Man! Dude! Session #151

(M)an: Dude! Leon Panetta never was a George W. Bush appointment!

(D)ude: Man! Really?

M: Dude! He just finished the work President Clinton could not complete due to the unnecessarily protracted investigations into his affairs and whatnots by Ken Starr and Newt Gingrich.

D: Man! Leon Panetta was from the Clinton presidency? Would it not have been efficient for George 

W. Bush to have just kept Leon Panetta?

M: Dude! George W. Bush and his Administration were self-sufficient, not efficient. They were self-sufficient to the point of selfishness.

D: Man! Darrell Issa and John Boehner are running parallel with Ken Starr and Newt Gingrich! What doesn’t the American Press get that crucial comparison? Why must historians be brought in to analyze after the fact? I am really tired of David McCullough and Robert Caro needing to be utilized in order to resolve the issues of yesterday.

M: Dude! Did you see how Darrell Issa was disturbed by Ambassador Pickering’s presence on David Gregory’s Meet The Press?

D: Man! Meet The Press’ David Gregory really threw Darrell Issa off into a blabbering fit with occasional sly half-smiles that totally revealed to the audience how crude and cunning these Millennium Republican Tea Partiers actually are!

M: Dude! The Oracle of Omaha Warren Buffett’s honest and ethical children reveal to the world-if it wants to acknowledge this revelation- that his wife and he are authentic and clean, but his Board of Directors are not giving his grown and successful children the opportunity to take over for their father.

D: Man! No wonder Warren Buffett gave away a great chunk of his fortune to the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation! Bill and Melinda Gates are genuine and financially clean as well! I think the new discovery that malaria can be eradicated by injecting mosquitoes with a certain strain of bacteria is going to go a long ways in healing universal loss and pain in underdeveloped global communities that have been ravaged by such tropical diseases.

M: Dude! With Paul Ryan’s Sequestration-propelling so-called quote unquote budget, I don’t think the United States is going to remain a global power with a thriving middle class economy that protects the disenfranchised and gives those who work hard a fair chance at achieving their dreams of stability and success.

D: Man! I don’t agree with you completely on that last point. I think it’s unfair to judge a person’s groceries and label them negatively for wanting ice cream for themselves and their children. What scares me is that Eric Cantor and John Boehner are going to end up deciding to cut welfare and essentially decimate the freedom to decide what constitutes needs and necessaries.

M: Dude! I can sense what’s next on the Republican agenda. When the Republican-created and Republican-driven Sequestration takes effect and the poor and working classes as well as the middle classers start to rise against the useless oppressive means that the GOP is implementing in order to stand against President Obama’s honest brilliance and ability to kick the economy back into motion after 8 years of nonstop havoc and war under George W. Bush’s Administration.

D: Man! Let me ask the question that John Boehner and Mitch McConnell ask next when unemployment rate hikes up… Why?

M: Dude! Let me answer with the same shamelessness of Paul Ryan and Eric Cantor… Why? Well, [grunt and clear the nasal passages and then clear the frog in the throat], the answer to why there is no job growth is President Obama, of course!

D: Man! If the Republican Party’s Sequestration tactics hadn’t gone into effect, the percentage of joblessness in the United States would be at least one or two points lower from where it is right now.

M: Dude! Let me ask the question that John Boehner and Mitch McConnell ask next when the number of open public schools drops for minority students… Why?

D: Man! Well, [grunt and clear the nasal passages and then clear the frog in the throat], the answer to why there are so many public schools closed to minority students in struggling communities in the United States is President Obama, of course!

M: Dude! The United States Congress does not want to allocate funds to keep these threats at a low, but insist that President Obama complete the dire obstacle courses the GOP has constructed for his Administration without complaints.

D: Man! What does the Republican Party want?

M: Dude! They want the Keystone XL Pipeline, which they say will create over 120,000 jobs.

D: Man! That’s a phenomenally low number of jobs to want to adopt the Keystone XL Pipeline! Environmentally sound movement away from our dependence on fossil fuels would result in an economic boom and start the process of reducing our Carbon outputs.

M: Dude! The GOP only wants there to be such an economic mess for US 47% that we disconnect with President Obama and place duplicitous folks like Chris Christie back into office in New Jersey, despite his record of parading around accomplishments that truly were never accomplishments to begin with, like balancing the budget of New Jersey.

D: Man! Duh! Balancing the budget is not even up for debate at the state level!

M: Dude! Am I the only one who still remembers the crudity and the rudeness with which Boehner, Ryan, Romney, and Christie addressed the American audience at the RNC 2012?

D: Man! You are not alone! I remember! I remember everything! I even remember how the American Press looked the other way as George W. Bush robbed the American Treasury of the surplus left in place by President Clinton.

M: Dude! I think the American Press Honchos were bought too by that robbery of the Clinton surplus. And the maiming of all those soldiers who fought senseless wars implemented by Dick Cheney, Condoleezza Rice, Donald Rumsfeld, and George W. Bush in Iraq and Afghanistan!

D: Man! They committed the ultimate crime of diplomacy by grouping two very distinct and separate countries, Iraq and Afghanistan, and then having the American Press also erase the lines between Saddam and Al Qaeda.

M: Dude! That’s what President Obama is fighting against right now politically. John McCain and the Republican Party wants the red line that President Obama has drawn against Syria laced with the blood of our sons and daughters in uniform.

D: Man! Since the 2010 influx of Tea Partiers in the Republican Party and the GOP’s winning the House of Representatives, the percentages of our daughters in uniform facing sexual assault in the military has increased by over thirty-five percent.

M: Dude! The American Press and the Republican Party need to take remedial courses on statistics and critical thinking skills.

D: Man! Don’t forget continuing education units in geography and world history!

M: Dude! The GOP ended the Shah of Iran and perpetuated the consequent backwardness of the Middle East. Right now, the Bush Dynasty is aligned with the fossil fuel lords of Saudi Arabia and the tax evasion tactics of Mitt Romney et al are under scrutiny by FATCA, which Senator Rand Paul is trying to disintegrate.

D: Man! Now we know what happens when White Supremacists Nationalists win the lottery! We have only to look onto these yokel dynasties: Bush, Walton, Romney, and the soon-to-be Rand offensive.

M: Dude! It’s hard to believe we need a place called hell!

D: Man! Michael Hutchence also sang this about religions… all are equal… all are great!