M: Dude! They do study excessively without any perspicacity whatsoever!

D: Man! Paul Poindexter Ryan and Jim Dweeb DeMint need to align their bugle budget proposal Path To Posterity and conservative political playground Heritage Foundation trumpeting the demise of the American Economy without sufficient and immediate actions against Dreamers and African Americans and Non-Whites, while embracing austerity and reprioritizing sequester savings.

M: Dude! In Appendix II of the Paul Ryan Follies, it states clearly that there was a FY2013 Budget set forth by President Obama. Yet, elsewhere in that same document, Paul Poindexter Ryan insists there are no alternatives being proposed to the austerity absurdities that fall apart upon closer examination.

D: Man! The austerity absurdities fall apart because, like the Heritage Foundation’s blatant racism and eugenicist blathering, those Paul Ryan Follies are recapitulated by sources just as foggy and laced with the same sort of shady characters as the Harvard PhD Jason Richwine, like Darrell Issa and Charles Krauthammer.

M: Dude! Issa actually denounced federal funding post 9/11/01 to volunteers who came from all over the United States to New York City! Charles Krauthammer has similar tan issues and lines as John Boehner. And Netanyahu has hosted Marco Rubio, Rand Paul, and Mitt Romney with far more zest than President Obama. Yes, Rubio and Rand were not openly received with embraces, but I believe they were just as instrumental in underhandedly creating some kind of matrix of hate and lies that Israel cannot afford.

D: Man! But Sheldon Adelson can afford all types of trouble on his own! That’s what happens when rednecks come into money and the included power!

M: Dude! I don’t think the students of Buena Vista Township, Michigan public schools are going to be given the opportunity to complete their coursework before summer vacation! Yikes!

D: Man! This reminds me of the times of George Wallace in Alabama confronted by federal marshals in 1963. Gosh! The GOP wants US to revert back to the days of only fifty years ago? That’s a sacrilege that I will not allow! Never again!

M: Dude! Representative Elijah Cummings is Ranking Member on the Oversight and Government Reform Committee that Darrell Issa chairs in the House. The two actually came together in defense of investigating the circumstances surrounding Aaron Swartz’s suicide. But, I think, local prosecutors and federal prosecutors lacked crucial coordination capabilities that, if in place, would have spared Aaron from the anxieties that culminated in fatality.

Man! Dude! Session #145

(M)an: Dude! They have mugs at the George W. Bush Library on the SMU campus.

(D)ude: Man! They have mug shots of George W. Bush in his presidential library at SMU?

M: Dude! I’m not sure… I don’t know. With all the deliberate miscalculating on W.-Cheney-Rice-Rumsfeld’s end, Lipton Tea is far more representative of the humanity that the John Boehner House and Mitch McConnell Senate Republicans absolutely disavow.

D: Man! I did not know about bystander apathy existing in the United States Congress! Yes, I know how the term applies to police cases that are left cold because of placing the blame for the circumstances of the crime onto the victim of whatever horrors are inflicted onto him or her.

M: Dude! Just listen to the list of services that are provided by Lipton Tea to the tea harvesting families: conserving water, protecting wildlife habitat, planting trees and ensuring healthy soils; increasing access to housing, medical aid and education for the tea growing families; providing safe working conditions and decent wages.

D: Man! Hush! Paul Ryan may exit out of one of his P90X workout sessions at any moment to harass US with his blow-ups of bogus charts and graphs and, of course, the Paul Ryan Budget Plan that Mister Rogers would even reject on the grounds that Mister McFeely’s travels back and forth from the Real Neighborhood to Make-Believe may be forfeited all in the name of balancing pretend budget crises.

M: Dude! Don’t forget Officer Clemmons and his eventual leadership of the Harlem Spiritual Ensemble!

D: Man! Wasn’t H.J. Elephant III’s friendship with Prince Tuesday too uppity? Why couldn’t H.J. and Prince Tuesday embrace diversity in Make-Believe like Mister Rogers did in the Real Neighborhood? I would be impressed to see Henrietta Pussycat meowing away with those two! Maybe the actual world is Make Believe and the Real Neighborhood a distant tomorrow?

