Man! Dude! Session #124

(D)ude: Man! The sequestration is in effect and it’s Primero de Marzo and the Republican Party is hammering away at placing the blame on the Obama Administration. But isn’t the sequestration what the Republican Party wants?

(M)an: Dude! My father is the Tea Party Republican in my parents’ marriage. My mother? Hmm… She is a victim of multiple abuses that cannot be practically covered and expose my father’s decision to construct their home as a toppling house of cards.

D: Man! What happened? Are your parents going to make it?

M: Dude! Of course they will! But the damage set in is insurmountable and permanent. Guys like my father favor their own families of origins in middle and late life. Forget the fact that my father severed ties with his parents and siblings and ran off to the metropolis at seventeen.

D: Man! It’s like how House Speaker John Boehner cannot control his caucus, huh?

M: Dude! My father favors his relentlessly conniving younger sisters and their daughters and sons despite the fact that these family members holiday back and forth between the northeast coast and the southern region.

D: Man! They can actually afford traveling nonstop to and from those regions?

M: Dude! We’re working our britches off at the construction site and the hardware store, whilst my father waltzes and dines periodically with family and friends who have ripped off my mother’s ideas and creative ventures.

D: Man! I remember! Aren’t these the relatives who copied your mother’s wedding dress design item-by-item and then had the tenacity to ask her for a detailed opinion that later became another sister’s wedding gown, and, later, the start of a wedding boutique?

M: Dude! Talking about Tea Party marriages, even Tom Cruise booted Katie Holmes out of their family homes by deciding to allow his sisters and their bully kids into their residences. I believe the brash bunch of outsiders disciplined Suri Cruise unnecessarily.

D: Man! Why don’t men like Tom Cruise just provide a home apart from his own family to relatives?

M: Dude! Tea Party Husbands like the high drama and the resulting wreckage to their own wives and children so that they can come across as the sane and the humanitarian.

D: Man! Sounds more like selfish heroics on the part of the animalistic husbandry.

M: Dude! My mother is entangled in this injustice still and my college-educated sister and brother-in-law live next door for the purposes of providing a voice to our voiceless mum. Hence, the sense of humor and the sense of purpose that exudes from her despite our pa’s Tea Partier mentality.

D: Man! I don’t understand why as Shirley MacLaine’s only child and daughter, Sachi Parker had to endure the financial abuses that her celebrated actress mum made her endure. But Shirley MacLaine is an excellent example of how the Tea Partier mentality is just as endearing in women as in men.

M: Dude! Sachi Parker’s best friend went as far as to summarize her impression of the terror that was Mum MacLaine being, “I’m glad she’s not my mother.”

D: Man! Sachi Parker’s memoir Lucky Me is a classic and classy look into the heart of a great soul… No, not Mum MacLaine, but Mum Sachi who is beautifully spirited and forever forgiving of the cruelties she battled with-and without-her mother.

M: Dude! Let’s pray that Shirley MacLaine will embrace her one and only child and the incredible grandchildren she has got to get to know in order to ascend to the necessary dimension of existing that will be a part of her departure from this present existence.

D: Man! Whatever! The underlining lesson for Shirley MacLaine to grasp before dying is to leave her purse in the most loving and forgiving hands she’ll ever encounter in her cosmic travels… Her daughter Sachi’s!

M: Dude! If my mum had turned on me and against me like Shirley MacLaine, I would be too broken up to even exercise the thought of becoming a parent myself.

D: Man! Sachi Parker is a great example of how good will and graciousness overcome all the odds your otherworldly mum threw at you like the actress Joan Crawford leaving behind nothing for her son and daughter, thus the alias “Mommy Dearest”…

M: Dude! Tea Party parenting is an awful way of bringing up a child, let alone the United States Economy. Why must parents like Ben Affleck indulge the National Inquirer by having his children on such a strict diet that one of them actually marked a bag of popcorn as belonging to her alone by affixing part of the package to her mouth momentarily?

D: Man! Children ought to be given a break! Gosh! Do you know how many people herald their parenting methods in Hollywood as commendable?

M: Dude! Everyone?

D: Man! Just about!

M: Dude! Sean Hannity chews pork rinds just as much as George H.W. #41 and George W. Bush #43.

D: Man! I’ve heard that Faux News reporters must chew pork rinds and yellow Nestle Laffy Taffy, apparently that’s the color of the stuff that spewed forth from Hannity’s mouth as he angrily addressed having his cholesterol levels spiked by Representative Keith Ellison’s remarks about his unprofessionalism.

M: Dude! The GOP is Grand Old Pork!

D: Man! When will the Grand Old Pork cease to multiply? The day that Bob Woodward and Chris Christie will be able to level the seesaw between their wishy-washiness as Tea Parry sweethearts and desire to indulge in the perks and privileges that go along with Grand Old Pork?

M: Dude! What about a day when Senator John McCain is sentenced into a banana tree and ordered to jump into a banana boat from the height of ridiculousness that he spatters alongside his killer Drew Peterson smile at Town Hall meetings?

D: Man! The level of ridiculousness that the Grand Old Pork has transcended with their indecency and disregard for US folks is enough to land them in Disneyland. Bob Woodward cannot get the Epcot place of wonder out of his mind, mentioning Mickey Mouse with just as much enthusiasm as he announces plans to write his next novella.

M: Dude! There used to be “Cops and Robbers”… However, “Cops and Caucus” is much more present-oriented, don’t you think?

D: Man! Milwaukee Police Chief Ed Flynn is going to be targeted by the Republican Caucus? I believe Senator Lindsey Graham ought to be questioned about voting “nay” to the Violence Against Women Act, the Disaster Relief Appropriations Act, the treaty ratification protecting the rights of persons with disabilities, the amendment to increase TRICARE coverage for autism, and the amendment meant to adequately address the need for sufficient number of civilian and contract services workforces.

M: Dude! Have you discovered Vote Smart dot org? I knew it!

D: Man! Know it! Project Vote Smart!