Thursday, October 17, 2013

Man! Dude! Session #222: Chris Christie's Jersey to Jerusalem Trade Mission


(D)ude: Man! Knock, knock.

(M)an: Dude! Who’s there?

D: Man! Darrel-cula.

M: Dude! Darrel-cula who?

D: Man! Darrel-cula Issan’t there a hearing to be had?

M: Dude! Darrel-cula Issan’t ashamed for being part of the Congressional Republicans?

D: Man! Caucus! Absolutely pure caucus! Knock, knock.

M: Dude! Are you going to keep that Transylvanian accent throughout? Who’s there?

D: Man! Chris.

M: Dude! Chris who?

D: Man! I’m Chris Christie and you better shut up and reelect me to the governorship of New Jersey this November 5, 2013!

M: Dude! You’re being quite abrasive, Chris Christie! And do not tell me to shut up!

D: Man! You poor yea-yeah-yeah! What’s the matter? Huh? You have to go home and put on some cracked heel cream on your feet and find yourself a soft pair of socks to place your feet in afterwards? Sissy puss has puss feet!

M: Dude! Hold on a second, Chris Christie! What were you doing with the State of New Jersey’s funds when you suddenly felt compelled to take a business trip to Israel and visit with Jordan’s King Abdullah II?

D: Man! America should stand by its friends and its democratic allies, even, and sometimes especially, when it’s unpopular to do so. It may not be fashionable in some of the chancelleries, the foreign ministries, and salons around the world to talk about why America stands with Israel — but that’s no excuse not to be saying, and saying it loudly, I admire Israel for the enemies it has made.
M: Dude! Wait a minute, Chris Christie! You admire Israel for the enemies it has made?

D: Man! Man! Man! Did you know that Chris Christie’s trip to Israel was laced with controversy because he deliberately chose not to visit Palestine with his delegation of business and religious leaders and, of course, his family?
M: Dude! The Republican Jewish Coalition, or RJC, co-sponsored Chris Christie’s trip, which was signed off as an official overseas trip, hence paid in part by New Jersey taxpayers, billed quote unquote Jersey to Jerusalem Trade Mission. Did you know that Sheldon G. Adelson is Chairman of the Board of Directors at the Republican Jewish Coalition?
D: Man! A lot of trouble and mayhem could descend upon Israel and especially Palestine if billionaires such as Sheldon G. Adelson are backing folks like Chris Christie and have Rick Perry’s photograph displayed on their website link for the Republican Jewish Coalition’s National Women’s Committee.

M: Dude! There are not too many degrees of separation between Chris Christie and other major GOP players like Texas Governor Rick Perry and Senator Pat Roberts of Kansas, both states having altogether disenfranchised women, minorities, and the working and middle classes. And look at the horrendous effects of the GOP’s horrifying agenda and brutal playbook on the most vulnerable, the poor and their children.  

D: Man! Representative Paul Ryan is still pushing the horrendous Paul Ryan Budget as are both Texas Senators Cornyn and Cruz, the later two having voted against the joint congressional resolution last night by the way. What does the GOP want and when exactly did the light go out behind the eyes of the status quo?

M: Dude! Ronald Reagan’s eyes never reflected light, only a selfishness that has gradually gotten US into tremendously tough times of chaos. Have you heard of the drug krokodil?

D: Man! What?

M: Dude! Krokodil is a flesh-eating drug whose side effects have surfaced on the streets in the United States. Most likely imported by a carrier from the Russian and/or Eastern European regions, it is an addictive drug that is basically a derivative of and ten times more powerful than morphine.

D: Man! Even more reason to implement Obamacare! At least 30 million presently uninsured Americans will finally be able to have their addictions addressed thoroughly and properly without the fear of being dropped due to limits on the length of treatment and therapy. Do you think the Tea Partiers and the GOP Republicans encouraged and brought over the drug krokodil just in time to cause yet another havoc on the streets of the United States and in the country’s hospitals?

M: Dude! That is unfathomable evil if that be the case that is.

D: Man! If that be the case that is.

M: Dude! Talking about the GOP Republican Tea Partiers, there is beginning to surface some unbelievable untruths about that which could save an overwhelming number of lives and that is Obamacare.

D: Man! What do you think the Ted Cruz and SarahPAC will be vandalizing next? The online registration mechanics involved in signing up for Obamacare? Do you think that there will be talk about protecting Americans from buying twice the coverage that they need? That’s ridiculous overreaching, 
but Palin and Cruz are capable of such bunk.

M: Dude! Yes. We must debunk the bunk!

D: Man! That is unfathomable evil if that be the case that is.

M: Dude! If that be the case that is.

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