We Voted For Chance!!

Man! Dude! Session #337

(M)an: Dude! Where are you going?

(D)ude: Man! My dad dropped off a comprehensive grocery list and generous funds in order for me to “make it special” and “a happy one.” And he meant Sunday, but I don’t know why he’s so anticipatorily requesting so much for mom specifically tomorrow.    

M: Dude! Tomorrow’s Mother’s Day! Yes! I just got back from Randall’s Tom Thumb Page grocery store and the traffic was congested.

D: Man! Are the traffic lights at the major intersections flashing red again and requiring people to await their turn and yield to at least three other jam-packed lanes before being able to go as far as the next stop-and-go flashing red traffic lights intersection exhibit?  

M: Dude! Ugh! It’s inevitable, given the fact that Tarrant County constituents tend to vote for and reelect Tarrant County GOP leaders in municipal elections. Remember to cast your ballot at our assigned polling place by tonight. Polls close at 7PM.    

D: Man! Today’s Election Day for Tarrant County! I forgot! Who are the candidates and which ones lean progressive and Democratic? And how do I get to that courthouse annex again?

M: Dude! Today’s Municipal Elections for Tarrant County, Texas are being held somewhere else for our district, a local church behind the hardware store that is nearer than the courthouse annex. 

D: Man! Why do the Tarrant County Tea Party Republicans make it so difficult? It’s not like I didn’t try to read up on the candidates listed on the websites of

- The League of Women Voters of Tarrant County,

- “e.thepeople” Citizen Guide,

- Fort Worth Independent School District,

- KERA News,

- The Texas Tribune and the Fort Worth Star Telegram newspapers,

- Lucy Burns Institute,

- Ballotpedia,

- City of Fort Worth, Texas,

- Tarrant County Election Administration,

- “access.tarrantcounty.com”

- alongside Google Searching all the Tarrant County candidates’ personal and campaign pages with lists of endorsements since I was unsure of the races appearing on our ballots.     

M: Dude! You forgot the Teabag Democrats within the Tarrant County Get Out The Vote Political Action Committee! They assisted me with finding a sample ballot for our precinct.

D: Man! Where? Just a sec! Let me get my iPad! You know, I really want to cast my ballot in today’s municipal elections. When I was searching the KERA News website for answers, I instead found the strength to continue my pursuit for answers when I came across Chance Hawkins, a heroic 10th grader at Paul Laurence Dunbar High School in Fort Worth who is pursuing his studies and will be graduating with the Class of 2017 despite the painful obstacles and physical exhaustion he endures as a result of having Duchenne muscular dystrophy, because of the school district’s hiring an extraordinarily devoted aide to assist Chance Hawkins with his day-to-day maneuverings and academics at school. Chance’s assistant, Edgar Ortiz, grew up with a sibling with the same condition as Chance’s that led him to eventually pursue a career in special education. Mr. Ortiz’s presence in the classroom by Chance’s side has torn down the social hesitations of the other students to where the teenagers now assist Chance in adjusting positions in his wheelchair without a second thought whenever Mr. Ortiz is momentarily away from his side. I want to know who I can elect to office in these municipal elections that will guarantee Chance’s reaching his high school graduation (he is receiving A’s and B’s with the patient tutelage of Mr. Ortiz) and championing his academic and professional pursuits well into the future.         

M: Dude! You mentioned the website in the list of contacts you inquired about today’s municipal elections. It is “access.tarrantcounty.com” and it could easily be more user-friendly in years to come. There is a link to a map where you can enter your first and last names to see if you are registered to vote and your exact election day polling location. I printed your info out as well as mine, but don’t forget to take your voter registration card and driver’s license. The folks in charge of overseeing the activities at our polling place examined my driver’s license as if I were an underage juvenile delinquent or a tween or teen trying to get past the bouncers at a downtown bar and grill.  

D: Man! Did that PAC of Teabag Democrats refer you to that website?

M: Dude! No. I actually was struggling with the website myself for some days and when I received a call from the Tarrant County Get Out The Vote PAC, I referred them to the website as well. The folks on the other line were very polite and upon my conveying interest in trying to figure out what a sample ballot from our precinct would look and which candidates would be listed, one of the voter assistants from that PAC actually began to Google Search for the answers I had already sought. Fortunately, I had not erased the history of websites I had visited on my iPad and ended up informing and educating that non-profit group myself.    

D: Man! How is this PAC comprised of Teabag Democrats?

M: Dude! As I was getting out of the car at the designated polling place, a guy from that particular PAC’s outfit Tarrant County Citizens’ Watch offered me this “Voter Guide” that excluded a candidate from one of the major categories altogether. The candidate that this group had not listed was Keith K. Annis, a supporter of the President of the United States Barack Obama and a strong opponent of the Keystone XL Pipeline.

D: Man! Was Keith K. Annis listed on the final ballot?

M: Dude! Of course! I selected him!

D: Man! Good! Good! The other candidates for the position of Tarrant Regional Water District include a dubious pair, Michele Von Luckner and Craig Bickley, who decry pork but back the Keystone XL Pipeline. Craig Bickley is a member of the Tarrant County GOP, his photographs on personal WebPages reveal him to be shamelessly attending gatherings by the group. 

M: Dude! Just how far-reaching a grocery list did your father draft?

D: Man! It’s self-serving. In fact, I know my mother is not keen on frozen desserts due to tooth sensitivity, let alone mangoes. She loves nothing more than a good laugh and this list will definitely have her doubling over in chuckles. He’s even requested four bags of navel oranges!     

M: Dude! Did your father request that frozen Belmont Mango Sorbet from Aldi? Orangely you amused? Aren’t you?

D: Man! Yeah! He’s also requested a Stonemill Essentials Steak Seasoning. Apparently, the last time he was in line at Aldi, a Randall’s Tom Thumb Page employee and he deliberated for the entire length of the line over steak preparation and the gentleman attested the deliciousness and convenience of this seasoning. You need not marinade the steak beforehand to savor it efficaciously.   

M: Dude! Wow! Doesn’t this gentleman’s place of employment have a spice rack with wider diversity in flavor?

D: Man! He informed my father that his place of employment no longer carried that particular seasoning.

M: Dude! Did your father request a deposition?

D: Man! No! There’s a money back guarantee on all the items returned at Aldi! You’re orangely amused and howling with laughter!

M: Dude! Evidently!