Parliamentary Procedurals by [Alverston Associate] Harry Nigel Wright

Parliamentary Procedurals by [Alverston Associate] Harry Nigel Wright

TUESDAY, DECEMBER 31, 2013

Justice Swan Goose Plutarch: Order! Order! The Waterfowl Allegiance of Candle Ridge shall come to order. Do we have a quorum?

Secretary Tree Squirrel Fantasia: Yes! The Honorable Justice Plutarch shall now address missing fellows. The first case to be brought before the Council of Peers and Parties is that of Lady Snow Goose Enid Lawless. Lady Lawless has been missing for approximately three hours.

Justice Swan Goose Plutarch: How many missing varmints have we to consider today?

Councilmember Muscovy Duck Addison: We have a visitor amongst us today who claims to be an appropriate temporary replacement for Lady Lawless. I would like to call on Newcomer Unconditioned American Eskimo Doggie Natalie Denise.

Justice Swan Goose Plutarch: The chair recognizes Newcomer Unconditioned American Eskimo Doggie Natalie Denise.

Newcomer Unconditioned American Eskimo Doggie Natalie Denise: I defer my judgment to Councilmember Muscovy Duck Addison.

Justice Swan Goose Plutarch: The chair recognizes Councilmember Muscovy Duck Addison on behalf of Newcomer Unconditioned American Eskimo Doggie Natalie Denise. What’s the rationale of having a plausible devourer before us, Addison?

Councilmember Muscovy Duck Addison: Your Honor, I stand before you today knowing what I am about to say might disrupt the equilibrium of our habitat. But I submit to you my every feather if the canine devourer before us today were to cause intentional harm.

Justice Swan Goose Plutarch: We need not pluck feathers today over this matter, Addison. But, tell me, how do you define intentional harm and what constitutes unintentional harm?

Councilmember Muscovy Duck Addison: The devourer is just a puppy, Your Honor! She knows not what constitutes nipping and biting for she has foregone those bad habits in the comfort of a responsible household where her siblings were all disciplined with tea-soaked cookies and adopted, except she. Natalie Denise has come to Candle Ridge Park and never intends to return home. I think she believes she is bestowed with a tall tail like the one bestowed upon newborn squirrels for them to grow into eventually.

Secretary Tree Squirrel Fantasia: Now don’t start with my suborder and dare not go near my family, Addison! I have had it up to the highest treetops with you and your kind!

Justice Swan Goose Plutarch: Order! Order!

Councilmember Muscovy Duck Addison: Anseriformes!

Secretary Tree Squirrel Fantasia: Rodentia!

Newcomer Unconditioned American Eskimo Doggie Natalie Denise: Carnivora!

Councilmember Johnny Boehner Barfly: Ohio 8! Yes, bar transporting minors to get abortions! Yes, ban partial-birth abortions! Yes, ban family planning funding in US aid abroad! Yes, restrict interstate transport of minors to get abortions! No, do not allow human embryonic stem cell research! No, do not expand research into the investigation of more embryonic stem cell lines!   

Councilmember Eric Cantor Cat’s-paw: Virginia 7! No, do not commit $192 billion on additional anti-recession stimulus spending! No, do not modify bankruptcy rules to avoid mortgage foreclosures! No, do not commit $825 billion for the economic recovery package! No, do not enforce monitoring TARP funds to ensure more mortgage relief. No, do not bailout GM and Chrysler in the amount of $15 billion! No, do not implement the $60 billion dollar stimulus package for jobs, infrastructure, and energy! No, do not resuscitate public housing in the United States!

Councilmember Kevin McCarthy Mountebank: California 23! Just say no to drugs! Just say no to civil unions because marriage is defined as one-man-one-woman! Support the ten commandments and abstinence-only sex education! Let’s ban federal health coverage including abortion! Let’s build more prisons and uphold the death penalty!  

