I Think You Know. Register, Then Vote.

Man! Dude! Session #310

(D)ude: Man! If American voters do not register now and then vote on or before Election Day Tuesday November 4, 2014, Lewis Carroll’s Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland will be the only cultural discourse left depicting the hookah intelligently. The closest likeness to the hookah—in the world George Walker Bush and his bootlicking United States Press Corps and equivalently artificial Republican Party will have regained power due to the dismal voter turnout during the 2014 Midterm Elections in the United States of America—will be the French, Italian, and Swiss dish called fondue. Of course, the Republican AmBushEd United States Press Corps will have obliterated Europe as well with backing from Tony Blair and Bill Clinton’s facades.        

(M)an: Dude! If the American voters do not register to vote now and then turn out to cast their ballots for the Democratic Ticket on or before Election Day Tuesday November 4, 2014, only then will the Tony Blair and Bill Clinton’s facades or foundations or however you want to name their bragging tax breaks, only then will the Republican Party prevail in its destruction of our nation and the world.

D: Man! As Grace Slick sang those lyrics in that Jefferson Airplane song, “Go ask Alice. I think she’ll know. When logic and proportion have fallen sloppy dead: And the White Knight is talking backwards, and the Red Queen’s ‘off with her head!’ Remember what the dormouse said… Feed your head. Feed your head. The Republican Party is backwards and the United States Press Corps is slanted towards these far right neoconservatives and that musical tune really clicks with the Klu Klutz Klan and the Koch Klutz Klan and their mob of gerrymandered liars and thieves like Wisconsin Representative Paul Ryan and Ohio Representative John Boehner.     

M: Dude! How are hookahs and fondue relatable?

D: Man! How are the Republican Party and the Klu and/or Koch Klutz Klan not inseparable?

M: Dude! You go first?

D: Man! Okay. Hookahs can be single, double, triple, quadruple hosed, meaning that upwards of four folks at a time can smoke from the apparatus. Likewise, the fondue is often served in a communal pot that is available to an entire entourage of diners. However, there are social etiquettes concerning the hookah and fondue. Concerning the hookah, you should not point the mouthpiece towards the person on the receiving end of the apparatus and, concerning fondue, you should not spoil the fondue by submerging your bread piece a second and definitely not a third time after having taken a first bite. Instead, take a utensil and spread some of the fondue onto the piece of bread that is remaining and too dry to consume otherwise.     

M: Dude! The Republican Party and United States Press Corps have the same exact way of punishing intellectuals who choose to question or offer intriguing perspectives. In the Republican Party and the United States Press Corps, dullards rule the day in front of national and international audiences. People talk about censorship, but what about the infestation of dunce whiteheads ruling our lines of communication geopolitically? I am consumed by the intellectual threat that the Republican Party and the United States Press Corps are designing and imposing upon our children through corrupting the World Wide Web with witless wastes like Sarah Palin given subscription-based Internet channels. There ought to be a parental control mechanism with which to block such blockheads from ever reaching your child’s mind’s eye.              

D: Man! You know, speaking of Sarah Palin, Senator John McCain continued his weekend retching on the latest episode of Faux News Sunday with Chris Wallace,

“Well, we don't want to have the war won as it was in Iraq and then lose it by not leaving a residual force. And the same thing will happen in Afghanistan if we don't have condition-based presence. And that doesn't mean as General Keane said, these are support troops. Although there will be some Americans in danger, particularly our Special Forces people.

But look at the alternative. And that's what has to be explained to the American people. And I believe the American people will follow. But even I have to be convinced that there is an overall comprehensive strategy which -- and by the way, Lindsey Graham and I will make repeal of defense sequestration as our first goal, hopefully in September.”    

M: Dude! I had no idea that the United States won the Iraq War, as Senator John McCain relayed to Chris Wallace on August 24, 2014. And I definitely had no idea how blisteringly sacrificial McCain could be, that he would rather have had the alternative of endangering our Special Forces people in direct combat in a warzone as volatile as Iraq today. But what I find most perplexing is the fact that Senator McCain does not have the time to search the term “Special Forces” on Google and then read the Wikipedia articles that clarify too obviously that what President Obama’s Administration is already carrying out in Iraq is engaging Special Operations Forces as we speak.   

D: Man! According to one Wikipedia article, Special Operations Forces, or Special Forces as they are termed presently, are military units trained to perform unconventional missions specializing in the following sample of expertise—airborne operations, counter-insurgency, "counter-terrorism" , covert ops, direct action, hostage rescue, high-value targets or man-hunting, intelligence operations, mobility operations, and unconventional warfare.   

M: Dude! If we don’t register to vote and then vote on or before Election Day Tuesday November 4, 2014, we’re going to be forced to accept the Republican Party’s outdated schemes, which also involved the American Press Corps interfering with the rescue mission that failed to retrieve James Foley and his colleagues.