Man! Dude! Session #174

(D)ude: Man! Forget the Canadian frontiers! Tar-sands oil spills have Alberta, Canada just soaking in toxic waste from such explainable natural disasters throughout the length of what could be the Keystone Pipeline XL jugging beneath the ground of our aquifers and natural habitats that are already scarce if not nonexistent!

(M)an: Dude! Arkansas suburbs are suffering because of oil leaks gushing up from the ground and polluting the streets where children used to play. Actually, the houses are typical idyllic suburban styled, like my brother’s place near Arlington, Texas.

D: Man! Where are your photographs of the depleting of earth vegetation?

M: Dude! The ones I constructed with my paternal grandfather’s iMac, iPad3, Apple TV, and iWeb applications? Let’s see… I think I can retrieve them from your laptop.

D: Man! But my laptop’s dated! It is so May 2001! How many years ago was that? Twelve! Wow!

M: Dude! Just hand me that dated piece of equipment and I’ll retrieve the photographs from my Google Mail account. I think I forwarded them to several friends and relatives. They’re really are a sad reality in that the flora just isn’t as delicate and bright and diverse as it used to be. Remember when the roses were multi-petal extravaganzas?  

D: Man! You’re making me cry! Those roses haven’t been blooming since high school! I think they actually had to shut down the botanic gardens in order to pluck out the luscious masterpieces and replace every intricacy with a rugged alternative. It is devastating! The Republican GOP does not understand that placing the Environmental Protection Agency on the chopping block will only exacerbate the terrain of this rapidly depleting beauty we call earth?

M: Dude! And they want to go to Mars! Give the Republican GOP leaders the votes in the midterms and we will have certainly killed Planet Earth. Have you seen the latest pictures from Mars?

D: Man! Yeah! If the Republican Party wins control of Congress yet once again this fall and the 2014 midterms, we can basically expect our Planet Earth to deteriorate to the exact barrenness as Mars!

M: Dude! That is the hard truth! And President Obama is already trying to do so much so that Planet Earth does not degrade into yet another inhabitable red desert.

D: Man! I’m scared! Do you think the photographs you took in honor of our hero and innovator of these kinds of artworks, Steve Jobs, will get through to the purposeful mindlessness that the Tea Party and the Republican GOP hold onto to in order to make humanity suffer so that they can loot the treasury and the military and all infrastructures?

M: Dude! Where is the defunding of the EPA going to go? I think the Republican leadership is going to try to pocket the savings in this insane obstructionist boggle.

D: Man! We can still replenish the flora and rehabilitate Planet Earth!

M: Dude! Certainly! President Obama has blueprints to possible solutions, but the Congressional Republicans prefer to annihilate the natural world. They want to troll in the air in private jets, forgetting that their policies of across the board inaction will only perpetuate environmental damages.  

D: Man! They laugh at the EPA and the Obama Administration’s proactive stances, but the Republican Party is so loggerheaded that I don’t think they deserve to be reelected into political clout and power.

M: Dude! They will deservedly lose the midterms if they continue to spend more time vacationing than addressing the issues that are affecting so many of US!

D: Man! Did you hear that Governor Bob McDonnell has chosen to take a trip to Afghanistan in midst of corruption charges? Yeah, he is prancing around our uniformed sons and daughters like a hero, much the same way Bushes 41 and 43 have recaptured the national spotlight for their humanitarianism, despite having initiated the methodical destruction of Iraq and Afghanistan in midst of rhetoric claiming they were liberating and taking freedom to an oppressive people.

M: Dude! President Bush 41 and President Bush 43 did nothing to liberate and free the people of those two nations! Rather, they decimated the regions and kept running around in deliberate loopholes meant to perpetuate and postpone the death of terrorism.

D: Man! Isn’t it ugly how they lumped two differing nations like Iraq and Afghanistan together. Reminds me of how ethnocentric and ethno-sadist both father and son were as presidents 41 and 43. Remember how Barbara Bush used to single out Jeb’s family as tokens for their dynastic trashiness?   

M: Dude! You really have a mouthful to say about Barbara Bush’s cold and glaring remarks differentiating the racially diverse of her tribe from the status quo whiteness of the rest of her clan!

D: Man! Did you know that the bee population is declining rapidly?

M: Dude! Really?

D: Man! Scientists think that the decline will lead to less and less pollination and subsequent flora!

M: Dude! Things are not looking at all okay for Planet Earth under the devices of the Congressional Republicans!

D: Man! Did you know that the decrease in the bee population means that fewer and fewer bees will have to pollinate more and more flora? And, get this, if that holds true and the decline in bee population continues, then the quality of the flora will be decreased as well. It’s got something to do with the exclusivity and semi-monogamous patterns of pollination that the bees practice when in droves.

M: Dude! That is unfortunate! I may not be able to experience the exact same phenomena next year when springtime is here once again! These photographs are evidence of this unnecessary tragedy.

D: Man! What loss! Such sadness!