M: Dude! Did you watch the erroneous news story on ABC World News suggesting that those who can choose are choosing to relocate back to Mexico? Isn’t that convenient in the wake of immigration reform?

D: Man! The relocated population that ABC News covered was one woman in the midst of a ghost town of homes that looked uninhabited. Reminded me of the residential buildings in China that aren’t even utilized by the tenants who bought them pre-construction.

M: Dude! Zhang Xin’s designs are phenomenal. However, the people living in poverty are being displaced from their makeshift brick edifices. Reminds me of the way the Republican Sequestration has suspended social services in the United States and suffocated the disenfranchised.

D: Man! Do you think John Boehner and Mitch McConnell would support returning money to cancer centers and research and development only if one or both of them personally suffered the harshness of such a diagnosis? Chemotherapy is hellish, but to have to endure without continuation of treatment is murderous!

M: Dude! That Cleveland, Ohio case of the missing persons who were found in that house in a rickety neighborhood just within miles of the captives’ homes reminded me of my own experiences with social services, specifically Child Protective Services. My friend Louisa Allegory had tattoos and medical diagnoses that would make Rush Limbaugh and Bill O’Reilly come undone. Also, Louisa’s lack of sophisticated communication skills made her an easy target for judgment by authorities.

D: Man! Louisa Allegory and I went to the same junior high school! She needed CPS? Wow! I never imagined her as anybody but a professional. Too bad the teachers never saw past the nose ring and the specially dyed hair, which, by the way, were always styled and, I thought then and still think so, cleaner than the curling-iron-and-perm-damaged hair the other girls maintained.

M: Dude! I don’t understand why victim representatives and counselors many times look the other way on their vulnerable clients. Louisa Allegory became pregnant in the tenth grade and carried the baby to term and then struggled at the local retail stores to find work to support her parents who took care of her daughter while Louisa attended specially designed classes for pregnant teen mothers downtown.

D: Man! And? What happened after that?

M: Dude! Her boyfriend and his mother fought for custody and won. The judge in the case was a female and Louisa Allegory thought the time for justice would be delivered with the meticulous notes she kept of having found the baby’s breath questionably fruity. Turned out, the boyfriend and his mother gave the baby cough syrup and an antihistamine to keep her asleep.

D: Man! I wonder how many teen mothers don’t get respect from even females in the criminal justice system?

M: Dude! I typed the notes and prepped Louisa Allegory on how to dress down in tone while keeping evenness despite whatever was said and done in court. We covered her tattoos and a friend of hers did her hair and makeup while another teen mom in Louisa’s downtown group found the perfect dress pants and blouse for her to present herself in court.

D: Man! People look at struggling and poverty-stricken neighborhoods as not note-worthy, as if they are an untouchable class of misfits who the Republican Party gravitate against as the 47 percent folks who have no privileges as the top 2 percent of earners deserve.

M: Dude! I knew a social services worker who tore up cards she received from clients without ever once having fully read whatever was written inside. She insisted that her clients were good-for-nothings privately- even to the students she supervised!

D: Man! Elizabeth Colbert Busch’s defeat in  South Carolina yesterday made me wonder if she was a businesswoman foremost and a Democrat never. You know, Colbert Busch and her brother Stephen Colbert probably did a “Na-nannie-bo-bo!” stunt.

M: Dude! Mark Sanford’s win was calculated and the miscalculations on the Colbert Busch side were deliberate.

D: Man! If Mark Sanford can win in South Carolina with the underground support of his opposition, then how can we ever expect to clean up the gerrymandering? The gerrymandered districts are going to fight bitterly that they remain in good standing, despite the obvious moonlighting. The GOP and the NRA are protecting criminals, the definition of the word criminals being illicit and licit.

M: Dude! Blaming the victim of a horrendous criminal act like in the sexual assault cases of the United States Military is basically making all victims vulnerable. To support victims and their voices emerging from within the ranks of the United States Military, like Senator Claire McCaskill of Montana is demanding, will be groundbreaking for society altogether. That, and the fact that every member of society mustn’t cloud their humanity with judgment, ill will toward none, as Lincoln recited. 

