Man! Dude! Session #236: Subliminal Methodology

(D)ude: Man! What’s the difference between that Miami Dolphins guy Incognito and Stephen Colbert?

(M)an: Dude! You tell me! One violently tormented Jonathan Martin and the other has made it fashionable amongst high society youth to make fun of the poor while disrespecting women. I cannot tell Stephen Colbert apart from the Duck Dynasty clansmen. Can you?

D: Man! Colbert crossed the line when he visited a New Jersey Food Bank to meet with Debbie Palacios, a female navigator who he went on to torment on camera as she assisted him with filling out an application for Obamacare.

M: Dude! The sudden rise in racialism and sexism has spiked with the Republican Sequestration and GOP Government Shutdown and the John Boehner Congressional Obstructionism that continues being subliminally fed to the millennials and the two extremes of society, the rich and the poor.

D: Man! Subliminally is exactly the methodology that Stephen Colbert and Jon Stewart have utilized in order to push a culture of cold-blooded disregard for the working class poor and those in even graver circumstances. Are Colbert and Stewart’s own children such non-achievers in their whatever or otherwise that the two pundits play bridge with Arianna Huffington and Newt Gingrich as they all ponder how to divide up the institutions of higher learning amongst their progeny?

M: Dude! Aasif Mandvi and Colbert’s guests are the only reasons why I record both shows in the first place. I am certain that Mandvi’s flawless acting night after night is the reason why the play Disgraced won the 2013 Pulitzer for drama.   

D: Man! I saw the entire play, well almost the entirety of the play, online somewhere. And, like you, I am also convinced that Mandvi’s the reason why the production was able to not only survive but garner awards as well.

M: Dude! Imagine the inequity in Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert’s efforts to suppress, oppress, and depress everybody who doesn’t fall into their income bracket.

D: Man! Stephen Colbert actually stated he is not pro-poor to NPR’s Brian Lehrer. And he went on to degrade the value of preschool for all New York kids that Mayor-Elect Bill De Blasio is trying to bring in an effort to balance the landscape so that every borough can celebrate the miracles of early childhood education.

M: Dude! Children’s librarians can do so much for preschoolers. Did you know that there is an entire reading system installed at all the branches of the Fort Worth Public Library?

D: Man! I didn’t think working class families facing poverty get the opportunity to explore the library, but I was wrong. Did you know that the local metro bus routes all lead to a library and that there is a bench outside many branches for patrons to wait for their rides home at the end of the workday? But there should be more shelter at the bus stops, especially considering the overwhelming temperature surges that we’re suffering for some time now, every public school ought to reward that kid who invents a way to convince the City of Fort Worth to at least provide a state-of-the-art sunroom apparatus that works to block the blazing sunlight while being hardy enough to withstand the crowds that form around the time the buses run.

M: Dude! I cannot tell you how many working mothers I have seen at the library picking out picture books and chapter books for their children. There are also a lot of fathers who too bring their children to the library to type up their school reports. The parents either reward themselves by checking out a movie or television serial alongside their favorite contemporary fiction and nonfiction new releases.

D: Man! Developing a habit for books while making regular library visits can be very refreshing. Remember that college readiness academy my sister attended throughout middle school? Well, the English teachers actually shelved books all over their classrooms and required mandatory 55 minutes of silent reading daily alongside weekly letter writing between classmates.  

M: Dude! Your sister showed me her reading list and accompanying letters. Did you know, she actually confessed that the idea of having to basically engage in writing literary letters to fellow students was more daunting than the total of six she had to write to her teacher?

D: Man! What if Stephen Colbert and Jon Stewart were to retort that we have taken them too seriously?

M: Dude! Their humor is tastelessly corporate and thoroughly vulgar as of recently. It’s really alarming to hear Stephen Colbert using the terminology of the Tea Partiers who want to secede from Colorado. Did you hear how Colbert has incorporated “nanny state” into his working vocabulary? 

D: Man! The price is Right, so he is White. That’s what’s happening to White American guys like Colbert and Stewart. They are sellouts that only see the color green around the time of midterm elections in the United States, so the Koch and the Adelson and PepsiCo can do as they wish with the two flippant showmen.

M: Dude! The guests on Colbert’s show are not fooled into the money trap like him. Instead, burgeoning entrepreneurs like Zach Sims and medical researchers like Jack Andraka are very astute to point out that their startups and inventions are totally not tied to how much money could possibly result in the sales of their ideas and innovations.

D: Man! They love creating and empowering everyday people like US with their visions, inventions, and hard work.

M: Dude! Stephen Colbert is always mentioning the “Colbert Bump” but I think it’s working the other way around nowadays.

D: Man! You mean that the guests are saving his show from becoming totally off?

M: Dude! Julius Erving, aka Dr. J, has such a relaxed classiness about him that he managed to fool Colbert in a game the host brought up for the guest out of the blue and appeared to have won, expect that Dr. J had led Colbert into the trap of exposing the host’s lie about not being able to see color, his own or others’.

D: Man! Finally! About time Stephen Colbert got set into place!

M: Dude! Dr. J ought to become a United States Senator, don’t you think?

D: Man! Remind me to check out Senator-Elect Julius Erving’s autobiography from the library. I’ve got several books on hold and need to make a round before the holds expire.