History of the World, Part 2

(M)an: Dude! Conan O’Brien is organizing a History of the World, Part 2 revival with Mel Brooks starring Don Rickles.  

(D)ude: Man! Revival? History of the World, Part 1 ended with the French Revolution but I always considered that part of the farcical genius of Mel Brooks.   

M: Dude! Contrarily, the epic parody was intentioned to continue but the Reagan Administration wiped out all ambitions by the time the film was released on June 12, 1981 with immediate implementation of supply-side economics that, ironically, an Arab Muslim by the name Ibn Khaldun formulated in the fourteenth century.     

D: Man! Ibn Khaldun? Fourteenth century? When exactly in the 1300s did Ibn Khaldun write down his theory of economics? Is this theory what Americans today allude to as Reaganomics?

M: Dude! Yes. Ibn Khaldun wrote his masterwork Muqaddimah, a truly remarkable first for humanity because it introduced the concept of applying scientific method to social phenomena, in AD 1377. In fact, the Greeks celebrated Ibn Khaldun’s breakthrough achievement by titling the work Ibn Khaldun’s Prolegomena, or “Introduction” because the Muqaddimah was the foundational force for a universal or world history via the creation of social sciences like economics and sociology.    

D: Man! Are there translations of Ibn Khaldun’s Muqaddimah available in English and has the text survived in its original language?

M: Dude! Ibn Khaldun’s Muqaddimah is available in both its original Arabic and a translated version in English edited by N. J. Dawood, the adept bilingual Iraqi scholar who, upon graduating from the University of London and securing a job as a journalist, was commissioned by Penguin Books to translate Thousand and One Nights in 1954 and, after, the Koran, which has never gone out of print and is scheduled to be rereleased with revisions this year! Yes, 2014!

D: Man! Do we know anything about the life of Ibn Khaldun? Or is the interest in the lives of those inhabiting the Afro-Asiatic purposefully overlooked in world history?    

M: Dude! The astute Ibn Khaldun left behind an autobiography, the contents of which have been debated because the writer credits his ancestors with a lot more cultural homogeneity than they actually possessed. Notwithstanding the abounding appreciation across the Afro-Asiatic for Ibn Khaldun’s autobiography, an English translation is not readily available in the United States although you can purchase an Arabic version online.                  

D: Man! What type of cultural homogeneity are we talking about here? Was cultural heterogeneity looked on unfavorably?

M: Dude! Yes. There was a Yemeni Arab tribe that claimed to be descendant from the era of The Prophet Muhammad, to which Ibn Khaldun discriminatingly traced his heritage although academics like Mohammad Enan remained convinced that the celebrated philosopher was of mixed ancestry, or a muwallad in Arabic.            

D: Man! Do you think that Jesus Christ is depicted as virtuous and characteristically unavailing because Matthew, Mark, Lucas, and John wished to convey the sense of not just restraint and respect but keep their Gospels conscionably cryptic and canonical, hence the disinterests in what accordingly was dismissed as apocryphal and unverifiable?

M: Dude! What is verifiable but being overlooked currently so a case against the United States Secretary of Veterans Affairs Eric Ken Shinseki can be made is that the initial whistleblower Dr. Sam Foote made a shameful revelation of why he even pursued looking into the Veterans Health Administration and assisting in the formulation of a scandal against the Obama Administration to Chris Wallace on the Faux News Channel Sunday, May 18, 2014.

D: Man! Hey! You’re venturing into Dr. Sam Foote’s revelation that he and his supporters want to initiate the privatization of Veterans Affairs by calling for an independent study to be done by the web survey company SurveyMonkey whose clientele include Mark Zuckerberg’s Facebook, Richard Branson’s Virgin America, and Marc Benioff’s Salesforce.com, along with Samsung and Kraft.

M: Dude! Yes! These companies and their entrepreneurs are very much concerned about losing their monopolistic strength in the global age and, therefore, are willing to hold on to power even if it means siding politically with the United States Republican Tea GOP, who embrace cultural exclusivity of the top earners in society because, otherwise, there would be diversity that would place their services in competition with up and coming starter companies from India and Russia far better design integrity and opportunity for growth than Facebook et al.