Man! Dude! Session #144

(D)ude: Man! Guess which book this quote came from-

(M)an: Dude! Guesswork’s never been my forte. I always promptly give thorough answers to my rhetorical questions.

D: Man! You give answers to all rhetorical questions!

M: Dude! Go on, let me hear the passage from whatever book you would like to share.

D: Man! Here I go. Eh-hem. I can’t agree. When you’re over there, in it, you don’t think there’s anything else in life. You can’t believe that somewhere people are sleeping in comfortable beds or sitting in a restaurant like this. It’s different in Europe. Everywhere you walk you see a bombed-out building- you live with the constant reminder. But when I came back here all of the death and bloodshed seemed so remote. It seemed that it couldn’t have actually happened- that it was some hellish nightmare. There was New York, the Paramount Building was still standing, its clock running just as it always had. The pavements had the same cracks, the same pigeons or their relatives were messing up the Plaza, the same lines were standing outside of the Copa, waiting to see the same stars. Last night I was out with a beautiful creature who spent hours telling me about the hardships she had endured during the war. No nylons, plastic lipstick containers, no bobby pins… it was awful. I think the shortage of nylons affected her the most. She was a model, and her legs were important to her. She said she was terribly glad we had finally discovered the atom bomb- she had been down to her last six pair when it hit.

M: Dude! I don’t know. I’m not sure. But it is a tragic reminder of how circumstances have changed for the worse because of the cheating tactics of the American Republican Party in 2000 and 2004. Is there any place on earth that has not suffered irreparable damage because of the Bush family’s disgustingly dynastic reigning via GOP thugs?

D: Man! I read that passage from the phenomenally successful and very original novel by Jacqueline Susann… Valley of the Dolls, circa 1966, but the events in the text itself covering the period of time from September 1945 to New Year’s Eve 1965. 

M: Dude! That reminds me of Mary Blume’s biography The Master of Us All: Balenciaga, His Workrooms, His World… Did you know that right before World War II, the 1937 World’s Fair was held in Paris as a response against the fascist sentiments that were seeping onto the scene?

D: Man! The 1937 World’s Fair was a financial disappointment!

M: Dude! Yeah! But, get this, the fashion media was mum on the topic of politics. Like France in World War II, magazines like Harper’s Bazaar kept a very limited political scope and made very distinct tastes in fashion that were like harbingers of what was to ensue in France with the Nazi Occupation, which was limited because of the presence of trained French police officers who took on the role that German troops played elsewhere.

D: Man! What kind of fashion did Harper’s Bazaar consider distasteful?

M: Dude! Lederhosen and dirndls were targeted as questionable by Harper’s Bazaar after the invasion of Austria by the Nazi Germans, and antifascist Schiaparelli and anxious Balenciaga made a dash towards something different and defiant and intelligent.

D: Man! Like how Francis Ford Coppola has taken on F. Scott Fitzgerald’s The Great Gatsby? In the wake of such horrific events like the Boston Marathon bombs and Newtown, Connecticut massacre, while the Republican Party continues to dance indecently alongside the ribald NRA.

M: Dude! Mary Blume’s really hits a present-day nerve when she reveals how –and from New York, Vogue’s editor, Edna Woolman Chase, cabled Bettina Ballard, “Send story on what smart women are wearing in air raid shelters.” Piguet was making jersey jumpsuits, Hermes offered leather gas mask covers as well as cashmere sleeping bags, Schiaparelli built muffs into the pockets of her dresses for standing in icy queues, and the best bomb shelter was at the Ritz with its fur-lined blankets. In the couturiers’ salons the collections went on as usual-

D: Man! All this fashion and pomp was happening while- what about the people who were sentenced to the concentration camps? Why wasn’t anyone revealing the horrors of the trains and ghettos that the Jewish people were being subjected to?

