Man! Dude! Session #216

(D)ude: Man! Chris Christie is very Republican, just like the two presidents for whom he did extensive campaigning in return for political favor. Because of Christie’s around the clock devotion to the presidential fundraising campaigns of George Herbert Walker Bush and George W. Bush, he was nominated and sworn into the office of federal prosecutor from New Jersey in 2002.

(M)an: Dude! From 1999 to 2001, Christie lobbied for deregulating the electric and gas industry in New Jersey, and by keeping securities fraud out of New Jersey Consumer Fraud Act. He even lobbied for state grants on behalf of the Hackensack University Medical Center and licensing for the University of Phoenix.

D: Man! Matt Bai of the New York Times wrote a February 24, 2011 article on Christie that highlighted very obviously that the Governor knows how to perform in front of audiences, roles like that of a public school student who implores a parent that his or her teachers not be charged with contributing 1.5% of their pay to health benefits.

M: Dude! Chris Christie places fiscal blame on the state public employees while favoring taxpayers who he defends as being worthy of a strict cap that guarantees local property taxes will not exceed 2% annually.

D: Man! This places the towns and cities of New Jersey in trouble, because Christie essentially insists that they not bother residents or the state for funds.

M: Dude! Chris Christie and his Administration are adamantly trying to derail same-sex marriage licenses that Judge Mary Jacobsen has declared New Jersey to recognize beginning October 21, 2013. Christie is now attempting to get the New Jersey Supreme Court to overturn the Jacobsen ruling. But that didn’t pan out because Jacobsen steadfastly defends her decision.

D: Man! Christie dodges questions like George W. Bush dodged the shoes thrown at him by an Iraqi journalist in Baghdad on December 14, 2008.

M: Dude! They are smooth white-collar criminals, George W. Bush and Chris Christie. Christie coordinated the election and reelection of George W. Bush very meticulously as to not leave behind any of his own fingerprints. And just a few hours ago, I came across an article proclaiming that George W. Bush and Dick Cheney were never close or connected, the latest attempt to place the Bush presidencies as having been triumphs.

D: Man! Governor Christie has managed to befriend Shaquille O’Neal just this past year and the two are busily making appearances to promote afterschool initiatives. However, Christie never answers the inquiries into why the state and he are devoting $500K now when, back in 2010, he cut $10 million dollars in state funds for the popular New Jersey After 3 Program, and went on to cut $3 million additional dollars when the Democratic Party tried to resuscitate it.

M: Dude! If New Jersey reelects Republican Chris Christie to the governorship, then there will be a concrete blueprint for the GOP to follow in order to win both houses of Congress in the 2014 midterms and the 2016 presidential election. Chris Christie will turn the other cheek to Shaquille and the entire constituency if it reelects him. And he has ample reason to become acerbic and acidic: He wants to fully implement his 33 parts “toolkit”, which includes severing the retiring workers cash payouts for unused sick days; making union members retire later with lower benefits than what they had been promised because of the irresponsible mathematical models of politicians like Christie.  

D: Man! Chris Christie is all for the employers, not the employees, just like the Paul Ryan Budget, which cuts social safety nets while promising a bright future ahead for the GOP’s own offspring and families. Sounds a lot like the imported politics of Pakistan, speaking of which, have you heard the news about Malala Yousafzai wanting to follow in the footsteps of her icon, the slain People’s Party’s Benazir Bhutto, the eleventh Prime Minister of Pakistan.

M: Dude! Malala Yousafzai? Benazir Bhutto? Chris Christie? And the GOP’s own offspring and families? Sounds right. Sounds similar. But that Benazir Bhutto would be the hero of a teenager shot by the Taliban post-2007? That’s incredible!

D: Man! Why would Malala Yousafzai reduce herself to wanting to be a woman who went to Harvard University care of the Pakistani Treasury and then had the presumptuous desire to drive a red sports car during her Cambridge days and become seduced by Asif Ali Zardari’s knowing she loved peppermint ice cream, which she indulged in on their first date?

M: Dude! That was a fatalistic serving of peppermint ice cream! Indeed! But I get your point completely. The children of these politicians are not the “takers” that they- like Paul Ryan and Zardari- desecrate.

D: Man! Benazir Bhutto bred the Taliban. She then corrupted the Taliban with guns and- do you think the NRA has a worldwide following? I think they might! But, anyways, she used the corrupted Taliban as terrorists.

M: Dude! Okay! The People’s Party under Zardari pointed and shot the gun that victimized Malala Yousafzai, right?

D: Man! That’s it! That’s it! You don’t think Benazir Bhutto didn’t know she was married to “Mister Ten Percent” as Zardari was known throughout the region?

M: Dude! He did ease into the position of government contractor when Benazir Bhutto was Prime Minister. And, yes, he was known to be an intimidating criminal mind.

D: Man! Malala Yousafzai’s father is corrupt and buyable. The EU awarded Malala with $65,000 yesterday, but I want to know, where is that money going? Does Malala Yousafzai have any claim to the prize money and has her father accepted bribes from corrupt officials at the Pakistani Consulate in Great Britain?

M: Dude! It is very odd that Malala chose to disclose her desire to be Prime Minister of Pakistan, and that Benazir was someone she admired. I think Malala could be exploited and extorted financially very easily, she is only sixteen. 

D: Man! She should become the voice of the voiceless girls in Pakistan by funding their education from Great Britain because the UK saved her life and is still protecting her from harm’s way. And she should aspire a position on the British Parliament and work for the voiceless children of Pakistan and their education through Britain.

M: Dude! Malala Yousafzai has the potential to someday deserve the Nobel Peace Prize exclusively on her merits, not that puppet master who she considers her father, right?

D: Man! Yeah! Malala Yousafzai ought to be able to balance a checkbook and think from her own brilliant mind, not someone else’s, especially not her father’s! Why doesn’t she put her prize money where her heart is, or, does she even have the luxury anymore to dream for herself and her sisters in crisis?

M: Dude! Her father may be shuttling money to his own family back in Pakistan out of the money intended for Malala. If that is the case, it is a sad one. That Malala has become the auspicious lecturer who is supporting her entire family at sixteen is questionable.

D: Man! She’s Malala Yousafzai! Not Shirley Temple Black, who earned and lost everything by her parents!