D: Man! No wonder these American and UK companies and Hillary Rodham Clinton and Prince Charles make foolish and dastard comparisons between President Vladimir Putin and history’s human monstrosities while overseeing the placement of human monstrosities like BJP and Modi into societies abroad with their own private finances. The Clinton Foundation and the English Royals are entrenched in such corporate muck and are so invested in the pursuit for more and more and more assets that they themselves have transfigured into human monstrosities.

M: Dude! Hillary Rodham Clinton’s brilliance is suffocating in President Clinton’s gloat and greed. The guy really thinks he’s fooling everybody with the Clinton Global Initiative. But there is a price to pay for gloat and greed and President Clinton proves it with a waning intellectual prowess and inflated ego.

D: Man! And those conditions are airborne and communicable with devastating effects like rapider calcification of the falx cerebri running between the two hemispheres of the brain. It is also a defining specification for leaders inside the Republican Tea GOP right now. A lot of Democratic Party leaders are coming down with this condition but there is a meditative antidote to the inherent madness, which is letting go of avarice by envisioning life without acknowledgment and actually letting go of abundance.

M: Dude! Talking about abundance and personal prosperity, Representative Paul Ryan’s Path to Prosperity really is a blueprint for leading Eurasia and the Afro-Asiatic into an unfathomable abyss about which Pope Francis the First has cautioned piecemeal.

D: Man! The Ryan Budget eliminates cultural exchange programs and the organizations that have inspired and forged the point in history where the United States is at right now, like the Open World Leadership Center and the Center for Middle Eastern-Western Dialogue, which the Ryan Budget and Congressional Republicans have deemed redundant and duplicative. That’s unthinkably shallow!

M: Dude! Imagine Paul Ryan advising Pope Francis the First to forgo his excursions, including the historic three-day embracement of the Middle East this past weekend. It is incomprehensible, like John Roberts’ Supreme Court and the Internal Revenue Service strategically condoning sacrilegious activities by the Republican Tea GOP cartels that are fundraising by exploiting the Benghazi, Libya tragedy and our precious sons who we lost, Christopher Stevens, Sean Smith, Glen Doherty, and Tyrone Woods.

D: Man! Campaign finance reform and 501(c)(4) revisions are necessary and Americans should be made aware of the power they have that makes Republicans like Speaker of the House John Boehner nervous and that is the power to vote and oust the obstructionist out of office. It is surprising how the Congressional Republicans claim to be preservers of the Constitution of the United States of America but blatantly disregard that President Eisenhower oversaw the rewrite of the Revenue Act of 1913’s social welfare construct that became Internal Revenue Code Section 501(c)(4).    

M: Dude! I am really concerned about the blasphemous campaign finance fraud and abuse through the Internal Revenue Code Section 501(c)(4). The obstructionist intervention model is being practiced by airlines like United who are experiencing back to back mid air collision scares because air traffic controllers are retiring and newcomers are making errors while the air traffic controller responsible for two aircrafts colliding over the Hudson River August 8, 2009 through gross negligence has been rehired because we the people are subjected mercilessly to the obstructionist injustices of a grossly negligent Republican Tea GOP Congress due to our own abysmal voter turnout especially during midterm elections. But we the people can change that on Tuesday, November 4, 2014 by voting against these Republican Tea GOP leaders who’re subjecting US to the barbarism of congressional immobility combined with an equally reckless Supreme Court.   

D: Man! I just pray for our sons and daughters in uniform. Let them not come into harm’s way because of congressional negligence and double-dealing spokesmen and spokeswomen fixed inside the VFW and IAVA.

M: Dude! Amen!

D: Man! Did you know that Mel Brooks and Don Rickles have not sustained any calcification of the falx cerebri?

M: Dude! Neither has Conan O’Brien! And that’s why all three greats have collaboratively preserved Sid Caesar’s countless performances by digitalizing them with frame-to-frame narrative analysis and a book that Jill Abramson can endorse without hesitation!