M: Dude! There were righteous gentiles, of course, but the calamity of the World War II era was when the United States and its Allies figured that there was no stopping the Germans and their political and economic agendas, only then did the United States and its Allies take the necessary steps to end what Hitler had begun and Churchill actually applauded at the beginning in an Anti-Semitic sentiment that was prevalent throughout the Western Hemisphere.

D: Man! The United States electorate had better open its eyes to the injustices that President Obama is heroically putting up with: The Republican Sequestration that the GOP hopes will lead to a paralyzed people who will be so hopelessly wasted socioeconomically that they won’t care about just what’s happening abroad, but will become indifferent with their own neighbors. I think the propaganda that the GOP wants to implement is going to be calculated as such that immigration reform is only a topic with which the Republican Party hopes to secure its seats in the House and Senate in the midterms.

M: Dude! Jordan and Iraq deserve to be given a hand in their efforts to supply shelter and other necessities to the women and children refugees coming into their borders from war-ravaged Syria. And I agree, how is a parent who is unemployed and now without Head Start for their child even begin to think about the disenfranchised abroad?

D: Man! And how can people struggling with cancer diagnoses and treatments be made to consider the welfare of others when their lives are on the line because of the Republican Sequestration and GOP Obstructionism?

M: Dude! President Obama needs people like Elizabeth Colbert Busch to defeat Republican candidates like Mark Sanford in South Carolina and beyond! It really surprises me how everybody talks about the Appalachian Trail and forgets that the United States itself has an Appalachian population of Kentuckians living in the bleakest circumstances imaginable.

D: Man! Like US, I don’t think Kentuckians voted for Senators Mitch McConnell and Rand Paul, but got stuck with the both of them like Texans are putting up with Senators John Cornyn and Ted Cruz.

M: Dude! Reading is fundamental, but I don’t think the message is advertised anymore with the deliberate lunacy of folks like Ted Cruz. Even Mary Blume’s assessment in her 2013 Balenciaga masterpiece sums up the dire straits that President Obama is protecting the country from, this deliberate lunacy: The good part was that the French didn’t even have to become German. Under the new regime, the collaboration government, with headquarters in the spa town of Vichy, was French-run and the French police were put in charge of all crime, including political crime. As Robert O. Paxton, the finest historian of Vichy France, wrote, “The logic of the armistice poison thus drew Vichy into trying to do the Germans’ dirty work for them.” Sometimes the work was dirtier than even the Germans demanded: sending Jewish children to their deaths was a French initiative.

D: Man! Mary Blume’s courage and timing is immaculate! Vive Mademoiselle!

Man! Dude! Session #143

(M)an: Dude! Nobody better evangelize to me about the disciples of Jesus Christ. I read the Book Of Matthew myself and was fairly struck by the drowsiness of Peter, John, and James despite being told over and over again to remain awake as Jesus Christ visited and prayed in temples his simple yet dynamic prayers.

(D)ude: Man! Tell me this much: How did the personalities in the Bible manage to live hundreds of years of actual time? I was so confused once, I actually went to a corner bookstore to find a Children’s Version of the Holy Book!  

M: Dude! Did you find a definitive answer?

D: Man! No! I just found definitive questions! I was truly amazed and disappointed, even more so than when my parents found out I wrote the multiplication tables on my arms before I ventured onto the school bus in the second and third grades.

M: Dude! How far did you manage to successfully pull off the cheating?

D: Man! Do you know how my parents exist on separate spheres of existence?

M: Dude! Yeah? Your mother has her priorities and your father has his, of course.

D: Man! I was doing just fine until the day in third grade when both my parents happened to be present and available to listen to me recite the multiplication tables. I was in a tough spot intellectually. You see, with just my mother present, I was able to pull off a lot of theatrics while keeping my back to her. But with my father present as well, I couldn’t do my one-act backside play techniques.

M: Dude! Your parents probably lectured you until you cried out in shame, am I right?

D: Man! Yeah! They made me feel like an intellectual equal, very grown up and mature, before frowning upon my cheating tactics. If I hadn’t been subjected to that much pomp, I probably would have landed in an illustrious acting career. Have you noticed the ubiquity with which Alan Cumming’s psychotic rendition of Shakespeare’s Macbeth is being advertised on the Internet?

