Sahir Ludhianvi (1921-1980) "Inheritance", p.251 (translated from the Hindi-Urdu by Alverston & Associates)

Sahir Ludhianvi (1921-1980) "Inheritance", p.251, translated from the Hindi-Urdu by Manfred Spencer Alverston & Associates. 

“Inheritance”

(Addressing rich people’s avarice)

This country is not the descendant estate from your generation or mine.

Hundreds of generations of labor have arranged it so:

How many minds’ hard work curtailed?

So many eyes strained!

How many men of modest mien dishonored?

So many foreheads’ vermillion breaking out in the sweat of toiling widows!

All these perils were offered to the earth.

Then these views were diffused:

These young idols carved of stone

This perplexity of voices

This language of colors

The abounding twisted smoke emitted from chimneys

It is not of your creation,

It is not of my creation!

We can insist upon there being one, but there is no one process to confirm all these wonders.

Knowledge was ascended onto the cross, then apprised afterwards.

Centuries washed down poison, before insight was found agreeable.

Hundreds of feet were severed before the construction of the staircase.

Under your feet, or under my feet,

The destiny of Humanity’s days or nights is not dependent.

This nation is not the descendant estate from your generation or mine.

Hundreds of generations of labor have arranged it so:

Whatever your sorrows be,

Whatever my grief be,

Whatever the tyranny of wealthy people be,

Tomorrow’s generations are also to be accounted for!

Whenever we subvert,

Their inheritance turns into ruins.

Please do not perpetuate such tyranny,

It is not your creation alone,

So don’t ruin it!

From which a farmer is unable to get a daily sustenance,

I will never advise you to burn that field,

For only if the crop exists, then distribution can be explored!

Are you going to ask for Democracy from the ashes of crops?

Only if bridges are safe and sound, then you can go across

Or it’s grounds for opposition from the grass roots!

Otherwise, my dear comrade, my friend Ghalib has said so,

“Every wave has a snare of hundreds of crocodile palettes!”

Think and consider this before you set out

To break down proletariat infrastructure.

Is your fight with structuring a battle for destruction?

If government officials are delusive, and they were elected by proletariat support,

And bourgeoisie households, then the body politic is criminal.

Even if they were elected by my support, then I am criminal.

Train tracks, city buses, telephone lines,

Why suffer for our corruption?

Why traumatize those whose fault is none?

This country is not the descendant estate from your generation or mine.

Hundreds of generations of labor have arranged it so:

Your complaint is also worthy, as is my grievance

The need to change the milieu’s color is just.

Who says you cannot criticize the circumstances?

That you do not have to agree with the rulers’ wrongfulness

You have every right to express your views

And this right is not the alms from history

Our comrades have, by offering their blood,

Planted in this soil of oppression, a tree of equity

Which has, after a long time, bore flowers and fruits.

Asking for your own rights is paramount

However, do not ask through their assistance, these delusive cheats

About those swindlers, they will even kill the conception of your right!

Raise your hands, but do not raise them in these shufflers’ company!

About these people, who will sever your hands from your body,

They are not the interpretation of Humanity’s dream of emancipation.

They are wearying, debilitating, disheartening!

This nation is not the descendant estate from your generation or mine.

Hundreds of generations of labor have arranged it so!

Sahir Ludhianvi (1921-1980) "Inheritance", p.251, translated from the Hindi-Urdu by Manfred Spencer Alverston & Associates. 

Man! Dude! Session #177

(M)an: Dude! This middle of the night legislative trysting of the Republican Party leaders is leading to rewriting intellectually arguable laws into subpar worse-than-Machiavellian and just-like-al-Assad manifestos.   

(D)ude: Man! South Carolina Governor Pat McCrory is testing out a Republican strategy in his GOP saturated state legislature. Governor McCrory is not reading and refuses to read any bill that comes his way for signature. But the kicker in this is that Governor McCrory signs the legislation into law with just the promise that what he wants, oppressive policies towards minorities and women, are contained within the paperwork somewhere.  

M: Dude! South Carolina GOP Governor Pat McCrory does not read the bills so that if problems arise, he can just dismiss the person or people responsible for whatever part of the signed legislation comes under public scrutiny.

D: Man! There is no such thing as public scrutiny left in the Republican-held state legislatures. The GOP is actually gaining momentum in terms of arrogance and reckless political swooning, just look at Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker! Governor Walker is so out of control after the United States Supreme Court’s Shelby County, Alabama decision to gut out Section 4 from the Voting Rights Act of 1965, titling his upcoming book Unintimidated.  

M: Dude! Reminds me of the same taunting by Mitt Romney in his classic tale of exceptionality-without-regard-to-the-47% No Apology.  

D: Man! If an Unintimidated Scott Walker and Mitt Romney offering No Apology is the new Republican norm, I’m going to start listening to Barry Manilow and following Pope Francis since his return from Copacabana Beach, where three million followers gathered for Mass in Rio de Janeiro.

M: Dude! His name was Boehner/He wore a diamond/He was escorted to his chair/He saw McConnell dancing there/And when he finished/He called him over/But Boehner went a bit too far/Beck sailed across the bar/And the punches flew and legislations were smashed in twos/There was blood and a single gun shot/But just who shot who?  

D: Man! Wayne LaPierre shot Glenn Beck in the derriere! At the Copa! Copacabana!

M: Dude! I tell you! That Tony Weiner reminds me of Tim Conway’s perverted Peek-a-Booing Uncle caricature from the Carol Burnett Show!  

