(M)an: Dude! A person maneuvering their cell phone with far
more consideration than operating their car hit me from behind in yet another
car accident this morning. And the last one was just this past July! July,
August, September, October… under three and a half months! State Farm
recommended that I sign up for hit-and-run coverage and I agreed, thankfully! The
driver who smashed my car from the back ran off while I was trying to cue my
cell phone’s camera today. I should have focused on the license plate but was
too rattled to think that coherently.
(D)ude: Man! But you’re okay, right?
M: Dude! Yeah. I’m perfectly fine, having worn a seat belt
and set my cell phone silent and sitting in the passenger’s seat. But, get
this: The police station is only open for three hours on the weekdays due to
the Republican-led Government Shutdown.
D: Man! That certainly counters the GOP Tea Partiers’
insistence that nothing is wrong and everything is in tip-top shape despite the
Republican Party’s government shutdown tactics.
M: Dude! The camera at the traffic light captured the
accident but the police don’t have the funding to properly provide timely
services! The last time too, back in July, the Sequestration had caused
government offices to operate at annoyingly inconvenient times and closings. It
did not matter how many people were seated in any of the offices, when the time
to shutdown neared, the offices turned away the people still in line and
waiting to get a chance to relate their needs in services.
D: Man! The voter suppression tactics put into place by
state legislatures across the country following the Shelby County Supreme Court
derailing of the Voting Rights Act of 1965, function the exact same way! Voting
booths will not remain open afterhours in order to accommodate all the people
standing in lines outside. And they have reduced the allotted times to usher in
voters by at least three or four hours and shamelessly declare even right now
on these Republican-infested legislatures’ websites that voters will not be
given the privilege to vote afterhours, sometimes indicating that the booths
will operate and close at office hours like 6:30 AM to 7:30 PM, like in House
Speaker Boehner’s Ohio.
M: Dude! That’s only 5 additional hours of operations for
the Ohioan counties’ regular office hours of 8:30 AM to 4:00 PM.
D: Man! Did you see Nicolle D. Wallace on Lawrence
O’Donnell’s show last night. She was a Republican from the Bush White House
years and talking like a hula-hoop. You know? Saying lines straight-faced that
have no foundation or connection with anything, like George W. Bush and Dick
Cheney, and Condoleezza Rice and Donald Rumsfeld.
M: Dude! Talking like a hula-hoop? Or talking into a
hula-hoop that’s been busted at one point, but Nicolle D. Wallace tries to
contentiously persuade, like Chris Christie’s denial of ever having worked
personally for the campaigns of George H. W. and George W. Bush, that there is
no point in the GOP’s hula-hoop but a certain end nevertheless where the
hula-hoop had been busted.
D: Man! The GOP Republicans are taking the physics of
hula-hoops and want tree saplings to hula-hoop since their entire stature is
pretty much for the most part, a waist that is far slender than anything in
nature, right?
M: Dude! The Koch Brothers-backed GOP Tea Partiers have an
even more slender insignia, the rattlesnake!
D: Man! Virginia Foxx seems to be standing tall and
hero-worshipping either John Boehner or Eric Cantor in the addresses they make
to the press corps.
M: Dude! The House Republican Conference is the body of
gerrymandered representatives who approve GOP members’ committee assignments
and media communications. The Republican Conference Chair is Washington’s 5th
District’s Cathy McMorris Rodgers, the Republican Representative who supports repealing
Obamacare and implementing health information technology to improve the quality
and effectiveness of health care.
D: Man! In other words, she is bought. The folks who control
her every action in congress are probably health insurance companies that live
to drive out the costs of actual health care by ordaining people coverable or
uncoverable.
M: Dude! Virginia Foxx and Cathy McMorris are three-pronged
serpent heads, Foxx being the Secretary of the Republican Conference, McMorris
being the Chair, and Lynn Jenkins being the Vice Chair.
D: Man! I think it’s the other way around. These three women
are leading the GOP serpents John Boehner, Eric Cantor, Kevin McCarthy, Greg
Walden, and James Lankford, et al like snake charmers.
M: Dude! They are the serpents of Morgana, a woman so
complex that the Republican Party female membership comprises fractions of that
one fictional character portrayed in John Boorman’s 1981 film Excalibur masterfully by Helen Mirren.
D: Man! I have a picture of that snake as it was presented
on the television screen during the Rachel Maddow Show.
M: Dude! Really? Let me see! Oh! Did you know that the House
Republican Conference members were divided within themselves as to whether or
not take the invite from the White House to come and meet with the President
himself this morning?
D: Man! How many Republicans would it take to light up the
country?
M: Dude! They fuse so often that the GOP has replaced
Senator Ted Cruz and the quest to derail Obamacare, with Representative Paul
Ryan and the quest to implement the exact same Ryan Budget that all the
Republican leaders have on their websites, including Cathy McMorris Rodgers.
D: Man! I would advertise the get out and vote campaign by
making it appear as refreshingly surprising as opening a box of Cracker Jacks
or Fruit Loops and deciding who is who and what. You cannot tell these days
online as precisely as you will be able to see them listed on the ballots.
M: Dude! Like green is supposed to be lime, and yellow is
supposed to be lemon in Fruit Loops?
D: Man! I don’t think the GOP can reach a consensus about
Fruit Loops flavors! They want tree saplings to hula-hoop!
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