M: Dude! It’s all over the place. As of today, there are only 60 performances left.

D: Man! The Republican Party in the United States is uncomfortably quiet. They remind me of the way in which Judas betrayed Jesus for the amount of 30 silver coins. And, I think this is also in the Book of Matthew, the treasury then had a hard time accepting the retrieval of those coins after Judas committed suicide via hanging.

M: Dude! What is your take on the ages of the personalities in the Holy Books?

D: Man! I think oral tradition entailed simultaneous existence of multiple prophetic personalities. I think when they say that Job lived another one hundred and eighty years that simply implies that it took one hundred and eighty additional years after Job’s sufferings to consolidate The Book Of Job.

M: Dude! That’s very creative! However, I sure do wish these Class of 2010 incoming Tea Party braggarts get booted out of the almost always-vacated floors of the House and Senate. It is incredible how our elected, through unfair gerrymandering, officials manage more time off from their duties as representatives when single mothers and fathers cannot take more than three paid sick days all in the face of the Republican Sequestration. And Texas Governor Rick Perry is adamant about rejecting the Health Care Affordability Care Act by refusing funding from the federal government.

D: Man! The GOP calls itself obstructionist, but I consider it an outrageous racist form of injustice towards the booming minority populations. Obstructionism is ethnocentrism, and there is a severe lack of true representation of the diversifying populations in the House and Senate. There is no government for the people and by the people, only special interests and a Republican Party wanting wars abroad and at home if their belligerent desires in foreign policy do not get addressed by the executive branch.

M: Dude! Ethnocentrism is the crux upon which the Republicans operate abroad. The severe striations of societies abroad are set and branded with the fire of pride and price. Wal-Mart et al did not care to investigate the addition of three more floors in the Bangladeshi garment factory building that collapsed because of the excess weight et cetera. Instead, the blame was placed locally on the local proprietor of the establishment, M. Sohel Rana.

D: Man! Keeping things local is a very Republican ideal, indeed. No wonder the GOP insists on limiting Roe V. Wade statewide! And their insistence over deregulations led to the West, Texas tragedy. Governor Rick Perry is a Republican coconspirator in its wake.

M: Dude! There is an answer to the unfair tactic of gerrymandering. The Office of Management and Budget released Bulletin No. 13-01 entitled Revised Delineations of Metropolitan Statistical Areas, Micropolitan Statistical Areas, and Combined Statistical Areas, and Guidance on Uses of the Delineations of These Areas.

D: Man! What is Dallas-Fort Worth?

M: Dude! DFW is actually Dallas-Fort Worth-Arlington! And we are, of course, considered a Metropolitan Statistical Area, and, keep in mind, these stats were set into motion in 2000 under George W. Bush. Despite that, the Republican Party still insists on random acts of redistricting, with the focus on White Flight rural communities getting just as much oomph as the urban multicultural centers that are returning to some coherence under President Obama.

D: Man! I saw a mother with three small children in traffic the other day. Much to my amazement, there was that now infamous yellow flag with the green snake in the middle insisting “Don’t Tread On Me!” I was dumbstruck that a carpool mom had no sense of what was happening in these United States. Well, then again, I think she believes the kooks like Limbaugh and O’Reilly and Beck and Faux News: That the United States is losing because of President Obama just because the guy’s a progressive and fighting for carpooling moms everywhere, alongside all the other unsung heroes that the Republican Party wants to disenfranchise.

M: Dude! How soon does the Republican Party forget! Remember how Mitt Romney emphasized marriage as the doctrine for women in the United States? And Paul Ryan’s budge still is the ridiculous document of pure missteps and miscalculations.

D: Man! Maybe Paul Ryan ought to apprentice for the Office of Management and Budget! Yeah?

M: Dude! Paul Ryan reeks of sweat from yesterday’s P90X workout! Conan O’Brien captured Paul Ryan’s intellectual vacancy perfectly by paralleling him with the celebrated Mister Bean on BBC.

