"There haven't been many politicians in the past who have campaigned on love..."

(D)ude: Man! Warren Buffett doesn’t think there’s any difference between Hillary Rodham Clinton and Donald Trump becoming the next President of the United States! He told Berkshire and Hathaway’s shareholders that he and they would be just fine if either Clinton or Trump took the position as the 45^th Commander in Chief on Friday, January 20, 2017. I went out in middle of Nowhere, Texas and Somewhere, Texas this past weekend and was serviced by a dog-handling fast food employee at the drive-thru of the only McDonald’s in town, and then when I was coming back after a long hard day of Klu Klutz Klannish Texas Occidental Franchise University students and faculty and staff I was served chicken nuggets that had fallen on the money counter at the only Dairy Queen in town. And get this, when I went to the lone Sonic drive-in restaurant, and was served what was clearly a stale strawberry shake, the manager came out and apologized and gave me a replacement stating very confidently that they regularly cleaned their ice cream and shake machines- every six months!  

(M)an: Dude! Yuck! Isn’t Dairy Queen owned by Warren Buffett’s company Berkshire and Hathaway?

D: Man! Yea-up! Warren Buffett must teach Hillary Rodham Clinton how to differentiate herself from the Republican Party contenders Donald Trump, Ted Cruz, and John Kasich! Buffett has already given Clinton money, might as well give some advice. 

M: Dude! I’ve been having nightmares about all four!

D: Man! Me too! I dreamt that Hugh and Dorothy Rodham disowned their daughter Hillary from up above! Hugh Rodham addressed his daughter as such, “I was a good Republican all my life, and now you’ve brought US to this!” Dorothy declared, “I gave birth to a lovely lady, but she’s a teabag now! In every and any condition, your father and I never worshipped money, so how is it then that our beautiful daughter became enslaved to wealth and her ‘better than thou’ attitude towards everyday voters? You weren’t like this when I died!”

M: Dude! When did Dorothy Rodham pass away?

D: Man! November 2011, after the 2010 Citizens United decision by the Supreme Court of the United States of America. You see, the whole landscape of the elections process in the United States changed after that. Citizens United 2010 led to the proliferation of Republicans going abroad and screwing American foreign policy and then returning home to molest American domestic policy. There is dark money that leads to the dark internet that leads to the dark acts of violence across the world map.   

M: Dude! Bill Maher already made that last link you just shared, after the Republican defraud and accost cycle. The part about the dark money, that’s what Bill Maher said the last time author Johann Hari visited his show on HBO. Johann Hari should appear on television often. He has the uncanny ability to talk without needing a script. He could easily rival all the late night talk show hosts. Actually, the other late night-ers are bowling pins trembling with anxiety night after night about this billionaire bitch-fest that led to their careers in the first place. Billionaires like the ones at Comcast who have bought DreamWorks from the billionaires over there.   

D: Man! Over where? Wasn’t DreamWorks founded by SKG or SRK?

M: Dude! SKG! Spielberg, Katzenberg, Geffen, not Shah Rukh Khan! You’re really newfangled and nonplussed!

D: Man! I understand the part about being all contemporary, but I really never really liked subtraction and long division. I’m guessing I’m more pluses than nonplussed.

M: Dude! Go and share that insight with Warren Buffett! I challenge you to go onto his twitter account and give him a hell of a time about pluses!

D: Man! Helluva! You know who’s giving America a helluva mess right now and needing to be addressed by both Bernie Sanders and Hillary Clinton? Senator from Texas Ted Cruz! Cruz is easing into this presidential election cycle very comfortably and craftily, a George Walker Bush favorite since he helped construct the legal team responsible for Bush 43’s winning the White House as a result of the Florida recounts in the 2000 presidential election. Keeping in mind Ted Cruz on the Republican end has spent the most money in this campaign thus far, I would ask Hillary Rodham Clinton and Bernie Sanders to focus on the Ted Cruz and Carly Fiorina ticket just as much as Donald Trump’s frugality.

M: Dude! There’s a State Senator in Virginia right now by the name of Dick Black who is already a Cruz Delegate from Virginia, having co-chaired Ted Cruz’s presidential run before resigning that position to go to Syria this past weekend to praise Assad and find peace because as he told the press in the United States before his departure, “I will be Syria’s voice.”

D: Man! American voters need to wake up and feel the Bern and vote for the Democratic ticket! And Hillary Rodham Clinton must reform because she too is coming across as a Leona Helmsley caricature as are Donald Trump and Ted Cruz and Carly Fiorina and John Kasich.

M: Dude! This is certainly the year of the billionaire classers! Bitch-fest ’16! Let’s see who we’ve got… Koch and Adelson and Koch and Adelson and Koch and Adelson… Comcast!

D: Man! In all due fairness, MSNBC did show the crowds lined up hours before Bernie Sanders was to speak in Fort Wayne, Indiana today, and a female voter said something that stood out like a bright meteor shower they say one should plan to watch at least once in a lifetime. This female supporter of Bernie Sanders and her family and friends, some of whom—if not all— had been in line since 8am. It was 10:37am and Jose Diaz Balart was anchoring from the studio, by the time Chris Jansing got to this particular revolutionary to ask about the scheduled event and icon. The revolutionary youth spoke beautifully, “The chances of him winning are highly unlikely but I feel that his ideals could be inspiring for future political generations to come and carry on his message. There haven’t been many politicians in the past who have campaigned based on love as opposed to large corporations. And he has more interests in the needs of everyone as opposed to a select few.”