Councilmember Cathy Catty McMorris Rodgers Rhea: Washington 5! Just say no to prohibiting job discrimination based on sexual orientation! Just say no to enforcing laws to protect the LGBT community against hate crimes! Just say no to $40 billion dollars for greener public schools! Just say no to an additional $10.2 billion for federal education and health and human services programs and projects! 

Councilmember James Jimmy Lankford Lamprey: Oklahoma 5! I am all of the above, from what Johnny said to what Cathy just got done telling!

Councilmember Lynn Jenkins Jingoist: Kansas 2! I second that! I just want to share a telling they forgot and I remember! Oops! I’ve forgotten! But you may see my stances listed at house.ontheissues.org!

Councilmember Virginia Foxx Fink: North Carolina 5! I stand by my predecessors and would like to give the floor over to my proceeding colleague!

Councilmember Greg Walden Whelp: Oregon 2! If I may, I would like to offer my support to those who came before me. Councilmember Johnny, Councilmember Eric-

Justice Swan Goose Plutarch: Order! Quiet in the chamber! Councilmember Greg, would you please proceed to the bench! Hmm… Hmm… Upon listening to of all eight of you that have come after 

Newcomer Unconditioned American Eskimo Doggie Natalie-Denise, I have concluded you are not worthy of even your own countrymen and countrywomen and lack the much-needed feathers for a good old plucking, which all eight of you deservedly are due!

Secretary Tree Squirrel Fantasia: If I may speak for just a second or more? I do detect a feather or four upon the necks of all eight of these bipedal scapegrace poltroons! And they call themselves the sapient!

Parliamentary Procedurals by [Alverston Associate] Harry Nigel Wright

Man! Dude! Session #249

(M)an: Dude! The Congressional Republicans under John Boehner convened in Washington, DC for 126 days in 2013. The House of Representatives members were basically paid $1,380.95 per day with benefits despite having taken 239 days off from Capitol Hill in order to tend to supposed district business in their home states. And John Boehner took home $223,500 because of his speakership.

(D)ude: Man! The Republican Party is stating that extending unemployment benefits will cost US $25 billion dollars. Come on! The Republican Party deliberately set forth sequestration cuts and the government shutdown that lasted 16 days and cost US $24 billion dollars. The obstructionist inaction on part of Republican House Speaker John Boehner and his caucus burned the same amount of money that United States citizens need right now to get through the dastardly weather conditions winter’s set forth in front of US in the Midwest and the Northeast.  

M: Dude! There are families going without electricity for over a week now in places where the snow and ice have torn down power lines. Eight deaths have been reported in such darkness thus far due to carbon monoxide poisoning. Apparently, when you use generators exclusively to heat your home in brutal winters, you must refill the devices with fuel often and folks tend to forget to do so in an open-air environment and can die within minutes due to hazardous fumes.     

D: Man! The Republican Party members in the House and Senate have turned their backs on the disenfranchised and the United States Press Corps is a brownnosing flub that cannot be trusted exclusively. These days, England provides better press coverage of the calamities American households are facing in midst of House Speaker John Boehner’s refusal to bring to the floor of Congress issues affecting the most vulnerable in the United States. That is the Republican strategy now: President Obama did not negotiate on the backs of the poor, working, and middle classers and, therefore, the American people are suffering. Come on! House Speaker John Boehner and his Republican colleagues are convinced that is the winning strategy.     

M: Dude! If President Obama has compromised on the backs of the poor, working, and middle classers through negotiating deals like the kind President Clinton negotiated with then-Speaker Newt Gingrich, Speaker John Boehner would have proceeded to impeach President Obama as well on charges that what was negotiated was a really bad deal on part of the President of the United States for the American people.

D: Man! Scalp hair is so priceless for so many that I cannot bring myself to express my rage by stating that I could tear my hair out. But how the Republican Party has deferred to obstructing all the communication pathways on Capitol Hill is noxious. George W. Bush extended federal benefits in 2008, permitting the cycle of care and consideration that have allowed the jobless to collect as much as 99 weeks of unemployment checks, but that too has dropped down to 73 weeks in some states.      