D: Man! Tony Weiner and the Internet do not go together. I think Tony Weiner is a  cockroach that just hasn’t discovered full-length mirrors, although he is constantly on the prowl for potential eye-to-eye flirtations in his campaign bid for New York City mayor. He’s going to be a constant impediment to the Democratic Party and subjected to so much blackmail that he’ll squash all decency like a Republican LaGuardia or Giuliani.

M: Dude! Tim Conway was genius! Tony Wiener is a cockroach! I agree with you one hundred percent about the blackmail that will cost the Democratic Party immensely with this lewd dork.

D: Man! Doesn’t Wisconsin Representative, and Governor Scott Walker’s BFF, Paul Ryan self-identify as a dork?

M: Dude! I think so? No! Wait! Dorky Paul Ryan self-identifies as a quote unquote wonky wonk. Remember how he always becomes concerned for the American constituency only in matters of understanding the deficient charts and graphs that the doltish GOP has adopted without ever rereading or revising?

D: Man! Texas Representative Kay Granger and Senators Cornyn and Cruz still believe in the Paul Ryan Budget Proposal. And, get this, Cornyn was donning Google Glasses on Capitol Hill yesterday like a greedy bully who purports fiscal conservatism and then wears innovative inventions that would not be possible if the United States had adopted the strict and Cornyn-y bias that Dreamers are a detriment and that immigration is only, as Jeb Bush stated, necessary because immigrants are more fertile.

M: Dude! Don’t forget that, as John McCain stated, immigrants mow our lawns, they care for our babies.

D: Man! Meghan McCain sure isn’t a Brussels sprout out of Arizona. She wrote vividly about her sniveling and cursory cussing for the sake of being taken as an outside of the box political icon ten months before her father’s losing the presidency.

M: Dude! Except… I didn’t get fed. Yep, the sad ending to this story about my visit to the White House is that our food didn’t come in time. My mother and Mrs. Bush must have inhaled their meal in record time, because almost as soon as we ordered lunch in the mess, we were called away. My mom was ready to leave. I was given a doggie bag of enchiladas instead. Woof-Woof.

D: Man! Wanna talk about feeling stupid and unwanted? Try carrying a take-out bag as you leave the White House in sparkly glitter heels and your hair braided in three huge cornrows.

M: Dude! It felt so fitting, a perfect metaphor for how I felt about my place within the Republican political establishment too. It seemed like a place of almost cultish exclusivity. I was excited to be there, but they weren’t excited to have me.

D: Man! Wanna talk about feeling stupid and unwanted? Try carrying a take-out bag as you leave the White House in sparkly glitter heels and your hair braided in three huge cornrows.

M: Dude! For all intents and purposes, I should be allowed in and asked to join the team, but I am not invited, not asked to join, and in fact, even if I am allowed inside, I am relegated to the basement where I won’t actually be given food.

D: Man! Wanna talk about feeling stupid and unwanted? Try carrying a take-out bag as you leave the White House in sparkly glitter heels and your hair braided in three huge cornrows.

M: Dude! You do the best impersonation of the daughter-of, as Meghan McCain loves to identify herself throughout her 2010 memoir.

D: Man! Wanna talk about feeling stupid and unwanted? Try carrying a take-out bag as you leave the White House in sparkly glitter heels and your hair braided in three huge cornrows.

M: Dude! That is the mark of a true bigot, indeed. Meghan McCain’s going to be hosting her own show on the new broadband network Pivot, specifically designed to attract a  millennial audience, ages 15 to 34 specifically.

D: Man! Wanna talk about feeling stupid and unwanted? Try carrying a take-out bag as you leave the White House in sparkly glitter heels and your hair braided in three huge cornrows.

M: Dude! The channel is debuting tomorrow and is part of Clarence Thomas’s wife’s Groundswell endeavors to calculatingly bring forth a new Republican Party platform and more clandestine operations like the middle of the night statewide legislative sessions.

D: Wanna talk about feeling stupid and unwanted? Try carrying a take-out bag as you leave the White House in sparkly glitter heels and your hair braided in three huge cornrows.

M: Dude! Mrs. Clarence Thomas couldn’t even come up with an alternative name to Groundswell, a phenomenon in which the traditional business model is trodden by the consumers’ power to review and decide the fate of products as diverse as the Internet communities out there these days.

D: Man! Wanna talk about feeling stupid and unwanted? Try carrying a take-out bag as you leave the White House in sparkly glitter heels and your hair braided in three huge cornrows.

M: Dude! There’s something going on and the blueprint is the Harvard Business Press text entitled Groundswell: Winning in a World Transformed by Social Technologies by the authors Charlene Li and Josh Bernoff.

D: Man! Wanna talk about feeling stupid and unwanted? Try carrying a take-out bag as you leave the White House in sparkly glitter heels and your hair braided in three huge cornrows. 

Man! Dude! Session #176

(D)ude: Man! The United States Press ridiculed President Obama’s speech this morning. I watched the speech on television and online and was genuinely moved to do something for the countless folks in our community who will be blocked from casting ballots in the upcoming midterm elections. I have scheduled two driving lessons for two of my buddies’ wives for this week.

(M)an: Dude! You’re helping people get their driver’s licenses got me thinking yesterday and I decided to place the five thousand dollars I set aside for a new used car for the fall into a similar effort like yours. I’m not a great driver myself and thought about the folks who will have to present valid identification in the midterms due to voter suppression efforts throughout the country following the Supreme Court’s Shelby decision.

