Who's Who of the Tea Party Brewery & Chris Christie

(D)ude: Man! The Star-Ledger staffers have outdone themselves again in bringing out the truth behind Chris Christie’s façade and exposing him as the voice of the status quo in New Jersey and the United States that he is. Do you know that he has been balancing New Jersey’s budget with the $1.2 billion NJ received for the promotion and implementation of clean energy funds and ways towards renewable-energy alternatives?

(M)an: Dude! He has placed the blame on neighboring states for the air pollution that New Jersey has been generating because Christie refuses to support plans like the Regional Greenhouse Gas Initiative, which he snubbed despite the NJ Turnpike’s own infamous air pollution deserving to be addressed as well.

D: Man! Chris Christie is to New Jersey what Rick Perry is to Texas.

M: Dude! A plaguing governor who has his own personal regulatory guidelines that sometimes align with the federal government and other often times with the state?

D: Man! That’s right. There is a state of lawlessness and shady dealings that The Star-Ledger claims are delineated in a new book to be released this Tuesday, November 5, 2013, entitled Double Down: Game Change 2012 and coauthored by Mark Halperin and John Heilemann.   

M: Dude! Though a sought after fundraiser and speaker, Christie managed to annoy even Romney with his extravagant lifestyle maintenance at the expense of the campaign. Pricey hotels and transportation via private jets were not uncommon requests and would probably not have surfaced if not for Christie’s tardiness at speaking engagements, which Romney had to front while waiting for the NJ governor to make an appearance.

D: Man! Yeah! And, according to The Star-Ledger’s reporters, the book also backs the controversies surrounding Chris Christie’s stint as U.S. Attorney, like the costly travel expenses that got the attention of the George W. Cheney Justice Department, and the government contracts that Chris Christie deliberately gave to political and financial backers. 

M: Dude! Governor Chris Christie favored deferred prosecution agreements and brokered seven of these potentially clever corporate loopholes in a partisan fashion successfully. But the Congressional Republicans never held endless hearings on such matters between 2002 and 2008, the time of Christie’s reign of unethical practices as U.S. Attorney.    

D: Man! I don’t understand what our New Jersey brothers and sisters see in Chris Christie to reelect him this coming Tuesday. Chris Christie approaches his crowds as if they are the 2% he wants to address and defend economically and judiciously. The heart of the matter is that Barbara Buono will be reinstating the $7.5 million cut from Planned Parenthood clinics during Christie’s first term.

M: Dude! Barbara Buono will fight on behalf of NJ minimum wage earners while Christie would rather not adjust the minimum wage with regards to inflation rates. Barbara Buono wants to implement the immediate increase in minimum wage with adjustments due to inflation and will not stall legislation indefinitely like Chris Christie has done throughout his first term.    

D: Man! Like Florida Senator Marco Rubio, New Jersey Governor Chris Christie has mastered the tactic of delayed failure regarding progressive measures like gun control legislation. Specifically, Christie proposed a bill to ban .50 caliber rifles in April, but then vetoed the bill when it came to his desk from the state legislature.   

M: Dude! Governor Chris Christie did to gun control legislation in NJ what the United States Supreme Court did to affirmative action in the United States earlier this year.

D: Man! Vetoing bills by sending them back to the New Jersey Legislature, like Christie has done with gun registration identification requirements and reporting lost, stolen, and discarded firearms to federal databases. Concerning the federal databases, Christie maneuvered himself out of making a commitment there too by claiming that the state’s publishing firearms data from the Federal ATF would be going against the federal government.

M: Dude! Barbara Buono is with the people of New Jersey, not making false promises and insignificant signings like after the Sandy Hook massacre when Chris Christie basically adopted 13 laws that only reinforced what already was law but with stricter consequences.    

D: Man! Concerning stricter consequences, back in 2010, there was a typical well-shaven White guy who legally purchased handguns in Colorado, but did not secure a carry permit for New Jersey, which involves a mandatory three-year sentencing in NJ. However, Chris Christie, most likely wanting to build a rapport with American gun lobbyists, primarily the National Rifle Association, removed the guy from prison after only four months behind bars.

M: Dude! A typically well-shaven White guy, huh? Like you and I?

D: Man! More like you and me, if you really want authentic White American backwoods dialect. But in this particular case, the guy seemed to be less backwoods than us.

M: Dude! The guy was like my yoga instructor! Generations of lawyers with enough wealth to afford their youngest heir a yoga studio and access to all the cultural nuances of the upper crust in society, right?

D: Man! That’s it! Brian Aitken floats about carrying his handguns even to this day. In fact, the United States Department of Homeland Security Transportation Security Administration granted the master’s level entrepreneur clearance for his to and fro between Colorado and New Jersey.

M: Dude! Would the outcomes have been the same if Brian Aitken were a minority or facing financial woes like US?

D: Man! All you need to do is be the status quo and the agencies and leaders that came into existence and power via George W. Cheney, like the TSA and Chris Christie, will erase all your blunders and protect you from the harsh realities outside your castle(s).