Man! Dude! Session #153

(M)an: Dude! Would you like me to share some recommendations that I know you’ll enjoy discovering?

(D)ude: Man! You still haven’t provided any literary solace! I need some escapist literature to help me gain some perspective after having lost so much brainpower with those lousy selections I made recently.

M: Dude! I got the perfect set of four destined-to-become or destined-to-remain classics. They all share a commonality in that their authors are able to say so much more within the realm of decency and conversational ease that your going to mourn when you reach the end of each one of these literary journeys.

D: Man! Okay! Begin listing!

M: Dude! So, the first on my list of must reads is The John Lennon Letters compiled and edited by Hunter Davies, a trusted friend of John Lennon’s and Yoko Ono. Although the book debuted this past fall, it is even more riveting then Living in the Material World, which chronicles the highlights of George Harrison’s life.

D: Man! Does Hunter Davies’ take on Lennon’s life have a similar intimacy?

M: Dude! Hunter Davies actually tracked down the persons John Lennon wrote to, which, by the way, was quite difficult given John Lennon’s habit of responding personally to almost every correspondence he received, including fan mail. The same cannot be said of Lennon’s band mates.

D: Man! I’ve got to get my hands on a copy fast! You said it came out last fall. That’s sufficient time past for me to probably come across a copy at a used books store. 

M: Dude! I secured a copy at the library, but it’s due tomorrow. I’ve checked it twice already, but you’re more than welcome to peruse all the books on the dining room table. They’re all due soon, so I would start relatively quickly if I were you.

D: Man! Thanks a lot! You could have at least shared that tidbit yesterday! I could have juggled some reading with the multitasking I had undertaken then.

M: Dude! There’s today! Why not start right now, this very minute?

D: Man! Are you patronizing me? If you are, you’re doing just as terribly as the Congressional Republicans have been dodging criticism and derision for having whacked the daylights out of deficit talks, only to turn the other way when the GDP has dropped significantly on President Obama’s watch in recent bipartisan analyses.

M: Dude! The Republicans are physical deficits themselves! There is an IQ imparity inside the GOP, so it seems, but we must remember Darrell Issa’s recent bombast that he had way more than enough money and that his son could easily cock-a-doodle-doo as well as subsequent generations of, presumably, Issa men.

D: Man! Darrell Issa and Jeb Bush live in a bubble that will burst with gasconade. Reminds me of how Aristotle Onassis pleaded that he would trade all his fortune to have his son with him again, having perished tragically, dying in an automobile crash.

M: Dude! That is really surprising that you are mentioning the tragic death of Onassis’ son, because my next book recommendation comes from the guy who helped Paul Newman survive through the aftermath of his son’s drug overdose. The two men collaborated on the now-famously distributed brand Newman’s Own.

D: Man! Who is Paul Newman’s trusted friend?

M: Dude! O.J. in the Morning, G & T at Night is a masterfully constructed series of humorous essays by A.E. Hotchner covering the ups and downs of old age, but always exceeding propriety. Hotch, as he is known to friends and family, takes care to be just a distance away from one’s owning up to one’s faults and interpretations.

D: Man! And what about the book in your hand at the moment?

M: Dude! Hotch reminds me of author Dale Carnegie, specifically his endearing classic How to Win Friends & Influence People. Carnegie has tenacity that suggests that he would not keep a low profile if he heard the Congressional Republicans and their hidden Democratic allies harping away at the deficit!

D: Man! And now marinating the triple threat of the Benghazi-IRS-AP scandals hoping that may just keep them away from having to confront the pertinent issues of job growth, investments and a move away from corporate welfare, and consideration for 1 out every 52 Americans who are dependent on government food assistance.

M: Dude! Don’t forget immigration reform!

D: Man! Welcome to the Republican Party’s Divided States of America! There is a state of sequestration in effect, and projections have been made that the pathway to citizenship will entail a minimum wait time of 13 years approximately.

M: Dude! Don’t forget Chained CPI!

D: Man! If the American electorate does not want to move anywhere towards the spectrum of turning up to the voting booths in record numbers to offset the obstructionist Republican Majority in the House of Representatives, then I’m going to collect innumerable funds and delegate a strategy for the movement towards progress by hiring South Asian Hijras to make appointments with GOP leadership and protest on the fact that they are represented in their communities in India better than the poor in the United States.

M: Dude! You’re going to collect innumerable funds?

D: Man! Have you seen the 2010 careers Barbie dressed up as a computer engineer? It would probably be far more conducive to have John Boehner and Eric Cantor play with Barbie dolls on the congressional floor. Although Boehner and Cantor would make dandy cross-dressers, I would think.

M: Dude! Huh? Hijras are going to be protesting! They are far more elegant and cultured than Michelle Bachman and Sarah Palin!

D: Man! Hijras are humanitarians and do not live with anesthetized consciences like Kelly Ayotte and Marco Rubio!