D: Man! I never knew you to save money! But now that you apparently have, what are you going to do on behalf of those lacking a valid identification for casting ballots in the upcoming midterm elections?

M: Dude! The cost of a passport is around $125.00 normally for an adult or a minor. But expedited service is also an option but with an added $60.00 fee plus two-way overnight delivery costs that can make it financially unfeasible for an adult of voting age to even attempt to attain such services and hurdles.

D: Man! That’s quick thinking on your end! It would be really hard to observe someone getting disqualified after standing in line for the chance to cast their ballot based on new and tougher voter restrictions. I really wonder what is going on in the United States these days and why no one in the American Press can even peep a word out in favor of the Obama Administration?

M: Dude! Steve Kornacki, George Stephanopoulos, and David Gregory really have given in to the neoconservative insiders that are beginning to infiltrate the popular media like in the last midterms that gave US obstructionist Speaker Boehner and the appropriations-obsessed Republican House Caucus. The reason for the American Press aligning itself with the GOP is simply one of methodology and advertising.  

D: Man! So, methodically the GOP has always been mute and favorable towards an incumbent democratic president?

M: Dude! Yes! And the GOP is up to the exact tactics this time. There was Newt Gingrich then and John Boehner now. The Democratic Party lost control of both chambers of Congress as the United States Press Corps is hoping to parallel President Obama and President Clinton in order for backwardness to prevail again.

D: Man! Steve Kornacki’s show was like watching Morning Joe flute out accolades about the desirable GOP of not just yesteryears but also just this past week. You know, I am not able to tolerate sodium in my diet like the average McDonald’s customer has been reported to be able to do in the latest NBC News and Wall Street Journal poll out just this morning.

M: Dude! What if I were to inform you that a Journal of the American Medical Association study found similar results in a controlled quantitative whatever?

D: Man! I would prefer an ABC News poll like George Stephanopoulos, or, better yet, the Wall Street Journal editorials like David Gregory, when addressing Treasury Secretary Jack Lew face-to-face on my program. Forget controlled quantitative whatever! That would only reinforce President Obama’s speech at Knox College in Galesburg, Illinois last week, which received a wonderful reception by the audience, the place was packed and resonating responsiveness.

M: Dude! The American Press Corps folks at Public Policy Polling, for example, are reporting very detailed results as of July 25, 2013, showing without bias how the conservatives are actually in the lead nationally for the midterms and 2016. Did you know that Rand Paul, Jeb Bush, Chris Christie, Paul Ryan, Ted Cruz, Marco Rubio, Rick Santorum, Bobby Jindal, and Susana Martinez are actually being touted as presidential possibilities?

D: Man! Covertly, the GOP is manipulating the American political system once again without any focus on their opposition, but totally immersed in their own toxic brew that includes pseudo-Democrats like Kirsten Gillibrand and the Cory Booker.

M: Dude! Kirsten Gillibrand and Cory Booker bring to mind what took place at the round table discussions on MSNBC’s Up, ABC’s This Week, and NBC’s Meet The Press: journalistic treachery. Beginning with the glib sarcastic outlook for the Obama Administration on MSNBC’s “Up”, bashing Detroit as the bigoted George Will and self-aggrandizements of Peggy Noonan could only put out of perspective and into a prejudicial loophole of dissent, and the screwball kooks Maria Bartiromo and Harold Ford Junior making declarations of their alliance with the Democratic outlook of David Axelrod when both Bartiromo and Harold Ford Junior purported non-Democratic principles of throwing in the towel and allowing the abortion restrictions (Bartiromo) and the installment of the Keystone Pipeline XL (Ford Junior).  

D: Man! And when Representative for Michigan’s 8^th congressional district Mike Rogers disclosed in a whirlpool about Snowden’s current situation, he also directly stated something that David Gregory conveniently overlooked: that “our soldiers in Afghanistan are in harm’s way” and regarding Russian and Chinese intelligence, there is “a lot to be concerned about”… I sincerely suspect that the Republican Party is treasonous in interfering with the day-to-day operations of the Obama Administration. And the GOP can interfere: it’s got too many thriving business executives financing their pseudo-government.

M: Dude! Mike Rogers is the Chairman of the House Intelligence Committee and his wife is conveniently the former President and CEO of Aegis LLC, an intelligence contractor concerned with security details.  

D: Man! And John Boehner has clearly stated that his caucus is only concerned over repealing laws and blocking legislation. And the Republicans want to spread freedom elsewhere like Egypt and Syria, when they themselves have adopted the same corruption patterns practiced by the governing parties in the Middle East!

M: Dude! Civil disobedience cannot be observed in places like Republican Scott Walker’s Wisconsin anymore, the gerrymandering and cheating tactics ingraining the status quo while protestors are getting arrested for peaceful demonstrations!

D: Man! GOP instituted the Muslim Brotherhood and then let bombs burst in the air over Egypt and Syria. Then they switched routes and played mind games with the most vulnerable, the hapless civilian populations in both nations. The Republican Party is despicable and deserving of dire straits of its own!

M: Dude! And George Will and Peggy Noonan wrote out Detroit from the conscience of readers of the Wall Street Journal and viewers of ABC News. And now they have the gumption to express such hate and disgust towards Americans in poverty, George Will actually having declared his view that African Americans in Detroit have caused their own demise and the cultural collapse of one of Michigan’s cornerstones, which is infested with wild dogs and decay.

D: Man! George Will’s next incarnation will be that of a wild dog in Detroit!

M: Dude! George Will is a wild dog! A natural gas and fossil fuels enthusiast, the defining madness of the present GOP!

