Man! Dude! Session #155

(M)an: Dude! Plaza Towers Elementary School’s kindergarteners and first through third graders might not have been evacuated in time!

(D)ude: Man! Your Aunt Lola lives in Moore, Oklahoma!

M: Dude! She’s okay, but her house has been destroyed and the latest is that Plaza Towers Elementary School had students clinging to the walls or their teachers as protective human shields against the horrendous storm.

D: Man! There had been tornado alerts in effect since last Tuesday. Did Aunt Lola take refuge somewhere else?

M: Dude! Apparently, she has been staying with friends elsewhere. But that’s after having learned in the most unfathomable way what severe wreckage results when you’re in the eye of the storm: Aunt Lola and four others survived the harrowing 1999 tornado touchdown because of the presence of a five thousand dollar storm shelter that her friends at that time had constructed underneath their home.

D: Man! That’s smart thinking! I am very disappointed in Google right now. With all the technology they have amassed and those Google glasses coming to a select few sooner and the rest of a select group of society later, you would think they’d come up with a motion sensor device that would be available free to all precincts and fire departments around the world.

M: Dude! I’m upset with Google Glasses too! How many lives could be saved if the harrowing efforts of the first responders and volunteers right this minute could be better enhanced for far more efficient rescuing via technology?

D: Man! There should be a device and mechanism to detect survivors in rubbles who are crying their last breaths in Moore, Oklahoman remains as we probably speak!

M: Dude! The GOP is probably relishing in the disaster as it is unfolding, thinking they can link President Obama to what is unfolding across the Great Plains region of the United States. Oklahoman Governor Mary Fallin and New Jersey Governor Chris Christie are the worst people to handle such crises, as we saw with Hurricane Sandy, Republicans who are just invested in their personal welfare, and crooning away about being able to balance their states’ budgets.

D: Man! Isn’t that something? Balancing state budgets annually is a must for every governor!

M: Dude! The public schools of Oklahoma should have been equipped with fully functioning storm shelters underground on then-Republican Governor Frank Keating’s watch before the 1999 storm hit.

D: Man! The Republican Party is against any ounce of preventative measures and does not care! They pride themselves as conservatives, but I see the present-day Republican Party as criminally filibustering on issues that forsake our fellow Americans’ lives.

M: Dude! The Oklahoman legislators should be ashamed for not bunkering their public schools at least no later than after the 1999 twister!

D: Man! If the United States Congress is choosing actively to not fund environmentally oriented investments in energy advancements and not accepting the fact that humanity’s primarily responsible for the climate changes that have started unraveling faster and faster as the years progress, at least they can equip Americans in harm’s way.

M: Dude! Even Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu’s Israel is equipped with proper bunkers underneath buildings inside neighborhoods that are targeted relentlessly by air attacks.

D: Man! That’s something to consider, indeed!

M: Dude! John Boehner and Eric Cantor are going to join the Republican carolers soon to amass a media storm over their argument that states be given the right of way to solve their problems independent of the federal government. 

D: Man! Eric Cantor and Paul Ryan love to chime on and on about the private sector’s charities being given the chance to become the sole providers for relief of the electorate’s sufferings.

M: Dude! Job creators must have their monies protected at all costs, including the lives of constituents! That’s the underlying basis for the self-described arrogant Paul Ryan.

D: Man! Paul Ryan thinks that way about the Obama Administration, not himself!

M: Dude! Republican Party kooks like Paul Ryan and Michelle Bachman are quite revelatory about their undemocratic selfish principles.

D: Man! So when Paul Ryan called the Obama Administration arrogant, it was just a hiccup that just leapt inversely from his mouth?

M: Dude! Yeah! And all of the Minnesotan constituents in Michelle Bachman’s congressional district 6 are totally unaware of her tendency to hiccup pretended concerns of theirs to the media in Washington, DC, like impeaching the president and simmering a Glen Echo Country Club’s Minnesota Wild Rice Soup or baking a Minnesota Blueberry Dump Cake.

D: Man! I think Michelle Bachman is wild and dumpy like her Republican colleagues. They have this inherent wild and dumpy stare. It’s like looking right inside a void of pure self-indulgent flagitiousness. They particularly like to hear themselves as impassioned patriots on the House Floor, although there is absolutely nonsense spewing forth, like Faux News is the only television news channel in the world and the GOP squealers will have their voices muted out and replaced by commentary from Sean Hannity et al.

M: Dude! John Dorothy Boehner and Eric Toto Cantor are going to be making decisions that will be anything but conducive, deliberately and criminally obstructionist as always. They will find another Heritage Foundation study and whine about projections of doom and finding some conclusiveness via Jim DeMint that having victims of storms watch The Wizard of Oz is very conducive to rebuilding lives, as Paul Ryan has just submitted such a thesis with Harvard University’s Graduate School of Arts and Sciences.