Lightweight Dumbbells

(M)an: Dude! Donald Trump really brings out the GOP-ness in the Republican Party.

(D)ude: Man! I have to disagree. New York Senator Chuck Schumer and Governor Andrew Cuomo bring out the true GOP-ness in the Republican Party.

M: Dude! They’re Democrats! 

D: Man! Donald Trumo is not!

M: Dude! But Chuck Schumer and Andrew Cuomo are!

D: Man! What? 

M: Dude! Democrats! 

D: Man! Teabags! 

M: Dude! Of course! Teabag Democrats!

D: Man! The Republican Tea-ters and Democrat Teabags have a distinctive GOP-ness about themselves!  

M: Dude! Donald Trumo? Tea-ters?

D: Man! Finish it! Finish it!

M: Dude! Finish it?

D: Man! I’m qualified to moderate a debate between candidates candidly admitting to their GOP-ness, aren’t I?

M: Dude! Why would you want to moderate a debate that’s as asinine as Fox News Channel and CNN? 

D: Man! Faux and sin! Fox Television Chairman Roger Eugene Ailes and the Wall Street Journal’s Peggy Noonan come to mind, don’t they?

M: Dude! Speaking of GOP-ness, Texas Senator Ted Cruz and Governor Greg Abbott come to mind, do they not?

D: Man! Faux and sin! Confessional! Confession! I report to the sauna immediately upon arriving at the gym in order to look perspired before even beginning my workout. 

M: Dude! Do you do so because you’re convinced that you’re only a miniscule percentage of the gym regulars with no concrete results to show?

D: Man! Yes! The majority of the regulars are fit and lean and six-packed!

M: Dude! You returned to the gym three days ago and the last time you committed to a routine was 52 days ago. 

D: Man! How’d you figure that out?

M: Dude! The last note in your iPhone 3GS reads that you left for the gym and returned proselytizing how one should never attend the Zumba classes and the Yoga sessions. You were convinced you had a hernia after taking on both endeavors back-to-back.

D: Man! Ouch! I did overtrain my torso and overextend my limbs! I have the muscle memory!

M: Dude! Is your physical build capable of overtraining and overextending given your sporadic attendance record at the gym?

D: Man! Global warming! It’s affecting me so harshly as to get my karma and kismet confused and easily exhausted!

M: Dude! Remember the bucket of chicken turning cold as a result of a husband and wife team trying endlessly to convert us over to their denomination?

D: Man! I may be confused and exhausted about karma and kismet, but I remember that church luncheon with the bucket of chicken turning cold. That particular husband and wife pair were steadfast about baptising us!

M: Dude! Really?

D: Man! It was a perfect day for divine intervention. Imagine if the Almighty had utilized the powers of the universe and the phenomenon of global warming to keep the bucket of chicken from getting as cold as it did.

M: Dude! Huh?