D: Man! These pestilential Republicans like the Wall Street Journal’s Peggy Noonan and George Will are making it harder and harder to be a minority and a woman! Lindy Boggs freed women from their husbands’ power over their personal finances by fighting against the stipulation that a woman had to garner a husband’s approval and signature in order to get a credit card! And Martin Luther King Junior fought so we could be judged by the content of our character sometime in the nearer and nearer present that the Supreme Court Male Injustices have suddenly move US back to the days of Jim Crow!

M: Dude! To answer Stephanie Mencimer’s question in Mother Jones on Friday: Is Ginni Thomas’ expanding activism with [Groundswell Republicanism] a problem for Supreme Court [In]justice Clarence Thomas? Yeah! Yes! Yeah!

Man! Dude! Session #175

(M)an: Dude! Did you hear about the Lincoln Memorial being vandalized sometime in the early morning hours Friday?

(D)ude: Man! How so?

M: Dude! Someone splattered green paint on the side of Lincoln’s left leg. But, thankfully, no permanent damage was sustained.

D: Man! Talking about permanent damage, the situation in Detriot, Michigan has me rethinking the massive development of expensive condo buildings in the Fort Worth, Texas Museum District. Have you ever thought about the similarities between Detroit and Fort Worth?

M: Dude! Governor Rick Snyder of Michigan and Governor Rick Perry of Texas are collaboratively instituting a pattern of privatization and pocketing of government revenue for their own personal wealth. The grounds on which they argue their points are totally bogus and destructive of the middle and working classes: that the government programs and social safety nets do not work anymore because they are broken or torn up and, hence, unsustainable.

D: Man! The Republican Party can rename and regroup as they wish with synonyms like Tea Party Express and Groundswell, but the Republican GOP is only in the political game for personal welfare that does not settle for anymore than everything from the national and statewide budgets for gross wealth for themselves and slums for imperiled folks like US!

M: Dude! You know how many times the local banks have sent letters promising to pay my parents’ mortgage in full? It’s an old scam but utilized aggressively since the gerrymandering redistricting and the resulting stronghold of the Republican Party. You see, the banks all promise to pay the mortgage in full, but if one of my parents dies, the banks will find technicalities to intimidate and eventually repossess the house and leave my remaining parent without a proper residence.  

D: Man! What’s the difference between the United States of America and present-day Egypt? Absolutely nothing! Hosni Mubarak and Mohamed Morsi were implementing the exact same schemes as Governors Snyder and Perry are doing in states like Michigan and Texas. Did you know that Representative Kay Granger actually had government housing apartment complexes adjacent to Ridge Country Club vacated and torn down to build that  fancy gated apartment community and drilling apparatus along Westridge Avenue?

M: Dude! What is that apparatus anyways? I have seen many like it all over Fort Worth’s residential areas and cannot imagine who would allow their home to be next to a natural gas drilling apparatus, if that is what it is! Do you remember how people were told to stay away from that area for so long and warned about possible arrest if anyone were to climb up over the makeshift plastic walls barricading the patch of land to be converted to a natural gas source?

D: Man! The Republican Party, regardless of whatever moniker they choose to adopt, whether it is Tea Party Express or Groundswell, consists of such corrupt professionals that to even consider them as conscionable is like a child being duped by an illusionist’s showmanship at the circus. The Republican GOP is that entity of cold-blooded strategists who are able to pull the tablecloth from underneath the place setting without disturbing even one piece, however breakable it may be in our attempts, of that place setting. 

M: Dude! It is not entertainment to US, but these cold-blooded killers of the democratic process snicker and howl with laughter when they convene secretively in the nighttime. They talk about constitutionality, but if they were to actually read the United States Constitution they would find that they themselves have violated the sacred doctrine multiple times. The technicality on which I make my point is Article 1, Section 5 that states, “Each House shall be the Judge of the Elections, Returns, and Qualifications of its own Members, and a Majority of each shall constitute a Quorum to do Business.”

D: Man! That’s a way to interpret the Republican Underworld. But I think there is a flaw in their design nonetheless: their inability to work independently of each other. They’re too engrossed in the moneymaking prospects that arise with the likes of gangsters such as George W. Bush and Dick Cheney to really focus on anything other than wars abroad and privatization at home.

M: Dude! It doesn’t take much critical thinking skills to manufacture havoc! Dick Cheney and Donald Rumsfeld have been doing so since overseeing the butchering of all of humanity via extending the Vietnam War and then Operation Desert Storm in the last millennium and Operation Iraqi Freedom and then war in Afghanistan in the new millennium.

D: Man! You know where else Representative Kay Granger has overseen the construction of that drilling apparatus? Along Sycamore School Road near where my parents live. Remember how there were geologists that came into my parents’ neighborhood and pretended to be measuring any significant source of minerals and natural gas underneath homes and residential streets? I think that’s the Republican Party’s strategy to engage homeowners in the process of destroying so much land for the building of that ugly and dangerous natural gas source apparatus.

M: Dude! And the Republican Party wants to intervene in Syria and Egypt!
That’s just a strategy to get the American people’s attention even more diverted from these dubious activities that the Republican-run state legislatures are engaging in locally. The Republican Party is insulting and assaulting the American Dream from all angles and then diverting attention onto erroneous manufactured scandals that cannot stand the test of common sense and end up costing taxpayer money that could have gone to funding social safety nets that protect US from these neoconservative vultures.   

