(M)an: Dude! Nobody better evangelize to me about the disciples of Jesus Christ. I read the Book Of Matthew myself and was fairly struck by the drowsiness of Peter, John, and James despite being told over and over again to remain awake as Jesus Christ visited and prayed in temples his simple yet dynamic prayers.
(D)ude: Man! Tell me this much: How did the personalities in the Bible manage to live hundreds of years of actual time? I was so confused once, I actually went to a corner bookstore to find a Children’s Version of the Holy Book!
M: Dude! Did you find a definitive answer?
D: Man! No! I just found definitive questions! I was truly amazed and disappointed, even more so than when my parents found out I wrote the multiplication tables on my arms before I ventured onto the school bus in the second and third grades.
M: Dude! How far did you manage to successfully pull off the cheating?
D: Man! Do you know how my parents exist on separate spheres of existence?
M: Dude! Yeah? Your mother has her priorities and your father has his, of course.
D: Man! I was doing just fine until the day in third grade when both my parents happened to be present and available to listen to me recite the multiplication tables. I was in a tough spot intellectually. You see, with just my mother present, I was able to pull off a lot of theatrics while keeping my back to her. But with my father present as well, I couldn’t do my one-act backside play techniques.
M: Dude! Your parents probably lectured you until you cried out in shame, am I right?
D: Man! Yeah! They made me feel like an intellectual equal, very grown up and mature, before frowning upon my cheating tactics. If I hadn’t been subjected to that much pomp, I probably would have landed in an illustrious acting career. Have you noticed the ubiquity with which Alan Cumming’s psychotic rendition of Shakespeare’s Macbeth is being advertised on the Internet?
M: Dude! It’s all over the place. As of today, there are only 60 performances left.
D: Man! The Republican Party in the United States is uncomfortably quiet. They remind me of the way in which Judas betrayed Jesus for the amount of 30 silver coins. And, I think this is also in the Book of Matthew, the treasury then had a hard time accepting the retrieval of those coins after Judas committed suicide via hanging.
M: Dude! What is your take on the ages of the personalities in the Holy Books?
D: Man! I think oral tradition entailed simultaneous existence of multiple prophetic personalities. I think when they say that Job lived another one hundred and eighty years that simply implies that it took one hundred and eighty additional years after Job’s sufferings to consolidate The Book Of Job.
M: Dude! That’s very creative! However, I sure do wish these Class of 2010 incoming Tea Party braggarts get booted out of the almost always-vacated floors of the House and Senate. It is incredible how our elected, through unfair gerrymandering, officials manage more time off from their duties as representatives when single mothers and fathers cannot take more than three paid sick days all in the face of the Republican Sequestration. And Texas Governor Rick Perry is adamant about rejecting the Health Care Affordability Care Act by refusing funding from the federal government.
D: Man! The GOP calls itself obstructionist, but I consider it an outrageous racist form of injustice towards the booming minority populations. Obstructionism is ethnocentrism, and there is a severe lack of true representation of the diversifying populations in the House and Senate. There is no government for the people and by the people, only special interests and a Republican Party wanting wars abroad and at home if their belligerent desires in foreign policy do not get addressed by the executive branch.
M: Dude! Ethnocentrism is the crux upon which the Republicans operate abroad. The severe striations of societies abroad are set and branded with the fire of pride and price. Wal-Mart et al did not care to investigate the addition of three more floors in the Bangladeshi garment factory building that collapsed because of the excess weight et cetera. Instead, the blame was placed locally on the local proprietor of the establishment, M. Sohel Rana.
D: Man! Keeping things local is a very Republican ideal, indeed. No wonder the GOP insists on limiting Roe V. Wade statewide! And their insistence over deregulations led to the West, Texas tragedy. Governor Rick Perry is a Republican coconspirator in its wake.
M: Dude! There is an answer to the unfair tactic of gerrymandering. The Office of Management and Budget released Bulletin No. 13-01 entitled Revised Delineations of Metropolitan Statistical Areas, Micropolitan Statistical Areas, and Combined Statistical Areas, and Guidance on Uses of the Delineations of These Areas.
D: Man! What is Dallas-Fort Worth?
M: Dude! DFW is actually Dallas-Fort Worth-Arlington! And we are, of course, considered a Metropolitan Statistical Area, and, keep in mind, these stats were set into motion in 2000 under George W. Bush. Despite that, the Republican Party still insists on random acts of redistricting, with the focus on White Flight rural communities getting just as much oomph as the urban multicultural centers that are returning to some coherence under President Obama.
D: Man! I saw a mother with three small children in traffic the other day. Much to my amazement, there was that now infamous yellow flag with the green snake in the middle insisting “Don’t Tread On Me!” I was dumbstruck that a carpool mom had no sense of what was happening in these United States. Well, then again, I think she believes the kooks like Limbaugh and O’Reilly and Beck and Faux News: That the United States is losing because of President Obama just because the guy’s a progressive and fighting for carpooling moms everywhere, alongside all the other unsung heroes that the Republican Party wants to disenfranchise.
M: Dude! How soon does the Republican Party forget! Remember how Mitt Romney emphasized marriage as the doctrine for women in the United States? And Paul Ryan’s budge still is the ridiculous document of pure missteps and miscalculations.
D: Man! Maybe Paul Ryan ought to apprentice for the Office of Management and Budget! Yeah?
M: Dude! Paul Ryan reeks of sweat from yesterday’s P90X workout! Conan O’Brien captured Paul Ryan’s intellectual vacancy perfectly by paralleling him with the celebrated Mister Bean on BBC.
D: Man! How do you mobilize voters to the polls in the midterms? Huh?
M: Dude! Middle and working classers and, especially, the poor like US, need to know that our votes count and that we need to fight for our rights to government assistance! The lawmakers in the Senate and House need to be replaced with the likes of Wendy Davis, not John Cornyn and Ted Cruz and Kay Granger.
D: Man! Did not Phil Graham vacate his seat for John Cornyn and Kay Bailey Hutchinson vacate hers for Ted Cruz? Tooting about everywhere now that she’s retired about the need for background checks regarding gun control, Kay Bailey Hutchinson is cleaning her switch blade to cut into yet another victory cake for the underground GOP folks like her that perpetuate mayhem and want to be commiserated in retirement.
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