And this be our motto: "In God is our trust."

(M)an: Dude! I cannot believe you give so many people so much time!

(D)ude: Man! What was I supposed to do? And anyways, I think I received a personal message from the folks above wherever and whoever they are!

M: Dude! Is that right? How so? How did the proselytizers at the front door contribute to any profundity whatsoever?

D: Man! I was reading N. J. Dawood’s translation of the Koran and the Contemporary English Version of the Bible simultaneously and dolomphious fizzgiggious a four-year-old skeptic and his believing mother appeared at the front door today.

M: Dude! Books about divinity addressing the two faiths have the Republican Party and the American Press baptizing in hot water the head of an up-to-the-minute, with-it White House while extolling the return of goof-off good-for-nothings who never had the know-how to ever qualify as decrepit or outmoded. Hence, we’ve got Mitt Romney and Paul Ryan, Rick Perry and Gregg Abbott, John Boehner and Mitch McConnell, Mitch McConnell again with Rand Paul, the Klu Klutz Klan and the Koch Klutz Klan, Marsha Blackburn and Michelle Bachmann, and the returning Jeb Bush with son George Prescott Bush, Rick Scott and Judge Terry Lewis.

D: Man! Neglectful nepotism and nepotistic neglect, whichever one you choose to contrive, is what ails the Republican Party. Mitt Romney’s not the primer example but one nevertheless of neglectful nepotism, the primer examples all having been born with silver or gold spoons in their mouths whilst Mitt Romney’s was only stainless steel, or inox from the French inoxydable. This rather trivial detail from his babyhood prompted Mitt Romney to look for refuge in France as a missionary in his youth in order to evade the Vietnam War draft.          

M: Dude! Well, we got to witness how corrosive and incorrigible a man-child Mitt Romney and all the Republicans in the United States Congress are when soon-to-be-voted-out-of-office Wisconsin Representative Paul Ryan assisted Mitt Romney with taking the ALS ice bucket challenge on videotape by Ryan pouring a bucket of lukewarm water instead, followed by mistimed shivering on Romney’s end.        

D: Man! That’s too unimaginable for even me to fathom! Faking a voluntary challenge? That’s like how Paul Ryan washes already prewashed pots at local shelters for the television cameras. I believe Chris Cuomo and Jake Tapper transferred from ABC to CNN because of a scuffle involving the detailing that fell through and revealed Paul Ryan’s lies and the American Press’s favoritism toward corrosive and incorrigible man-children to the point of falsifying their coverage of national and international news. But I cannot believe a person can be so much like Newt Gingrich and Dick Cheney as to lie about something as implicit as a charitable cause like the ALS ice bucket challenge.          

M: Dude! That’s why there’s me! There’s a slump in the quality of leadership in the Republican Party since the reflux of repulsive segregationists in 2010 like Kentucky Senator Rand Paul who is currently duping folks like Senator Cory Booker into believing that he is sincere in his effort to repair the United States criminal justice system through the implementation of the Record Expungement Designed to Enhance Employment Act of 2014, or the REDEEM Act. Senator Rand Paul of Kentucky only wants one individual’s record with law enforcement expunged and that is of his own then-nineteen-year-old son William Paul’s four drinking-related misdemeanor offenses and an assault charge aboard a plane that landed January 4, 2013 at Charlotte Douglas International Airport in North Carolina where an arrest followed around noon with a 750 dollar bail made near midnight.          

D: Man! The American Press Corps is the Biblical Ham to the Republican Party’s Biblical Noah?   

M: Dude! Really? I thought the American Press Corps to be the Biblical Leah to the Republican Party’s Biblical Rachel. Look, Rachel is Jacob’s preference but her sister Leah is arranged by their father Laban to marry Jacob because Leah is the older sister and, thus, must marry first. A similar preference exists in the Muslim world where arranged marriages still prevail, Mohammed having studied the Old Testament and New Testament as a scholar before earning the respect of colleagues as a principled merchant for the shipping magnate Khadijah, his adoring first wife and the first convert to Islam.   

D: Man! Look at the way God promises through a rainbow to not summon another flood but Noah insists upon planting a vineyard and a lifestyle that involves indulgent confidential drunkard mood swings in the buff that mustn’t be revealed.    

M: Dude! And, of course, Ham stumbles into Noah’s tent, only to take leave immediately and tell his brothers Shem and Japheth about the sight of an inebriated and exposed Noah.   

D: Man! Noah makes slaves of Ham’s descendants, beginning with Ham’s son Canaan who is enslaved to his uncles Shem and Japheth. And two of the many places mentioned as belonging to the descendents of Ham conveniently include Ethiopia and Egypt.

M: Dude! The Republican Party has disrobed on many occasions and the American Press Corps has followed by covering up its nudity and arguing that its vineyard is for varying fruit preserves instead.

D: Man! Peanut butter and grape jelly sandwiches could be the reason for the vineyard. Have you not noticed how it’s either strawberry jelly or grape jelly in those jars with the peanut butter whipped around in circular layers of fruit preserves?      

M: Dude! Rachel and Leah were sisters originally and aren’t we all siblings in revelry before rivalry ensues?

D: Man! As Edward Lear wrote, separately but he nonetheless, dolomphious fizzgiggious!