D: Man! The 47% that Mitt Romney talked extensively about disparagingly in that classic undercover videotape last year makes me wonder even more about the way the United States Banks and hustlers like Romney, Snyder, and Perry are orchestrating corporate takeover of American communities. 

M: Dude! Hosni Mubarak and Mohamed Morsi were doing the same in Egypt and, like the United States Supreme Court male injustices, the Court of Law in Egypt is politically bought and even in the judiciary in Syria, Bashar al-Assad is the one in charge of the verdicts. That’s how systematically corruption dilutes justice and makes way for warlord paradises. Representative Kay Granger adamantly believes in the dead-on-arrival and ridiculous Paul Ryan Budget Plan although all of the points in the supposed budgetary proposal have not held up in the simplest measurement: the test of time.

D: Man! Socialism follows capitalism!

M: Dude! Karl Marx wrote about that long ago. However, what the GOP is doing is what Joseph Schumpeter popularly termed creative destruction in the field of economics.

D: Man! Did you know that Karl Marx died a month after Joseph Schumpeter was born?

M: Dude! Really?

D: Man! Yeah! And Schumpeter’s third wife, Elizabeth Boody, was an American who held two doctorates and assisted her husband in polishing up his concepts of  business cycles where, without innovation and entrepreneurial zest, society stagnates and rusts.

M: Dude! That’s just it! And education ought not be a privilege for a few and unemployment ought not persist or it will cause discontent that will fuel people to protest, which will create a momentum for healthy paradigm shifts as a result of the citizens voicing their concerns through collective problem-solving.

D: Man! Power to the people! Wait, how do we organize for the midterm elections? I have been teaching driving 101 to minority men and women who do not have their driver’s licenses and want to be able to vote with a valid ID and not be turned away during the midterm elections.

M: Dude! Do you need me to help?

D: Man! No, but I will be sure to enlist your help if need be.

Man! Dude! Session #174

(D)ude: Man! Forget the Canadian frontiers! Tar-sands oil spills have Alberta, Canada just soaking in toxic waste from such explainable natural disasters throughout the length of what could be the Keystone Pipeline XL jugging beneath the ground of our aquifers and natural habitats that are already scarce if not nonexistent!

(M)an: Dude! Arkansas suburbs are suffering because of oil leaks gushing up from the ground and polluting the streets where children used to play. Actually, the houses are typical idyllic suburban styled, like my brother’s place near Arlington, Texas.

D: Man! Where are your photographs of the depleting of earth vegetation?

M: Dude! The ones I constructed with my paternal grandfather’s iMac, iPad3, Apple TV, and iWeb applications? Let’s see… I think I can retrieve them from your laptop.

D: Man! But my laptop’s dated! It is so May 2001! How many years ago was that? Twelve! Wow!

M: Dude! Just hand me that dated piece of equipment and I’ll retrieve the photographs from my Google Mail account. I think I forwarded them to several friends and relatives. They’re really are a sad reality in that the flora just isn’t as delicate and bright and diverse as it used to be. Remember when the roses were multi-petal extravaganzas?  

D: Man! You’re making me cry! Those roses haven’t been blooming since high school! I think they actually had to shut down the botanic gardens in order to pluck out the luscious masterpieces and replace every intricacy with a rugged alternative. It is devastating! The Republican GOP does not understand that placing the Environmental Protection Agency on the chopping block will only exacerbate the terrain of this rapidly depleting beauty we call earth?

M: Dude! And they want to go to Mars! Give the Republican GOP leaders the votes in the midterms and we will have certainly killed Planet Earth. Have you seen the latest pictures from Mars?

D: Man! Yeah! If the Republican Party wins control of Congress yet once again this fall and the 2014 midterms, we can basically expect our Planet Earth to deteriorate to the exact barrenness as Mars!

M: Dude! That is the hard truth! And President Obama is already trying to do so much so that Planet Earth does not degrade into yet another inhabitable red desert.

D: Man! I’m scared! Do you think the photographs you took in honor of our hero and innovator of these kinds of artworks, Steve Jobs, will get through to the purposeful mindlessness that the Tea Party and the Republican GOP hold onto to in order to make humanity suffer so that they can loot the treasury and the military and all infrastructures?

M: Dude! Where is the defunding of the EPA going to go? I think the Republican leadership is going to try to pocket the savings in this insane obstructionist boggle.

D: Man! We can still replenish the flora and rehabilitate Planet Earth!

M: Dude! Certainly! President Obama has blueprints to possible solutions, but the Congressional Republicans prefer to annihilate the natural world. They want to troll in the air in private jets, forgetting that their policies of across the board inaction will only perpetuate environmental damages.  

D: Man! They laugh at the EPA and the Obama Administration’s proactive stances, but the Republican Party is so loggerheaded that I don’t think they deserve to be reelected into political clout and power.

M: Dude! They will deservedly lose the midterms if they continue to spend more time vacationing than addressing the issues that are affecting so many of US!

D: Man! Did you hear that Governor Bob McDonnell has chosen to take a trip to Afghanistan in midst of corruption charges? Yeah, he is prancing around our uniformed sons and daughters like a hero, much the same way Bushes 41 and 43 have recaptured the national spotlight for their humanitarianism, despite having initiated the methodical destruction of Iraq and Afghanistan in midst of rhetoric claiming they were liberating and taking freedom to an oppressive people.

M: Dude! President Bush 41 and President Bush 43 did nothing to liberate and free the people of those two nations! Rather, they decimated the regions and kept running around in deliberate loopholes meant to perpetuate and postpone the death of terrorism.

