Man! Dude! Session #139

(M)an: Dude! Shawn Corey Carter and Beyonce Knowles are obscene capitalists.  

(D)ude: Man! Shawn Carter and Beyonce Knowles are moneymaking jackals?

M: Dude! Huh?

D: Man! Remember that children’s tale about the jackal who ran up a mountain when asked to contribute his compost? They went to Cuba to market their compost there.

M: Dude! I see your point. You’re referring to the trip to Cuba the Carters took and returned from with that Shawn Carter rap “Open Letter”… Yeah?

D: Man! The guy raps for three minutes and places expletives in lines meant to have been spoken by our forty-fourth president! That is contemptible!

M: Dude! Shawn Carter and Beyonce Knowles are too ridiculously into marketing their compost to be taken seriously. But, certainly, they are not good human beings. They are calculating and small-minded betrayers.

D: Man! They have two media empires between them, of course they are relevant to our culture and society.

M: Dude! The relevance of Shawn Carter and Beyonce Knowles is obsolete. When you gain the confidence of the President of the United States Barack Obama, you do not exploit that trust via song and dance. Carter and Knowles knowingly desecrated the presidency of Barack Obama. Both Carter and Knowles were and are behaving vulgarly, trying to make themselves come across as the president’s equals. Shawn Corey Carter and Beyonce Knowles are tasteless, popularly priced braggarts.

D: Man! President Bill Clinton and Chelsea Clinton are powerhouses as well. What about the 10.5 million dollar studio apartment Chelsea Clinton purchased in Manhattan?

M: Dude! I see your point there too. You’re referring to the $500,000 price tag that the father-daughter pair purported to have allocated to the Clinton Global Initiative University’s endeavors for 2013.

D: Man! Don’t you think that an extravagant personal lifestyle is discordant with the want to represent tomorrow’s innovators via tightfisted financing?

M: Dude! Who knows? That sectional couch or geometric rug that the powerful desire ownership over 

probably are talismans of overachievers.

D: Man! What about mobilizing the disenfranchised? What talismans are available to the sufferers of injustice?

M: Dude! You leave out a segment of existence that are the severest forms of soul afflictions.

D: Man! Sociopaths?

M: Dude! No! I was thinking along the lines of the well-to-do who cannot fathom getting together with their humbler roots.

D: Man! Reminds me of my cousins in Tennessee. They think they are Nashville like Nicole Kidman, but I think Nicole Kidman too has faded into a trashiness alongside her husband Keith Urban. You can tell by the clothes Kidman purports to wear because Urban selects what he likes.

M: Dude! Trashiness? If I were once one of the best dressed people in Hollywood as Nicole Kidman was in the pre-Urban era, I would not defer my immaculate clotheshorse senses for a crooner who doesn’t even look elegant in his own getup and garb.   

D: Man! Keith Urban is a clumsy mess of a country bumpkin madman. Imagine being married to the best dressed woman in the world and disenfranchising her of her impeccable style because of a Freudian need to possess that which is essential to her success and future as a professional actress. Keith Urban ought to write a songbook about the need to possess Nicole Kidman through dress. Possess through dress! I am in such an alcoholic stress due to my missus!

M: Dude! Reminds me of how Oprah Winfrey is wanting to refurnish one of her homes to become more accommodating to her visitors. She’s placing everything in storage. I don’t understand why she cannot get another home next door or render everything for what it is, material possession, and allow friends and family over without making such a big deal of the worth of the items they are sitting in or standing upon.

D: Man! Oprah Winfrey is stuffing storage spaces like she’s more willing to leave the items of her homes for a museum of rapacity than give anything away to her beloved friends and family. Are you capable of holding anyone endearingly in your heart if your heart is so close-fisted?    

M: Dude! I don’t get white linens and white carpets! I can sense if the person I am next to in the elevator or in five-o-clock traffic has placed such burdens upon their beds and floors.

D: Man! Me too!

M: Dude! Whatever the color of furniture in your home, white or yellow, or any range of tints between, use it without worship and give to Goodwill without deification. If you cannot keep from worship and deification, you are irrevocably bound to the words of Dante Alighieri, and sentenced to ascending and descending others’ stairs in a hellish loophole at the points of inferno and purgatory.  

D: Man! They’re really uptight and tightlipped. Too much so in this world to really harness a place for themselves in Dante’s third and last structure paradise.   

M: Dude! You make an excellent point. Shawn Carter and Beyonce Knowles are pseudo-trendsetters, like how Victoria Beckham has borrowed heavily from Balenciaga, and the questionable inclusion of Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen in Doria Santlofer’s 2012 book entitled 50 Contemporary Fashion Designers You Should Know.

D: Man! Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen ought to be banned from the world of couture altogether for their unintelligent designs. Doria Santlofer’s book probably received funding from the billionaire made-for-television flops-turned-media-moguls.

M: Dude! I think so. The quality of the pages in the book are similarly low-grade as the Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen lineup of everyday wear at Wal-Mart! Actually, Santlofer’s book loses all its stylishness with the addition of the twins as one of the ones to know in contemporary fashion design.