Man! Dude! Session #145

(M)an: Dude! They have mugs at the George W. Bush Library on the SMU campus.

(D)ude: Man! They have mug shots of George W. Bush in his presidential library at SMU?

M: Dude! I’m not sure… I don’t know. With all the deliberate miscalculating on W.-Cheney-Rice-Rumsfeld’s end, Lipton Tea is far more representative of the humanity that the John Boehner House and Mitch McConnell Senate Republicans absolutely disavow.

D: Man! I did not know about bystander apathy existing in the United States Congress! Yes, I know how the term applies to police cases that are left cold because of placing the blame for the circumstances of the crime onto the victim of whatever horrors are inflicted onto him or her.

M: Dude! Just listen to the list of services that are provided by Lipton Tea to the tea harvesting families: conserving water, protecting wildlife habitat, planting trees and ensuring healthy soils; increasing access to housing, medical aid and education for the tea growing families; providing safe working conditions and decent wages.

D: Man! Hush! Paul Ryan may exit out of one of his P90X workout sessions at any moment to harass US with his blow-ups of bogus charts and graphs and, of course, the Paul Ryan Budget Plan that Mister Rogers would even reject on the grounds that Mister McFeely’s travels back and forth from the Real Neighborhood to Make-Believe may be forfeited all in the name of balancing pretend budget crises.

M: Dude! Don’t forget Officer Clemmons and his eventual leadership of the Harlem Spiritual Ensemble!

D: Man! Wasn’t H.J. Elephant III’s friendship with Prince Tuesday too uppity? Why couldn’t H.J. and Prince Tuesday embrace diversity in Make-Believe like Mister Rogers did in the Real Neighborhood? I would be impressed to see Henrietta Pussycat meowing away with those two! Maybe the actual world is Make Believe and the Real Neighborhood a distant tomorrow?

M: Dude! Did you watch the erroneous news story on ABC World News suggesting that those who can choose are choosing to relocate back to Mexico? Isn’t that convenient in the wake of immigration reform?

D: Man! The relocated population that ABC News covered was one woman in the midst of a ghost town of homes that looked uninhabited. Reminded me of the residential buildings in China that aren’t even utilized by the tenants who bought them pre-construction.

M: Dude! Zhang Xin’s designs are phenomenal. However, the people living in poverty are being displaced from their makeshift brick edifices. Reminds me of the way the Republican Sequestration has suspended social services in the United States and suffocated the disenfranchised.

D: Man! Do you think John Boehner and Mitch McConnell would support returning money to cancer centers and research and development only if one or both of them personally suffered the harshness of such a diagnosis? Chemotherapy is hellish, but to have to endure without continuation of treatment is murderous!

M: Dude! That Cleveland, Ohio case of the missing persons who were found in that house in a rickety neighborhood just within miles of the captives’ homes reminded me of my own experiences with social services, specifically Child Protective Services. My friend Louisa Allegory had tattoos and medical diagnoses that would make Rush Limbaugh and Bill O’Reilly come undone. Also, Louisa’s lack of sophisticated communication skills made her an easy target for judgment by authorities.

D: Man! Louisa Allegory and I went to the same junior high school! She needed CPS? Wow! I never imagined her as anybody but a professional. Too bad the teachers never saw past the nose ring and the specially dyed hair, which, by the way, were always styled and, I thought then and still think so, cleaner than the curling-iron-and-perm-damaged hair the other girls maintained.

M: Dude! I don’t understand why victim representatives and counselors many times look the other way on their vulnerable clients. Louisa Allegory became pregnant in the tenth grade and carried the baby to term and then struggled at the local retail stores to find work to support her parents who took care of her daughter while Louisa attended specially designed classes for pregnant teen mothers downtown.

D: Man! And? What happened after that?

M: Dude! Her boyfriend and his mother fought for custody and won. The judge in the case was a female and Louisa Allegory thought the time for justice would be delivered with the meticulous notes she kept of having found the baby’s breath questionably fruity. Turned out, the boyfriend and his mother gave the baby cough syrup and an antihistamine to keep her asleep.

D: Man! I wonder how many teen mothers don’t get respect from even females in the criminal justice system?

M: Dude! I typed the notes and prepped Louisa Allegory on how to dress down in tone while keeping evenness despite whatever was said and done in court. We covered her tattoos and a friend of hers did her hair and makeup while another teen mom in Louisa’s downtown group found the perfect dress pants and blouse for her to present herself in court.

D: Man! People look at struggling and poverty-stricken neighborhoods as not note-worthy, as if they are an untouchable class of misfits who the Republican Party gravitate against as the 47 percent folks who have no privileges as the top 2 percent of earners deserve.

M: Dude! I knew a social services worker who tore up cards she received from clients without ever once having fully read whatever was written inside. She insisted that her clients were good-for-nothings privately- even to the students she supervised!

D: Man! Elizabeth Colbert Busch’s defeat in  South Carolina yesterday made me wonder if she was a businesswoman foremost and a Democrat never. You know, Colbert Busch and her brother Stephen Colbert probably did a “Na-nannie-bo-bo!” stunt.

M: Dude! Mark Sanford’s win was calculated and the miscalculations on the Colbert Busch side were deliberate.

D: Man! If Mark Sanford can win in South Carolina with the underground support of his opposition, then how can we ever expect to clean up the gerrymandering? The gerrymandered districts are going to fight bitterly that they remain in good standing, despite the obvious moonlighting. The GOP and the NRA are protecting criminals, the definition of the word criminals being illicit and licit.

M: Dude! Blaming the victim of a horrendous criminal act like in the sexual assault cases of the United States Military is basically making all victims vulnerable. To support victims and their voices emerging from within the ranks of the United States Military, like Senator Claire McCaskill of Montana is demanding, will be groundbreaking for society altogether. That, and the fact that every member of society mustn’t cloud their humanity with judgment, ill will toward none, as Lincoln recited.