Tragedy of Innocence: Amanda Knox

(D)ude: Man! Amanda Knox should never have written such a scathing account of the Italian criminal justice system upon being returned to Seattle, Washington after 4 years in jail over there. What was she thinking? Who advised her to write such a book in the first place?

(M)an: Dude! Amanda Knox is a high functioning young adult with a limited intellectual capacity. Yes, she managed successfully through academics, but her eyes are vacant and her affect is mistimed.

D: Man! Amanda Knox is limited intellectually but high functioning? Are you sure she’s not low functioning with a considerable intellect?

M: Dude! Where’s the medical community in the United States anyways? Can’t the United States and Italy and Pope Francis get together for the welfare of a young adult woman who has survived insurmountable odds stacked against her from birth just so she can exist without having her functional incapability figured out?

D: Man! Amanda Knox has suffered enough, don’t you think? She’s confident of her capabilities when tragically she has none. But, considering that, wouldn’t it be advisable for Italy and the United States to reach a diplomatic agreement where the publishers of Amanda Knox’s book must agree to pull it off the shelves nationwide as well as worldwide?

M: Dude! Remember the kids who always got laughed at for their simplemindedness in the cafeteria and the playground? And then, do you remember the loners with their books and other methods of escapism before and after school on the school bus? Do you really think they were actually reading anything? You know, I admit that when the going got tough, I used to pull out a paperback novel myself.

D: Man! No, I knew no one read the books they had in hand in public at school or on the school bus. In fact, I know because I was one of those students who would hide behind a paperback myself, especially in gym class. Do you know I read while undressing in the locker room as not to attract the venom of the upperclassmen and the bullies?

M: Dude! I also was able to pull that stunt off! And I thought I was special!

D: Man! Me too!

M: Dude! The Italian legal system is deservingly upset over the release of Amanda Knox’s book in which she basically rambles and stumbles herself on why she smiled and kissed her then-identified-accomplice boyfriend during the murder investigation.

D: Man! How’s she supposed to know what’s ill timing or inappropriate?

M: Dude! There’s a lot of room for subjectivity here. That’s why a clinical team of mental health specialists must be convened on behalf of the welfare of Amanda Knox.

D: Man! I can see the headlines and Amanda Knox perhaps losing the little capabilities she has mustered to attain in her frightful innocence.

M: Dude! The murder conviction was overturned back in 2011. That should still stand as the book she wrote should stand as evidence of Amanda Knox’s perplexing lack of self-preservation. She served 4 years in an Italian prison, remember?

D: Man! I wonder what kinds of books and newspapers Amanda Knox has hidden behind to mask her absence of  street smarts. I suspect she still colors in the puzzles found in Highlights For Children. I never liked and have grown to disdain Highlights For Children.

M: Dude! Huh?

D: Man! I’m telling you. I think Amanda Knox actually read Highlights For Children as well as coloring in the puzzles. That’s how bland her personal tastes are in literature and intellectual engagements.

M: Dude! You do have a point there! But why have you developed a disdain for Highlights For Children, may I ask?

D: Man! If I had read more of those, I am absolutely certain I would have aced the standardized tests in high school. At least the reading comprehension portions!

M: Dude! I feel the same sharp tang of resentment myself for the abacus I had in my crib as a toddler! I was fascinated by the colors but the numerical component just flew past me! One flew past the cuckoo’s crib?

D: Man! Don’t say that! I’ve seen all your baby pictures and I am still surprised every time at the depth and distances covered just by staring into you’re eyes.  

M: Dude! Amanda Knox’s family and advisors are paying debts through Amanda’s book.

D: Man! She’s been forced to write her account to pay outstanding loans and mortgages?

M: Dude! The financial ruin of Amanda Knox’s family should be evidence enough of just how unknowingly Amanda Knox found herself at her own place at the wrong time.

D: Man! Huh?

M: Dude! That’s just it!

D: Man! Do you mean that she was her boyfriend’s alibi and accomplice without even knowing he was essentially using her the entire time for whatever means were necessary to buy himself time?

M: Dude! Yeah!

D: Man! That’s a cold-blooded killer boyfriend!

M: Dude! Amanda Knox’s vacant eyes probably have sustained unconscionable harm due to their inability to communicate propriety most likely, and she could actually help Meredith Kercher’s family with the unconscionable pain.