D: Man! Isn’t it ugly how they lumped two differing nations like Iraq and Afghanistan together. Reminds me of how ethnocentric and ethno-sadist both father and son were as presidents 41 and 43. Remember how Barbara Bush used to single out Jeb’s family as tokens for their dynastic trashiness?   

M: Dude! You really have a mouthful to say about Barbara Bush’s cold and glaring remarks differentiating the racially diverse of her tribe from the status quo whiteness of the rest of her clan!

D: Man! Did you know that the bee population is declining rapidly?

M: Dude! Really?

D: Man! Scientists think that the decline will lead to less and less pollination and subsequent flora!

M: Dude! Things are not looking at all okay for Planet Earth under the devices of the Congressional Republicans!

D: Man! Did you know that the decrease in the bee population means that fewer and fewer bees will have to pollinate more and more flora? And, get this, if that holds true and the decline in bee population continues, then the quality of the flora will be decreased as well. It’s got something to do with the exclusivity and semi-monogamous patterns of pollination that the bees practice when in droves.

M: Dude! That is unfortunate! I may not be able to experience the exact same phenomena next year when springtime is here once again! These photographs are evidence of this unnecessary tragedy.

D: Man! What loss! Such sadness! 

Man! Dude! Session #173

(M)an: Dude! Gladiolas only bloom in May and June. I have yet to see their presence in the month of July!

(D)ude: Man! You’re referencing to what I said yesterday about the Faux News men snooping in Bill O’Reilly’s gladiolas. Well, I left an important point out: Bill O’Reilly plants plastic gladiolas from the Dollar Store. He evidently enjoys visiting the Dollar Store and purchasing the brand new toothpaste and bulk toothbrushes that are also brand names. 

M: Dude! Bill O’Reilly is trying to perpetuate the message that Trayvon Martin was wearing a questionable hooded sweatshirt that made him come across as menacing to his killer George Zimmerman, but I have a totally different image of the 17-year-old. I believe Trayvon was a shy teenager and very aware of his unfair disadvantage in the neighborhood he was walking through that night when he was shot. Trayvon Martin was a timid and innocent teen that was unfortunate to have a thug like George Zimmerman pursue him on foot.

D: Man! You think Trayvon Martin may have felt outnumbered because of the abruptness with which George Zimmerman pursued him?

M: Dude! Trayvon Martin probably went into sudden shock when Zimmerman got out of his truck and targeted his shotgun at the unarmed teen!

D: Man! We need judges who have the gusto to apply federal laws to override these state laws like Stand Your Ground in Florida.

M: Dude! Never judge a person by their attire and ethnicity. These are fundamentals that clearly are being compromised by states favoring laws such as Stand Your Ground.

D: Man! Huma Abedin has to endure such psychological pain as she is choosing to stand by her husband Anthony Weiner. I am very concerned about her throwing in the towel on herself before she ever gets around to gathering the strength to see Anthony Weiner as the sexual predator that he is becoming.

M: Dude! I heard about the dopamine connection and how Anthony Weiner is probably seeking out higher and higher highs, hence the more and more explicitness in his texting improprieties. But I don’t buy it either. I rather make sure that Huma Abedin is healthy and happy and know she can walk out of the hellishness presented to her by her husband.

D: Man! The problem with Huma Abedin is her strength as a loyalist and compassionate. But I think she is probably entitled to a lot better than what Anthony Weiner has to offer: Did you notice how he had not bothered informing Huma about his recent sexually explicit texting at that press conference?

M: Dude! Anthony Weiner is a too out of line to be forgiven by Huma Abedin. He has seriously crossed over into the unforgiveable since not informing her of his current messaging to yet another woman in her early twenties. Perversion is inexcusable and Huma has a toddler son to consider into the big picture. I firmly believe that Anthony Weiner has betrayed Huma Abedin to the extent that she ought to demand him moving out and providing financial contributions to their son.

D: Man! Hillary Rodham Clinton once shared how Huma was like family to her and how much she depended on Abedin, who has been her aide since 1996. Certainly, Hillary can surely ascertain the calamitous end if Huma Abedin has to stand by Anthony Weiner, a man who cannot bring himself to confess his recent indecencies to her before the press conference during which he just stood there like a dictator expecting Huma Abedin to address their lives to the buzzards.

M: Dude! The press is acting out like buzzards! They clearly do not see the high levels of stress and distress in Huma Abedin’s facial expressions and nervous laughter, which makes me wonder about her fate daily with a man as sick as Anthony Weiner.

D: Man! Huma Abedin needs to remember that Bill Clinton at least tried to remain discreet for the sake of his child. But the ways in which Anthony Weiner is broadcasting his sexually explicit extracurricular misbehavior, it’s going to be really difficult for Huma Abedin to present her husband in positive terms for their growing son.

M: Dude! Maybe it’s time for Huma Abedin to choose the man in her life: Her beloved and currently beamingly happy toddler son.

D: Man! I agree! Children pick up on the emotional wattage in the home between their parents and Huma Abedin and her son deserve a gentleman, not a rogue like Anthony Weiner.

M: Dude! Huma Abedin is fiercely loyal and deserves a significant other that will respect and return the love and loyalty she brings to relationships and friendships.

D: Man! She’s so young! Thirty-six! She still has time to start anew and afresh with a guy deserving of her presence and not some washed out pervert like Anthony Weiner.

