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Man! Dude! Session #297

(M)an: Dude! What happened to you? You look like David Bowie from his Ziggy Stardust era with that makeup on! Have you been watching tour documentaries again? David Bowie’s Five Years?

(D)ude: Man! Yeah. I only caught the first half hour, but got a great overview of David Bowie’s makeup palettes. Looked like colorful bottles of liquid paint that he was so accustomed to that he actually did the application with his own deft hands. Do I really look like him from the seventies?

M: Dude! So when did you go shopping for makeup? And why didn’t you just go to a costume shop and purchase circus face paints?

D: Man! Been there, done that over four years ago! I wanted to look like David Bowie, not a terrorizing clown out of a Stephen King novella. And you know how petrified I am of balloon animals and the buttery gooey saturate they pour atop your popcorn.

M: Dude! Balloon animals? Any particular kind? I always thought balloon animals were guaranteed innocuous. Does your Uncle Lionel figure into this phobia somehow?

D: Man! He used to sit on all the balloon creatures my Aunt Pauline crafted for me! And, much later in adolescence, I had a difficult time with acne and the image of a balloon animal, the turkey specifically, made me woozy and faint.   

M: Dude! Stop wrecking my childhood memories! Do you know how many times I’ve been asked to sculpt a balloon turkey hat for my nieces and nephews?

D: Man! I’m just having a trying Wednesday. I went to Walgreens and the woman behind me made selections from my shopping cart, throwing me off balance in regards to the coupon specificities that I had carefully followed in order to qualify for the almost twenty dollars worth of savings.  

M: Dude! Hold on! The woman in line behind you actually did some of her shopping out of your cart? Really?

D: Man! I don’t know, but I didn’t feel the inclination to correct or chide her whatsoever. Actually, I was curious as to what items from my shopping cart the woman selected. I guess I was playing God again. When was the last time I was taken by a God Complex? I think it was that time when a toddler mistook me for her father because I had also chosen to wear maroon penny loafers with khakis. 

M: Dude! What happened? Did the toddler cry?

D: Man! She was exasperated but did not cry. She looked me in the eyes as if to question me about the huge disservice I had put her through. Apparently, toddlers these days aren’t as gracious with their affectations as we were with our affections.

M: Dude! The William Wilberforce Trafficking Victims Protection Reauthorization Act of 2008 is strong indication of the Republican Tea GOP’s overall strategy of inaction and gridlock. Signed into law by President George Walker Bush, the Wilberforce Act advanced interagency measures in the American government to protect the trafficked, prosecute the trafficker, and prevent trafficking through updated research and investigative means to combat modern-day enslavement of countless across the globe.       

D: Man! The Wilberforce Act of 2008 and President George Walker Bush? Are you trying to basically convey the treachery of the Republican Tea GOP, particularly the Republican Tea GOP’s tendency to implement long-term solutions that they can revoke in the name of a national deficit or recession later on?

M: Dude! Precisely, George Walker Bush was so convinced that a Republican would win the White House in 2008 and again in 2012 that he signed the Wilberforce Act in 2008 as a means to calm the waters enough to allow the Republican Tea GOP to win over a diverse range of voters, before placing the Wilberforce Act, or TVPRA as it is also known, on the chopping block. That’s how the Republican Tea GOP operates. They take two steps forward and at least ten steps back in the end.  

D: Man! Ernesto “Che” Guevara’s journeying through South America as a medical student youth is vividly presented in his memoir The Motorcycle Diaries. However, it is heartbreaking to realize that Che Guevara honestly believed in a United Latin America that would be in partnership with the United States of America.     

M: Dude! It is even sadder knowing that a journey of such incredible distance cannot be experienced today without the unparalleled predatory surrounds turning against the traveler. Why do you think Che Guevara aligned with Fidel Castro? Fidel Castro turned into that very personality that he had fought for six years.

D: Man! It isn’t the theoretic that is atrocious, but the personalities that configure onto whatever it is they choose to define or surrender. Right now, the United States of America is facing suspended balloon figures in the form of the Republican Tea GOP leaders. We must cast our ballot for the Democratic Ticket on Election Day November 4, 2014. We need concrete answers but the House of Representatives is infiltrated with a Republican Majority that refuses to budge an inch from the Paul Ryan Budget and now the cruel take on poverty from Representative Ryan’s repertoire of impasses.   

M: Dude! Speaker of the House and Ohio Representative John Boehner would choose to describe the Republican Tea GOP’s impasses as cul-de-sacs, not dead ends.

D: Man! When did John Boehner enter real estate?  

M: Dude! Around the same time he and Paul Ryan and Mitch McConnell et al met up in Washington, DC with the five Supreme Court alpha males to disrupt the checks and balances system that is scheduled for extinction if we do not vote on Election Day Tuesday, November 4, 2014. Keep in mind too that John Marshall extended the doctrine of judicial review to which Thomas Jefferson forecast dimly that the constitution in the hands of the judiciary was “a mere thing of wax, which they may twist and shape into any form they please” like the present day Supreme Court of the United States has proven true through their bizarre and paternalistic rulings as of late.