D: Man! How do you mobilize voters to the polls in the midterms? Huh?

M: Dude! Middle and working classers and, especially, the poor like US, need to know that our votes count and that we need to fight for our rights to government assistance! The lawmakers in the Senate and House need to be replaced with the likes of Wendy Davis, not John Cornyn and Ted Cruz and Kay Granger.

D: Man! Did not Phil Graham vacate his seat for John Cornyn and Kay Bailey Hutchinson vacate hers for Ted Cruz? Tooting about everywhere now that she’s retired about the need for background checks regarding gun control, Kay Bailey Hutchinson is cleaning her switch blade to cut into yet another victory cake for the underground GOP folks like her that perpetuate mayhem and want to be commiserated in retirement.

Man! Dude! Session #142

(D)ude: Man! Diane Kruger carried Tarantino’s film Inglourious Basterds!

(M)an: Dude! Who do you think is going to bring down today’s Republican inglourious basterds?

D: Man! The only force that will throw out the GOP in Washington, DC is the electorate.

M: Dude! I don’t know.

D: Man! I’ve had it with your lack of conviction. I saw the White House Correspondents Association dinners from past years too all day yesterday. So what if President Clinton’s hands are bloodied by the missed opportunities to bring to justice bin Laden as Hank Crumpton’s already detailed last year to Lara Logan for CBS’s 60 Minutes! You’re just upset over the May 1, 1993 Correspondents Dinner featuring comedian Elayne Boosler.

M: Dude! President Clinton knew too much too soon to not be held equally accountable for pocketing the treasures of the Iraq and Afghanistan wars at the expense of the lives of our sons and daughters in uniform.

D: Man! You’re also upset over Hillary Rodham Clinton’s recent speaking engagement to the National Multi Housing Council who list clearly under their section Regulatory Mitigation and Reform: The apartment industry is a highly regulated sector, governed by a flood of regulations from agencies as diverse as the Department of Housing and Urban Development (HUD), the Environmental Protection Agency (EPA), the Department of Energy (DOE) and even the Federal Reserve. While these regulations may be well intentioned, many will lead to costly mandates that divert resources not only from the production and operation of multifamily housing but, ultimately, also from job creation. In fact, according to research commissioned by the Small Business Administration’s Office of Advocacy, the total cost of federal regulations in 2008 topped $1.75 trillion, or $10,585 per employee for firms with fewer than 20 employees...

NMHC/NAA recognize the need for regulations but urge agencies to insist that new rules have demonstrable benefits that justify the cost of compliance. In addition, federal agencies should be aware that broad-stroke regulations often have disproportionate effects on various industries; therefore, those rules and regulations affecting commercial real estate should reflect the industry’s business and operational structure. Finally, all regulations must be grounded in fact and rely on the latest scientific and/or economic evidence.

M: Dude! The National Multi Housing Council actually stated all that in their 2013 Policy and Regulatory Issues paper that can be found under their related contents box on the right when you go to Government Affairs and the subheading 2013 NMHC/NAA Policy Agenda specifically.

D: Man! You’re not disillusioned anymore! Welcome back to reality! I really missed your presence, like Conan O’Brien’s when NBC basically tossed the checkers off the board like a broody brat in middle of a fit of physical and baseless rage.

M: Dude! We’ve never missed Conan’s show on TBS; remember the episode with Charlie Sheen fairly recently? I, like you, believe in remaining true to the game and not getting all caught up in a sourpuss phase like Chuck Lorre did with Charlie Sheen’s very public meltdown. Just read the Chuck Lorre archives from 1 to 413 and you will find the same level of crudity as Faux News’ Ed Henry at the White House Correspondents Dinner last night.

D: Man! Ed Henry’s the pervert from Fox News Channel, right? Thank goodness his term as the Association’s president expires soon. Not only does he bring out the worst in his already juvenile facial features with incessant referencing to the new mothers in the Association who needed room to address the physical and obvious demands of motherhood. In fact, I thought it very necessary for someone to interrupt Ed Henry and soothe his perverse contempt via a pacifier or a bottle.