M: Dude! Perversion brings corruption. Bill Clinton’s indiscretions cost him countless debates and taking thoughtful stands on the issues. Newt Gingrich and Ken Starr were able to get their ways and enforce their stand on the major problems facing the United States of America because they had Clinton in a headlock essentially.

D: Man! Democratic Party leadership hath better take another look. It’s all right if Mark Sanford advances to the House of Representatives, he’s a South Carolina Republican. But Eliot Spitzer and Anthony Weiner will cave to the GOP Republicans as Comptroller of New York and Mayor of New York City.

M: Dude! We’re talking about a Democratic stronghold when we talk about New York and New York City, and we cannot pollute a prime Democratic stronghold as these two by placing Eliot Spitzer and Anthony Weiner in charge of the daily go-on and whatnot. Actually, there will be a lot of whatnot if Eliot Spitzer is chosen to be essentially the official auditor and funds guy and Anthony Weiner to run a city that was decimated under the calculated moves of the likes of Giuliani and George W. Bush.

D: Man! There is a covert operation going on to bring in an influx of Bill Clintons and other skirt-chasers into the Democratic Party by the Republican GOP. It’s going to be difficult defending opposition to rednecks like Rand Paul and Ted Cruz if we place such indecent detonators of American Democracy like Anthony Weiner and Eliot Spitzer.

M: Dude! Perversion brings corruption. 

Man! Dude! Session #172

(D)ude: Man! The newborn unnamed prince is quite the butternut. Well, probably more spaghetti squash-like than the kind I just mentioned then.

(M)an: Dude! What’s the matter with you? Comparing the royal heir to winter squash is very unmannerly.

D: Man! Tell me what to do with my time away from the computer!

M: Dude! It’s right there!

D: Man! It’s presence lacks relevance!

M: Dude! What?

D: Man! My twitter account was downed a couple weeks ago and now my account has been subjected to probationary status. Can you believe that they actually had me verify if I were human?

M: Dude! Don’t take it personally. Computers sometimes can be made to automatically take over the actions for a standing account.

D: Man! Mine was not standing. It has been deflated.

M: Dude! What?

D: Man! I cannot tweet the way I could just two days ago!

M: Dude! So what’s exactly the situation in terms of number of tweets you have posted?

D: Man! I only tweeted six times yesterday! And I had to close and reopen my account every single time in order to resist the automated locks set in place.

M: Dude! Why the automated locks? It’s not like you’re sending over two hundred tweets daily or nightly!

D: Man! Two hundred and fifty has been my minimum, day or night.

M: Dude! No wonder you managed to get yourself on twitter probation! I know you cannot possibly be interested in two hundred and fifty everyday people.

D: Man! Everyday people? Nah. You’re right, they’re of no interest to me on Twitter. However, celebrity accounts are quite interestingly entertaining!

M: Dude! You haven’t been forwarding political offshoots from your daily blusters?

D: Man! You know I have not inhaled anything illicit since that trip through the Canadian frontier.

M: Dude! How many times do I have to remind you that what you inhaled throughout that trip to Canada was nothing but vapor rub applied to your chest to soothe your dogged coughs.

D: Man! Who applied that vapor rub? Please don’t answer if it was Uncle Gary! Because if it was he, I am absolutely certain he gave me some cigar smoke to inhale as well as the vapor rub.   

M: Dude! You’re right about Uncle Gary. But remember that Aunt Wren got him to surrender not just his cigar box but tobacco spittoon as well.

D: Man! Bless Aunt Wren! I am certain if she had lived to see this day’s news events, she’d be preparing a list of recommendable names for Prince William and Duchess Kate’s baby boy while endlessly stirring frantically her vanilla mousse. She probably would have insisted that Duchess Kate abandon the vegetable curries she consumed throughout her pregnancy.

M: Dude! No wonder! You’re hung up over the vegetable curries, hence the references paralleling the royal newborn with winter squash.

D: Man! What about my probationary status with Twitter?

M: Dude! From what I’ve figured out, you’re lucky you haven’t been held accountable for polluting Twitter with those daily stats! Two hundred and fifty! Why?

D: Man! I was committing Twitter pollution? What about the back and forth between the Faux News Channel’s arrays of rotting cabbages?

M: Dude! Glenn Beck and Geraldo Rivera are grossly misunderstood if they cannot see the sickliness they espouse. I am surprised that the two prepossessed hussies haven’t been downed from Twitter!

D: Man! They’re so yesterday! They were actually so impressed with themselves and each other that they got together with Rush Limbaugh and Allen West and spent this past weekend ensconced in Bill O’Reilly’s gladiolas in order to catch a glimpse of Sean Hannity preparing beet greens and turnips.  

M: Dude! No wonder they’re so bouncy in their chairs at Faux News! There is some serious fermenting going on in their guts!

D: Man! I did not say legumes, did I?

M: Dude! No, you did not.

D: Man! Yeah! I remember saying beet greens and turnips!

M: Dude! Rush Limbaugh, Allen West, Bill O’Reilly, Sean Hannity, Geraldo Rivera, and Glenn Beck are comprised of pods, bulbs, roots, and guano.

D: Man! Don’t mix those imbeciles with pods, bulbs, and roots! Guano? That’s the truth within these self-proclaimed men. Actually, I couldn’t have reiterated anything better than that myself.

M: Dude! Can I see what you have tweeted thus far? Or, reworded and reworked like so that I am concluding that you’ve just retrieved your tail inwards like the puppy I trained in the fourth grade. Remember?

D: Man! The one that refused to fuss and just plopped down onto the grass and looked far out in the distance like he could not hear my commands!

