Man! Dude! Session #125

(M)an: Dude! Pakistani Ambassador to the United States Sherry Rehman was really hungry for that red velvet cake in front of her at the latest international talks she presided over on CSPAN!

(D)ude: Man! Sherry Rehman is Pakistani President Asif Ali Zardari’s mistress. It’s a complicated mess, you see, because Sherry Rehman was just a vehicle away from Benazir Bhutto’s when Benazir Bhutto was assassinated on December 27, 2007.

M: Dude! Talking about Pakistan, did you know that on March 11, 2013 Asif Ali Zardari plans to inaugurate the gas pipeline project scheduled between Iran and Pakistan? Zardari seriously thinks, like Mitt Romney, that no one in the international sphere knows of his ruthless cheating ways. Seriously, the Nobel Prize money that Malala Yousafzai were to win would be confiscated by the Zardari regime immediately.

D: Man! Doesn’t Zardari have enough already? I heard that Benazir Bhutto’s father sent her to Harvard University on the underground money that he made like his son-in-law is tugging out of people right now in Pakistan. And, seriously, why hasn’t the UK given Malala Yousafzai an invite to live safely there?

M: Dude! Mitt Romney seriously believes he is the President By Proxy! The entire fiasco over sequestration leads me to believe that the Republican Party is seriously disrespecting President Obama and thinking of itself as the controlling body of power by proxy.

D: Man! The style of abuse that the Republican Party is practicing with President Obama is like that Munchausen Syndrome By Proxy where children come into the hospital exhibiting symptoms that just don’t constitute a specific disease. Later, it is found out that the parent inflicted abuses upon the child purposely to have the attention of the medical community on themselves. And, to make it worse, the nurses and doctors are initially led to believe that the parent is really concerned for the child!

M: Dude! Look here at The House Republican Plan For America’s Job Creators!

D: Man! You forgot the subtitle… Empowering Families, Small Businesses and Entrepreneurs…. But what about the rest of US, huh? Paul Ryan cannot possibly believe that every fruit in our family trees and his can build a corporation, huh? You know, this GOP plan is filled with a lot of illustrations and photographs that are totally unnecessary. Does the Republican Party really think it can convince everybody, including working class folks like us, with such hogwash? They are Grand Old Pork!

M: Dude! They could have at least provided some of those charts that Paul Ryan manages to pull out from underneath tables and chairs whenever he is on news shows. That would be far more respectable than these overblown imageries and huge fonts. They are so inconsistent that I am certain that my middle school teachers would argue to hold back the creators of this pointless manifesto for at least two grade levels.

D: Man! The Communist Manifesto was far more sensible and balanced than The House Republican Plan For America’s Job Creators!

M: Dude! You forgot the subtitle… Empowering Families, Small Businesses and Entrepreneurs.

D: Man! Thanks for the reiteration. But like I said earlier, Munchausen Syndrome By Proxy is reprehensible. And abusers include not just the GOP, but Antonin Scalia on the Supreme Court. Although by the looks of Section 5 of the Voting Rights Act, it appears that Black Americans might lose all that they have fought for post-Civil Rights, in actuality the demographic that ought to be most concerned is Hispanic Americans.

M: Dude! Senator John McCain was caught in the act of straddling the fence between the traditional GOP and the Tea Party megalomaniacs at those now infamous town hall meetings where he knowingly reduced Hispanic Americans to folks who serve as babysitters and lawn maintenance workers for White Americans like himself and Cindy McCain. I really wish those historic pieces of degradation could be replayed to Antonin Scalia after he had reduced the historic piece of legislation put into place after so many had given their blood, sweat, and all so that we could be the United States that we are today.

D: Man! I want there to continue to be a United States of America where the press corps cannot be bought and where it ought to be obvious that the Republicans are trying to create such a mess as to divert President Obama’s attention from the Keystone XL Pipeline that will basically trash not just the landscape of America, but trash its chief drinking water supplies and wildlife. But with the BP Oil Spillages from not too long ago, I believe the reports indicating that TransCanada is already starting to negotiate the United States for thinner steel to build with in areas that are clearly prone to earthquakes are true.

M: Dude! And there are also reports that TransCanada wants to pump the thick bitumen through thinner pipelines AND at a faster rate than is reasonable. Reminds me when the BP oil disaster findings about the oil rig explosion and the oil gusher that flowed oil outwards for three continuous months was all entirely determined as having been human accidents.

D: Man! The Path To Prosperity Plan that Paul Ryan and John Boehner and Eric Cantor believe to be flawless and nonnegotiable, clearly spelled out how it would redesign Medicare into a voucher program and favored increasing the defense budget to the point of The Path To Posterity becoming defunct in times of war. That really concerns me! I think the GOP is still abiding by the Path To Prosperity written by Paul Ryan before President Obama’s reelection last November.

M: Dude! Representative Kay Granger of Texas District 12 is tooting support for the Paul Ryan Budget, which lacks statistical integrity. And I think Texas Representative Jeb Hensarling of District 5 is the architect of the sequestration that took effect on Friday. Although the GOP website has penned it the “Obamaquester”, Jeb Hensarling is the guy to credit.

D: Man! The layoffs and the furloughs are all his imagining and doing?

M: Dude! The Republican Party put the sequestration into place because they trusted Karl Rove and Grover Norquist with vulgar amounts of money to put into play voter suppression tactics and other cheating mechanisms that would make Mitt Romney win the presidency. But the whole scam plummeted and Karl Rove and Grover Norquist skipped town with the entire stash of billions, maybe trillions.

D: Man! What can we do?

M: Dude! The American Press Corps needs to add faces to the sequestration, state-by-state. The GOP Tea Party Republican hodgepodge wanted what we got as a result of sequestration and the ball is in the states’ courts, and Texas Senators Ted Cruz and John Cornyn are tooting just as much for the Paul Ryan budget, which means we are in a loophole ourselves, surrounded by leaders we would never 

choose to legislate our lives. Thank goodness President Obama got reelected!

D: Man! Mitt Romney and Asif Ali Zardari share a lot in common. The Cayman Island bank accounts and meetings with fellow cheats at the Conservative Political Action Conference 2013 mirror the Pakistani president’s shady dealing with Iran. The CPAC 2013 is being held March 14, 15, and 16, conveniently after Zardari’s inaugurating the Pakistan-Iran gas line project. Who knows? Maybe the GOP is waiting to see what takes place between Iran and Pakistan before they begin their platform of bringing the Keystone XL Pipeline into the United States.