M: Dude! Bloomberg News is the source you’re referencing. Michael Bloomberg is a respectable billionaire with two wonderful daughters who have an actual heartfelt interest in mobilizing disenfranchised children and their families. I think one of Bloomberg’s daughters is a competitor expert in horsemanship and has tried to bring the game to inner city youth who would never have the opportunity otherwise. Cannot say the same about the Koch brothers. David and Charles Koch are heartless cronies that waddle around like Scrooge McDuck, Donald Duck’s maternal uncle. I think Joan Rivers and Rand Paul have directly quoted Scrooge McDuck in the case of the former and expressed a similar chill towards all of humanity in the case of the latter. “Me- I’m different! Everybody hates me, and I hate everybody!” goes perfectly with Rivers’ latest book title and comedy tour. “That’s the trouble with you young scalawags of today… You expect to start in at the top instead of working up from the bottom, like I did!” sums up the Republican mindset.    

D: Man! I’m doing some calculations of my own right now about how much money was wasted as a result of the House Republicans choosing to only show up in Washington, DC for business for 126 days this year, thirty days less than what the calendar usually allots legislators, which is 156 days. Eric Cantor is responsible for having chopped off 30 days from the 2013 calendar.  

M: Dude! Darrell Issa is reintroducing the Benghazi, Libya tragedy into the 2014 calendar already. This Benghazi obsession of the Republican Party is costing taxpayer money that ought to be invested in relieving the horrors brought on by the winter storms in places like New York and Maine and Pennsylvania, and the Great Plains. Or, the least the Republican Obstructionists could do is to implement an action plan to prevent people from having to take on the double threat of insecurity by at least allowing unemployment benefits to last throughout the winter and spring so that the stress to survive is somewhat less strenuous then than now.   

D: Man! There are 234 Republican House members in Congress right now receiving $174,000 salaries. Take those numbers and consider that this 113^th Congress took 30 days off than usual, you can calculate that for 156 days of work they would have made approximately $1,115.38 per day. But they only put in 126 days in Washington, DC in 2013 and therefore made $1,380.95 per day.

M: Dude! They owe US approximately $33,461.40 to $41,428.50 per Republican House Obstructionist member! That’s $7.83 million to $9.69 million in wasted money by the House Republican Obstructionists!

D: Man! Multiply $7.83 million by 5 years worth of Republican Obstructionism and multiply $9.69 million by 5 years worth of Republican Obstructionism there as well too, that’s like 38 and point something-something million to 48 and point something-something million that Eric Cantor and his party owe the American people.  

M: Dude! Add enough interest to all that, and that $25 billion dollar price tag seems worthwhile after all the weather and economic disasters that the Republican Obstructionists have tried to drill into the American conscience.

D: Man! And what about the places Pope Francis I prayed for in his Christmas address on Wednesday?

M: Dude! “The embrace of God does not wound” and “All religions are true” must be hammered into the Republican Obstructionist conscience somehow. However, there is another way as well: Vote the Republican Obstructionists out of office.

D: Man! All the 2014 elections coverage and background you need is on Wikipedia! I guess the Koch Brothers haven’t gotten to them yet!

M: Dude! Ora pro nobis!

Man! Dude! Session #248

(D)ude: Man! Who was behind the orchestration of the strikes at Wal-Mart and McDonald’s and other fast food places this holiday season? These strikes ought to be orchestrated again around Spring 2014, when absentee ballots are sent out and Fall 2014,  when the critical elections will be depending on high voter turnout.   

(M)an: Dude! It is a self-disservice for people to stay home and lament and not vote in the 2014 midterms. Our futures depend on our voting against those who have made the perverse habit of delaying and discounting and clearly not caring enough to enact legislation that the President of the United States can sign off on so us poor, working, and middle classers can have a peace of mind about our families’ futures.  

