Man! Dude! Session #149

(M)an: Dude! You’re back home early!

(D)ude: Man! You’ve returned really quickly!

M: Dude! I brought back some of the desserts my mom made for today!

D: Man! We are synchronized from the hips, because I brought back the entire line up of brunch items my mother made for our family get together!

M: Dude! What did you do for a card? I took my screensaver and printed it off on photo paper at Office Depot!

D: Man! That’s a great idea! I did not like any of the cards at Hallmark, until I found a hoops and yoyo brand ensemble equipped with dialogue and music.

M: Dude! Hoops and yoyo are too rude for my mom’s tastes, but I have bought them for my dad and everybody else many times.

D: Man! My mother told me to tell you how much she enjoyed the flower arrangement you sent! She even wanted to know if you would like a photograph to send to your mother later on in the year for another special occasion.

M: Dude! Your mother, as usual, rocks! My mother actually framed the screensaver card from Office Depot in a really antique and posh picture frame. I took a photograph. You may want to send your mom a screensaver photograph for her birthday?

D: Man! My mom’s birthday is in February, remember?

M: Dude! Valentine’s Day! Oh no! I totally forgot!

D: Man! I gave her a kitchen scale on your behalf since she is dieting with that points program with Weight Watchers.

M: Dude! Thank you! No! Seriously, I am eternally grateful to you! I don’t think I thanked you for the time you remembered my niece’s birthday last September. Oh! I better set up an electronic reminder on my calendar since I just figured that one out way before too late.

D: Man! You’re just going to end up asking me about the scribbles you make or the underlining meaning of the message you record.

M: Dude! That is absolutely true! But, I really am curious to know, how are we synchronized from the hips?

D: Man! It was a slipup. I honestly have no clue as to its meaning. You’re really meticulous with detail today!

M: Dude! You know how my mother gets when the entire family is in town! I had to comb my hair and part it to the right in order for my grandmother to recognize me.

D: Man! I totally forgot your maternal grandmother’s still up and about!

M: Dude! She’s up and running! But I just don’t get the fuss with the hairstyles. My sisters went to the trouble to find old-fashioned skirts and Victorian blouses to transform themselves into actress Jane Seymour’s role in the celebrated television series that my grandmother adored, Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman. You know, sometimes I think my grandmother is exercising her sense of humor in the severest possible way.

D: Man! You’re lucky. My great uncle used to dress up as a seafarer and entertained the notion that such individuals kept long and colorfully braided hair.

M: Dude! You should have brought him to show and tell at school!

D: Man! I brought him along for that special parade we had in the second grade on Halloween.

M: Dude! Remember the haunted house?

D: Man! How can I forget? My great uncle seized the opportunity to heist the climax literally!

M: Dude! Was he the gentleman who was later reported to have whisked the wicked witch character into his arms and turned the whole evening into an adult comedy routine?

D: Man! Man! Man!

M: Dude! What’s the matter? Did you want people to forget that memorable moment?

D: Man! Yes! Of course!

M: Dude! Then consider it forgotten!

D: Man! You’re laughing! And your hair is still parted to the right like Pinocchio!

M: Dude! You’re developing a five o clock shadow like Geppetto!

D: Man! When you wish upon a star, always let your conscience be your guide!

M: Dude! You’ve got a good point, however much it is just a fusion of two of the greatest Walt Disney songs from the 1940 classic!

D: Man! I don’t know about you, but I used to have nightmares of Enrico Mazzanti’s pictorial renditions of The Adventures of Pinocchio. I had the Carlo Collodi classic but refused to read it because of the frighteningly manlike boy liar.

M: Dude! That rendition of the fairy tale liar startled me as well! I swear I went to school or communion with several guys with the same knobby joints and jaunting nasals.

D: Man! At least my great uncle was, at the very least, handsome. I guess. Yeah! He was a devilishly handsome whisker of that elementary school teacher claiming to be a Wicked Witch on Halloween!

M: Dude! What was it about her that attracted your great uncle? Must have been the silk stockings, perhaps?

D: Man! Mrs. Kissinger’s name really attracted him. And the silk stockings only made matters moreover provocative.