Man! Dude! Session #171

(M)an: Dude! It’s been nine months since Hurricane Sandy’s maddening magnitude destroyed homes and businesses and the lives of countless.

(D)ude: Man! This is incredible! I was just trying to figure out how the Windfall Elimination Provision, or WEP, would affect my social security benefit!

M: Dude! If you have been on the job twenty years or less, than that WEP reduction is limited to one-half your pension from work not covered by Social Security.

D: Man! This is getting to be a little too mathematical! It’s time to start obfuscating pensioners in major cities across the United States the way the Michigan GOP is doing in Detroit at the moment.

M: Dude! Governor Chris Christie of New Jersey is really depending heavily on the private sector for rebuilding places like Union Beach, New Jersey. Husband Bobby and wife Pamela Vazquez decided to ride out the storm and survived the behemoth. But right afterwards, their personal home insurance company bailed out on them, stating that they only covered wind damage and that the couple’s house sustained damage by flooding, therefore their claim was denied coverage. 

D: Man! What about FEMA?

M: Dude! The Federal Emergency Management Agency also denied them coverage on a technicality: Since the couple was paying mortgage to Pamela’s father, FEMA declared the property not theirs, but Pamela’s father’s second residence, therefore denying financial aide.

D: Man! Technicalities are so Republican! And I clearly remember Chris Christie reiterating how he would facilitate investigations into the insurance coverage needs of the victims and their families, including working alongside FEMA to rev up the momentum and get everybody resituated. And since then, Governor Christie has hung out with David Letterman and Prince Harry.

M: Dude! The royal heir is anything but diminutive and teensy-weensy! He’s quite bequeathed with immensity: A whopping 8 pounds and 6 ounces!

D: Man! Many happy returns of the day to Catherine and William!

M: Dude! You really woke up on the side of the unabashed sunrise this morning!

D: Man! Did you know that I actually had to take a sprint around the block just to get Kevyn Orr and Michigan Governor Rick Snyder sorted out in my mind?

M: Dude! So what point were you trying to make with the Windfall Elimination Provision or WEP?

D: Man! I was reading Solutions: The Woman’s Crisis Handbook by Lauren Hartman, and came across some insights that I had never pondered. They probably have a crisis handbook for men, but I like this particular book by Lauren Hartman.

M: Dude! It was published in 1997! At least get the updated version, it’s been sixteen years since my mother gifted it! I think she’ll understand the upgrade!

D: Man! I am very disappointed by your apparent lack of reprising my detailing skills. Look closely at the elaborate notes I’ve taken alongside the margins. Impressed?

M: Dude! This chicken scratch is actually discernable?

D: Man! It’s my chicken scratch! Of course it is discernable!

M: Dude! Tell me what this line says! What’s the matter? Cannot figure it out?

D: Man! I would have to read the paragraph in order to truly appreciate that particular insight I have written there.

M: Dude! Seriously?

D: Man! It was an impassioned read for me! Did you know that there is a federal law that forbids debt collectors from deceptive practices? It’s right here: The FDCPA.

M: Dude! The Fair Debt Collection Practices Act! It’s so clearly spelled out in the running main text!

D: Man! There should be The Fair Collateral Practices Act of 2013 in the wake of this Republican Cheaters Expressway in Michigan. You know, if President Obama were to take from the Social Security Administration the way George W. remained disengaged from the welfare of the American people, there would not be an issue pending in Detroit, Michigan. Our sons and daughters in uniform would be reengaged in furthering warfronts. The terrorists who escaped the Iraqi prison system today probably have roots in the Bush Dynastic Offensives.

M: Dude! Bobby and Pamela finally received a bare $32,000 for pursuing FEMA and were placed in an army post where they can reside until this September. They also found solace in church activities through the kindness of Minister Carl Williamson.

D: Man! What has been the outcome with Minister Carl Williamson in their lives? Did they get 

baptized and now a part of Williamson’s parish?

M: Dude! They did get baptized and are part of the parish, but I don’t agree at all with your sarcastic undertone. Remember that Martin Luther King, Jr. actually labored away in his study for 15 hours and more in order to bring the world those sermons of that indestructibility that still is present when we stand up and cry for civil rights.

D: I’m sorry. I did not mean to demean or demolish the humanity within me as I did.

M: Dude! So what’s the situation with Detroit’s Emergency Manager Kevyn Orr?

D: Man! He’s adamant that his and Governor Snyder’s take on the troubles is irrefutable. That federal bankruptcy laws are only applicable to this case and that they supersede the state’s constitution, Kevyn Orr is essentially making an argument in clear contrast to the way the states have been declaring state mandates on abortions superseding Roe versus Wade.

M: Dude! The Republican Party is rampaging with the lives of pensioners- that include folks like police officers and fire fighters- whose livelihoods they want to slash with this double-edged sword that swings in one direction and kills essential components of democracy and then swings the other way and kills essential components of common decency.

D: Man! Do you think the Republican state legislatures have essentially been pocketing the pensions that pensioners are scheduled to receive in a future that is coming nearer and nearer?

M: Dude! Speculate for the worse with the Republicans and thank heavens for the Democratic White House think tanks. And the move to confront the filibustering Republicans made by Senator Harry Reid. Maybe Elizabeth Warren can figure out a branch in the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau to combat what happened to Bobby and Pamela of Union Beach, New Jersey, and pensioners like the ones in Detroit and beyond that are being told they will be facing a severance of the severest sort, despite having worked their entire lives for moments like retirement, reflection, and remembrances.