Anthony Richard: Televangelist
AR: Anthony Richard here. Tonight we’re going to explore the Garden of Eden and the ramifications of Eve’s entrusting the snake and going full monty with Adam. My guests are Phillip Eyes and Bernadette Belcher. First off, lest we forget to pray collectively, let’s gather around and hold hands and give a shout out to Jesus and the Apostles for their brilliant contributions to the only faith whose worshipers are worthy of afterlife and committed to seeing out the sin of Eve by servitude and spreading the gospel. Philip will begin and Bernadette will conclude with an Aesop-like fable from the King James Version of the Holy Book.
PE: Oh, Holy Father, give us the heights of credibility and no spoiled grapes this summer due to the climate changing furiously as it is presently. Allow Senator Inhofe of Oklahoma to have a nocturnal revelation tonight from You, O’ Lord. We pray that the snowballs in Senator Inhofe's keeping have melted and the resulting water not wasted, but utilized in some fashion. We pray that the orchards of Tom Selleck do not suffer and that You forgive his missteps in ensuring that the land Yee bequeathed him after bequeathing him the television program Magnum P.I. shall remain healthy and prosperous despite the Californian circumstances, especially drought and the sinful highways that take Yee’s children into Nevada, particularly Las Vegas. Let the African nations of Nymbia and Maacho not suffer, but praise and sing Your Name as we do.
BB: Yes, Lord! Give us, Your children, anyways and always to salvation and peace. We pray for our Eternal rest in Your care and embrace. Let us be free to express our love for You and Christ. In Christ’s name, Amen.
AR: Thank you Philip Eyes and Bernadette Belcher for the mentioned words. But the true word is that given to us by the King James Version of the Bible. Let us open to 2 Chronicles 16:11-14. As it is stated, “Everything Asa did while he was king is written in The History of the Kings of Judah and Israel. In the thirty-ninth year of his rule, he got a very bad foot disease, but he relied on doctors and refused to ask the LORD for help. He died two years later. Earlier, Asa had his own tomb cut out of a rock hill in Jerusalem. So he was buried there, and the tomb was filled with spices and sweet-smelling oils. Then the people built a bonfire in his honor.”
PE: There is a lot to be gleaned from that passage you quoted, Anthony. The King James Version of the Bible is the only one of its kind.
BB: Yes, there is a musicality in the verse and the Word of God is good. The phones lines are really busy. Is it alright if we take a caller, Anthony?
AR: Definitely. Sure. Our first caller is Pollyanna. Hello, Pollyanna. You’re on the air. What is your question?
Pollyanna (caller #1): This question is for Mr. Philip Eyes. Mr. Eyes, where exactly are the African nations you shared moments earlier?
PE: Thank you for your expressed interest in our African nations of Nymbia and Maacho. They are located in a remote area off Africa’s coast, in the mid-South Atlantic Ocean’s latitude.
Pollyanna: But I do not recall ever hearing about such nations in geography classes, either in middle school or even my college years. Are you certain you have not misspoken and actually meant Namibia and Mozambique?
PE: They hit the Prime Meridian precisely, Pollyanna. (Clearing throat vigorously) I’m sure Anthony and Bernadette can corroborate this information. No. Nymbia and Maacho are very desperate nations apart from the two you named. But that is not to say we won’t have the two nations you named just now in our hearts and prayers. Are you deciding to give to the Lord through such charities as ours abroad?
Pollyanna: Not today. But the African nations who do hit the Prime Meridian are Algeria, Mali, Burkina Faso, and Ghana, if I’m not mistaken.
PE: (Hydrating himself and looking straight into the camera while nodding head) Anthony?
AR: Uh, of course! You are very insightful, Pollyanna. May God continue blessing you with the sharp intellect that you sport.
Pollyanna: Are you writing me off?
BB: We do not write. We only pray and fulfill our capacities to give and share with our listeners the light we have sought now for over 40 years. Isn’t that so, and I am directing this question specifically to Anthony and Philip to expound upon.
AR: Philip, as you were saying, it is quite a gift that the Lord bestowed upon Ms. Pollyanna. And we would really encourage you, Pollyanna, to give today to the Lord through any financial means available to you as we speak. Nymbia and Maacho have come far with the contributions our viewers have sent thus far. Our Ministries are sustainable because of viewers who give openly and often. We are the only independent broadcasting channel to bring the Word of God through Jesus Christ to international communities.
PE: Pollyanna, are you there?
Pollyanna: Yes! I’m not done with my inquiry! Pertaining to Asa in 2 Chronicles 16:11-14, I would recommend going just a few lines of Scriptures back to 2 Chronicles 16: 1-6, that reads as follows in the Contemporary English Version of the Holy Bible published by American Bible Society,
“In the thirty-sixth year of Asa’s rule, King Baasha of Israel invaded Judah and captured the town of Ramah. He started to put troops there to stop people from going in and out of Judah.
When Asa heard about this, he took the silver and gold from his palace and from the LORD’s temple. Then he sent it to Damascus with this message for King Benhadad of Syria: “I think we should sign a peace treaty, just as our fathers did. This silver and gold is a present for you. Would you please break your treaty with King Baasha of Israel and force him to leave my country?”
AR: We’re pressed for time, Pollyanna. What have you to say in respect to Asad?
Pollyanna: That completes my inquiry and confirms my worst fear that you broadcast to the collective subconscious stereotypes that your viewers have sustained as a result of watching your prejudicial reinterpretative convolutions of Scriptures and dictated unilateral daily lifestyle choices that perpetuate a heavily patriarchal arch over all humanity.
AR: (clearing his throat vigorously) We apparently have lost the line to Pollyanna. Let’s take a small commercial break and resume our discussion with the deluge of calls coming in. Stay tuned.
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