Man! Dude! Session #148

(D)ude: Man! Senator Rand Paul of Kentucky is discreetly touring on behalf of his tea party brand in locations that have early voting, like Iowa, New Hampshire, and South Carolina.

(M)an: Dude! Senator Rand Paul has targeted Democratic voters with speaking engagements at places like Howard University. There are reports that he has promised to “find a place” for undocumented immigrants who desire to live and work in the United States. He’s even trying to come across as a moderate by opposing federal bans on gay marriage.

D: Man! Senator Rand Paul is just experiencing a viral desire to place his hands in as many candy jars as possible to come across as the perfect clown for the job of rebuilding the Republican Party. I say clown with purpose. Seriously, Senator Rand Paul is convinced that he can woo crowds in Eastern Iowa with a combination of his thoughts and policies and his father’s libertarian leanings as well.

M: Dude! Governor Rick Scott of Wisconsin, Paul Ryan’s Republican colleague, is implementing the Affordability Care Act there, but I wonder if the $1.7 million that Wisconsin community health centers are scheduled to receive next year is going to be pocketed considerably instead.

D: Man! Don’t you think the Republican Party is just nesting eggs that they hope will mature and hatch out of the heat placed upon the working classes and Americans in poverty? I think the Republican Party’s hand, via Rand Paul’s recently introducing a bill to repeal the Foreign Account Tax Compliance Act that passed in 2010 and is scheduled to be effective as of January 1, 2014, is totally immersed in corruption at home and bloodshed abroad.

M: Dude! Hold on! Wait a minute! The FATCA law is intended to get financial institutions in foreign locales to report to the IRS information concerning Americans who hold above $50,000 worth of accounts in their firms. Those financial institutions that refuse to report to the IRS will face fines. Senator Rand Paul, on the other hand and underhandedly is misinterpreting FATCA as violating the privacy of United States citizens through this coordination effort between our federal government and foreign governments to prevent duplicitous financial gains via tax evasion schemes by people like Mitt Romney and the Bush Dynasty.

D: Man! I’ve never tasted licorice candy and gumballs together. But with that news you just reported from Mother Jones last Thursday, I can say Senator Rand Paul is a clown who just may have achieved that most disgusting of flavors.

M: Dude! I love licorice!

D: Man! You’re on your own! In fact, you ought to do me a great big favor by going through the jelly beans I plan to gift my mother tomorrow and pick out all the purple and black ones before placing them in the cool jelly bean machine I bought her.

M: Dude! Does it accept coins?

D: Man! Sure! Either way! No one in my family ever appreciated licorice and I’m not about to gift my mother the possibility of coming across such a wretched taste.

M: Dude! I don’t know if I can stomach any licorice today, but I’ll be happy to pick out the two colors of jellybeans that embrace the flavor for a latter time. I think I’ll  have them with some iced coffee later this afternoon.

D: Man! Why do you want to subject yourself to such distasteful concoctions? Well, then again, I take back what I just said. Senator Rand Paul makes my stomach uneasy.

M: Dude! The Fort Worth Municipal Elections are today and I had no clue about being able to create an account on fortworthtexas.gov to experiment around with the redistricting process personally.

D: Man! Did you?

M: Dude! You can make a plan collaboratively with a group. It’s really fascinating. It ought to be required for junior high and high school students of history and government to have to create an account collectively as a class or individually as students to learn firsthand the tribulations of the entire process.

D: Man! I thought that the Office of Management and Budget’s OMB Bulletin No. 13-01 was sufficiently addressing the topic of redistricting quite quantitatively. Personally, I would be unable to trust just a random civilian constituent to come up with a redistricting plan just like abracadabra!

M: Dude! I don’t know. I signed up this morning and found information that the guys at the hardware store would definitely not be able to comprehend. It’s like the ghosts of classrooms past begin haunting you into a plexus of annihilating your self-efficacy and confidence. I think the Tarrant County folks believe that if the constituents get a chance to partake in the process, they will easily come to approve and appreciate whatever plan of redistricting that they do in the end adopt.

D: Man! The Republican Party is practicing shameless prejudicial politics. But I think, underneath, they are planning to seek the benefits of President Obama’s successes and eventually deconstruct the monthly surpluses and the Stock Market highs when the country is in dire straits as a result of President Obama’s exiting from politics in 2017, just like what they did when Clinton left office in 2001 and George W.-Cheney-Rice-Rumsfeld came into power just like Benazir Bhutto’s husband Asif Ali Zardari, through crime and corruption.

M: Dude! Nawaz Sharif is ahead of his opponents right now. Despite the negatives that I’ve heard, I think either Sharif or Imran Khan will win and either will be a great relief to Pakistan, given Zardari’s crime-filled corruption charges that will probably land him behind bars.

D: Man! Bismillah! Remember Freddy Mercury?

M: Dude! Queen’s Bohemian Rhapsody! I love that song!