Manfred Spencer Alverston: Man! Dude! Session #177

(M)an: Dude! This middle of the night legislative trysting of the Republican Party leaders is leading to rewriting intellectually arguable laws into subpar worse-than-Machiavellian and just-like-al-Assad manifestos.

(D)ude: Man! South Carolina Governor Pat McCrory is testing out a Republican strategy in his GOP saturated state legislature. Governor McCrory is not reading and refuses to read any bill that comes his way for signature. But the kicker in this is that Governor McCrory signs the legislation into law with just the promise that what he wants, oppressive policies towards minorities and women, are contained within the paperwork somewhere.

M: Dude! South Carolina GOP Governor Pat McCrory does not read the bills so that if problems arise, he can just dismiss the person or people responsible for whatever part of the signed legislation comes under public scrutiny.

D: Man! There is no such thing as public scrutiny left in the Republican-held state legislatures. The GOP is actually gaining momentum in terms of arrogance and reckless political swooning, just look at Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker! Governor Walker is so out of control after the United States Supreme Court’s Shelby County, Alabama decision to gut out Section 4 from the Voting Rights Act of 1965, titling his upcoming book Unintimidated.

M: Dude! Reminds me of the same taunting by Mitt Romney in his classic tale of exceptionality-without-regard-to-the-47% No Apology.

D: Man! If an Unintimidated Scott Walker and Mitt Romney offering No Apology is the new Republican norm, I’m going to start listening to Barry Manilow and following Pope Francis since his return from Copacabana Beach, where three million followers gathered for Mass in Rio de Janeiro.

M: Dude! His name was Boehner/He wore a diamond/He was escorted to his chair/He saw McConnell dancing there/And when he finished/He called him over/But Boehner went a bit too far/Beck sailed across the bar/And the punches flew and legislations were smashed in twos/There was blood and a single gun shot/But just who shot who?

D: Man! Wayne LaPierre shot Glenn Beck in the derriere! At the Copa! Copacabana!

M: Dude! I tell you! That Tony Weiner reminds me of Tim Conway’s perverted Peek-a-Booing Uncle caricature from the Carol Burnett Show!

D: Man! Tony Weiner and the Internet do not go together. I think Tony Weiner is a cockroach that just hasn’t discovered full-length mirrors, although he is constantly on the prowl for potential eye-to-eye flirtations in his campaign bid for New York City mayor. He’s going to be a constant impediment to the Democratic Party and subjected to so much blackmail that he’ll squash all decency like a Republican LaGuardia or Giuliani.

M: Dude! Tim Conway was genius! Tony Wiener is a cockroach! I agree with you one hundred percent about the blackmail that will cost the Democratic Party immensely with this lewd dork.

D: Man! Doesn’t Wisconsin Representative, and Governor Scott Walker’s BFF, Paul Ryan self-identify as a dork?

M: Dude! I think so? No! Wait! Dorky Paul Ryan self-identifies as a quote unquote wonky wonk. Remember how he always becomes concerned for the American constituency only in matters of understanding the deficient charts and graphs that the doltish GOP has adopted without ever rereading or revising?

D: Man! Texas Representative Kay Granger and Senators Cornyn and Cruz still believe in the Paul Ryan Budget Proposal. And, get this, Cornyn was donning Google Glasses on Capitol Hill yesterday like a greedy bully who purports fiscal conservatism and then wears innovative inventions that would not be possible if the United States had adopted the strict and Cornyn-y bias that Dreamers are a detriment and that immigration is only, as Jeb Bush stated, necessary because immigrants are more fertile.

M: Dude! Don’t forget that, as John McCain stated, immigrants mow our lawns, they care for our babies.

D: Man! Meghan McCain sure isn’t a Brussels sprout out of Arizona. She wrote vividly about her sniveling and cursory cussing for the sake of being taken as an outside of the box political icon ten months before her father’s losing the presidency.

M: Dude! Except… I didn’t get fed. Yep, the sad ending to this story about my visit to the White House is that our food didn’t come in time. My mother and Mrs. Bush must have inhaled their meal in record time, because almost as soon as we ordered lunch in the mess, we were called away. My mom was ready to leave. I was given a doggie bag of enchiladas instead. Woof-Woof.