M: Dude! Ed Henry needed his jabs nursed by Madame Rushie Limbaugh, a very obvious omission from last night’s dinner. Imagine how Rush Limbaugh would have soothed Ed Henry with those doll bottles with the artificial mobile of either milk or orange juice. Very fitting for two dunderheads with baby faces.

D: Man! Hillary Rodham Clinton was in Irving, Texas, just an hour and a half drive away from the tragic recovery efforts of West, a town comprised of the 47% who Mitt Romney and now Hillary Rodham Clinton do not include in on these exclusive speakeasies through which they amass not too shabby paychecks.

M: Dude! The residents of West, Texas deserve a place at these tables where Mitt Romney and Hillary Rodham Clinton conduct their closed-door chats. If they had only listened to the intelligence about their backyard havoc, the people of West, Texas would have proactively taken matters into their own hands and devised creative ways in which to address the stark threat of explosions and subsequent disasters. Government must regulate! Otherwise, the private sector will just continue piling their investments into these chic get-togethers and, just like Wall Street, the top earners in society will soar while the rest of US in the middle and lower classes, not to mention those amongst US who have nothing already, will suffer.

D: Man! Have you noticed how Paul Ryan’s Budget is riddled with lack of peer-reviewed research? That Reinhart and Rogoff paper from Harvard dispelled by UMass Amherst’s Thomas Herndon essentially encapsulates the GOP scheme: Fraud and intentional oversight that imperils the disenfranchised like the rest of US. No wonder Newt Gingrich and John Boehner desire to protect and expand the Heritage Foundation and the National Review!

M: Dude! Hillary Rodham Clinton is trouble for the Democratic Party. We need someone with a moral compass that is just as, if not more, compelling and transparent as President and Mrs. Obama. We need that kind of mettle that is availed by youth, those who haven’t been ensnared by the right or infidelity within.

D: Man! Skirt-chasers are becoming philosophically obsolete in the Democratic Party and the progressive mindset that is forward-oriented needs leaders that are multidimensional clean. The want for accountability is what keeps the GOP where it is today: Like the Clintons and the Bushes, the Republican Party does business underhandedly and in the shadows of democratic idealism, which too is for sale once they enter the White House.

M: Dude! If you want to truly give back to the electorate for having elected and reelected you to the White House, would you not want to build on the Library Of Congress’s continuation and furtherance? But, then again, if you were not transparent about your whereabouts during office, then you would need a presidential mausoleum!

Man! Dude! Session #141

(M)an: Dude! Ben Affleck’s going to be living on a dollar and a half a day beginning soon.

(D)ude: Man! Why?

M: Dude! I think he’s attempting to raise awareness of poverty and hunger on earth.

D: Man! Poverty and hunger on earth?

M: Dude! I’m not sure, but Warren Buffet’s son, who’s a farmer and insists that the food unfit to keep on the shelves of American grocery stores mean a net loss of about a few billion dollars worth, offers creative solutions and strategies. And, get this, it is all a matter of organization and foresight.

D: Man! Talking about billions and loopholes intentionally set in place by the GOP, did you know the George W. Bush Presidential Library ceremony was attended by Presidents Carter, Clinton, and Obama? Yeah, they gathered with the Bush Dynasty’s George H. W. and George W. on the SMU campus, the location of the library, in Dallas, Texas.

M: Dude! George W. Bush’s library is a treasure trove of false claims and blundering plundering at home and abroad. George W. Bush’s library is an overwrought mausoleum of the Bush Dynasty’s cruelties and corruptions.

D: Man! Laura Bush’s provincial referencing to “my George” over and over again was typical of an unsophisticated clodhopper yokel. Of course George W’s going to assist a soldier who lost his limbs because of George W. Cheney-Rice-Rumsfeld’s selfish war-mongering decisions that led to Iraq II and Afghanistan!

M: Dude! Again, George W. Bush’s cruelties and corruptions are entombed in that mausoleum erected on the SMU campus.

