Michael Jackson's "Black Or White"

(M)an: Dude! Republicans are such relentless nil-wits.

(D)ude: Man! What was that? Nil-wits? Yeah, makes overwhelming sense to term the United States Republican Party nil-wits but just don’t forget the nil-wits that parade about as the United States Press Corps.  

M: Dude! Seriously, the Republican Party and the American Press Corps do not qualify as half-wits or dim-wits due to there not being anything substantial upstairs to begin with.

D: Man! Could you do me a favor? There’s a package that was delivered minutes ago that’s awaiting pick-up in the apartment manager’s office. Could you please go and check it out? I’m timing the casserole that’s been baking for quite some time. Thanks.

M: Dude! You never check the mail and that casserole is the latest in your attempts to incorporate vegetables into at least one meal per day. The package is sitting by the front door. It’s incredibly light for its width and height, however. What did you order?

D: Man! There’s a startup out of Boring, Sullivan County, Tennessee that specializes in facial tissues embossed with the faces of the Republican Party nil-wit leadership.

M: Dude! I’d like to blow my nose on Senators John McCain and Lindsey Graham in addition to wiping them off and out. I specifically ordered the Republican visages sitting on the Armed Services Committees in the United States Congress, of which McCain and Graham are members.

D: Man! Aren’t New Hampshire’s Republican Senator Kelly Ayotte and Texas’s Republican Senator Ted Cruz on the Armed Services Committee in the United States Senate?    

M: Dude! I had ordered extra boxes of facial tissues embossed with Ayotte, Cruz, Graham, and McCain’s visages.

D: Man! How could you forget that ruinous triumvirate sitting on the Committee on the Budget in the United States House of Representatives?

M: Dude! House Committee on the Budget triumvirate nil-wits as in Republican Wisconsin Representative Paul Ryan, Republican Tennessee Representative Marsha Blackburn, and Republican Oklahoma Representative Tom Cole?

D: Man! Yeah? Wait! How did you know I am averse to House aversions Paul Ryan and Marsha Blackburn and Tom Cole?

M: Dude! What better catalysts of snotty snootiness then representatives Paul Ryan, Marsha Blackburn, Tom Cole, Kelly Ayotte, Ted Cruz, John McCain, and Lindsey Graham.

D: Man! Hey! The name of the facial tissues is Hauteur Couture! I wonder what the company name could be? Look! It’s the same! Are facial tissues their only product specialty?

M: Dude! I think so. There are excrement bags for canines as well that are reportedly durable enough not to inconvenience pet owners by crimping or collapsing.

D: Man! Remember John McCain’s uninformed revelation to Chris Wallace on Sunday, August 24, 2014 about how he and Lindsey Graham plan to repeal the sequestration on defense spending specifically when the United States Congress returns from its five-week break?  

M: Dude! How can anybody not hold these Republican Party nil-wits accountable for what they disclose? John McCain and Lindsey Graham plan to only repeal the current and crippling sequestration on defense spending only if the current President of the United States  regresses to the rules of warfare that dominated all presidential administrations before his! And I’m speaking of the Obama Administration’s educated calculations and cultural acuity.

D: Man! Concerning Ukraine and Russia, Syria and Iraq, Israel and Palestine, I think Republican and American Press Corps controvert think tanks place outsider agitators inside these ordeals that the Republican and American Press Corps controverts ignite and conflagrate in opposition to the Obama Administration’s efforts to upgrade the primordial approaches of presidents past. With globalization, you’ve got to meet all members of Humanity with fairness and truth. There’s a lot of commonality in tactics that the Republican/Press controverts inflicted upon Ferguson, Missouri that they are utilizing to spread afflictions across all continents.

M: Dude! Register, then vote for the Democratic Ticket in the midterm elections!

D: Man! Do you ever get the feeling that the Klu Klutz Klan and the Koch Klutz Klan is the Hamas and the ISIL of the United States? That the Klu and the Koch folks are committing the same sins as Hamas and ISIL and, like Hamas and ISIL do not practice Islam but are a serial killing mob, the Klu and Koch folks do not practice Christianity but are annihilating Klans?