D: Man! Barbara Bush sure is an undependable source of insight. In actuality, she is just as false a herald as her son. No wonder W insisted that he had inherited his father’s eyes and his mother’s mouth! Both mother and son have that guileful tendency to vacillate between reason and feigned deficiency.

M: Dude! George W’s efforts in African continental programs of interest is just retribution for the evils he availed in the Middle East. I still believe he and his father deliberately nursed fear and terrorism, just like the current GOP Republicans are, through their refusal to join the campaign against gun violence, protecting illicit trafficking of high capacity firearms and weaponry around the world in vulnerable locales like Central and South America and, as always, at home on our own streets.

D: Man! You think the chemical weapons that Senator McCain is so concerned about in Syria have been placed there by his very own Republican Party’s political action committees? I once heard that stupidity is evil and evil is stupidity. Like a braided bread loaf, the elements of both are so enmeshed in the end that one forgets the initial toil of braiding in order to achieve such texture and flavor. I personally think that the George W. Bush Presidential mausoleum is a means of getting a tax break on all those billions the Bush Dynasty pocketed in the looting of Iraq and Afghanistan.

M: Dude! I think there comes a point in life when you surrender to the whim of tryingly jamming keys into the gates of paradise.

D: Man! That does make sense. There would be no other way to rationalize President Herbert Hoover’s constructing his presidential library after such days of Steinbeck’s Grapes of Wrath and The Winter of Our Discontent otherwise.

M: Dude! A cowboy hat had never been so out of place as atop Dick Cheney’s balding crown. If Cheney even had a strand of capacity for shame, I would say he was hiding embarrassment. He looked like he had just come from visiting Southfork Ranch where the television series Dallas was shot.

D: Man! I think George W. played a rendition of Spin The Bottle during his two terms in the White House. Dick Cheney spun around in a crying fit like that mustached man who was hired to spin on his back for Jennifer Beals’ main character in the 1983 film Flashdance. Wherever Dick Cheney landed his displeasure, just like how that mustached man refused to shave for the spinning component in the Adrian Lyne’s musical, that part of the world suffered insufferably.

M: Dude! George W. Bush read through the numbers of the living former presidents as if he were reciting a woman’s dimensions!

D: Man! What a savage! Actually, that was very inappropriate and Laura Bush’s laughter was uncalled for! George W’s reciting “42-41-39” made me wonder if those were the measurements belonging to Laura Bush or the Statue of Liberty.

M: Dude! Peggy Noonan sure did write a tough squeal for the chauvinist W. I don’t think Peggy Noonan took into consideration W’s aptitude nor aura when finishing the final draft of that speech he gave on his historic day of polls going up and down and winds going right and left. It was essentially a diatribe for war, which was only replaced with the euphemism freedom.

D: Man! George W. Bush and Omar Borkan Al Gala ought to take refuge in the replica of the George W. Bush years in the Oval Office located inside that SMU mausoleum.

M: Dude! Omar Borkan Al Gala is swooning ladies on both sides of the Atlantic over lame translations of Arabic love songs. In that sense, Omar Borkan Al Gala shares a lot in common with George W because the latter borrowed heavily from Ahmed Rashid’s book Taliban: Militant Islam, Oil, & Fundamentalism In Central Asia, which was published in 2000 and 2001.

D: Man! I remember people talking about the Taliban in the late nineties without the concern that exploded onto the scene after 9/11.

M: Dude! George W. Bush unashamedly recalled the homemade boats in Louisiana following Hurricane Katrina, without once cringing at the thought that his administration did not allocate efficient funding until it was too late.

D: Man! George W. and his entire family termed the victims of Katrina as refugees. Ugh!

M: Dude! President George W. Bush is the most characterless citizen of the world and the United States of America. I’ve heard that he takes cellular pictures of himself in the shower and bathtub and then transfers them to canvas with his own watercolors and what-have-you. I think Andy Warhol borrowed the method from Winston Churchill who invented the technique of transfer after much inventive contemplation.

D: Man! Indeed! George W. and Omar Borkan Al Gala are equivocal narcissists.