D: Man! I was looking at the voting requirements in Alabama and Alaska for the past three days and definitely understand why more than 40% of US do not show up to vote. The ballots and the candidates and propositions listed on them require a higher functioning reading comprehension than folks like myself have acquired.

M: Dude! I have to admit that I had a hard time understanding the Fort Worth Independent School District’s ballot propositions concerning bonds etcetera. The language may have been politically correct in its sterile lawyer jargon and vocabulary, but what about folks who haven’t attained that level of education to actually glean anything from what they must read in the voting booth?

D: Man! Poll taxes still exist! They’re just disguised as legal terminology and indirect intimidation tactics like in Alabama, where the Republican Secretary of State Jim Bennett’s website alabamavote.gov mentions inside a yellow box that the decision to NOT vote will not affect constituents’ rights to receive public assistance.

M: Dude! The status quo purposefully convolutes the entire process of registering to vote in the United States. The superfluous messiness the status quo deliberately injects into the steps needed to vote in elections in the United States leaves over forty percent of the population shackled to shame and the plausible horror of having the extent of their  illiteracy found out.

D: Man! The most shocking element in rediscovering the extent of one’s illiteracy through voting is the pain and anxiety of not being able to confide in the poll workers to assist with interpreting the purposefully convoluted paragraphs of the proposals. The last time I voted, only one poll worker was helpful in guiding and assisting with the entire process. In fact, this lone gentleman had empathy and the energy to keep aware of what kind of experience every voter was having throughout the lines.     

M: Dude! Makes me remember another thoughtful soulful lady who helped me assist  friends who only spoke Spanish. I had to fill out a line below their addresses which irked the other poll workers, but this one very energetic silver haired lady stood by our side and talked us through the process and even accompanied us into the voting booth just in case if we needed any clarification, but I think it was to guard us against her pestilent colleagues.

D: Man! Who is there to call on to end the biblical oppression that is being grated into the minds and souls of countless through the television medium? Billy Graham’s son always makes sure to emphasize that his father’s ministry for wounded war veterans and their spouses only helps those who believe and live the creed that a marriage is between a man and a woman, not same-sex couplings.

M: Dude! Is Patricia Cornwell still friends with Billy Graham and his family? I think she and her heroine Kay Scarpetta’s niece Lucy Farinelli came to the revelation of being intellectually above the confines of sexual orientation at about the same time.   

D: Man! In 1980 Patricia Daniels wed an English professor, Charles L. Cornwell whose name she took and retained after their 1989 divorce, hence the name Patricia Cornwell for one of the most brilliant minds to surface in the final decade of the twentieth century.      

M: Dude! She wrote a 1997 biography about Ruth Bell Graham, Billy Graham’s wife. She’s politically a fan of George H. W. Bush, who she calls “Big George” and admits to having voted for George W. Bush and regretting the decision afterwards, likening the United States as a theocracy, not a democracy, under the latter. I disagree. It was a dictatorial regime that both George H. W. Bush and George W. had premeditated in order to carry out the mass sacrifices of American lives on 9/11/01 and in the Iraq and Afghanistan wars.

D: Man! What about Bill Clinton’s presidency and Hank Crumpton?

M: Dude! Another equally lethal perpetrator of terrorism that is Edward Snowden has eclipsed Bill Clinton’s missed opportunity to bring to justice the eventual perpetrator of 9/11/01 and Hank Crumpton’s ensuing frustration.   

D: Man! I believe Darrell Issa and the entire incoming Class of 2010 Congressional  Republicans serves the Koch Brothers exclusively and does not care to consider anything but how much it can attain financially through its political posturing. The Koch Brothers have attained academic success and bought the Supreme Court of the United States with an undisclosed number of fellow likeminded monstrosities like Sheldon Adelson and the Walton Siblings, and only have one pastime in which to indulge their perversities, and that is to humiliate the disenfranchised like they do in dictatorial regimes, the likes of which are only challenged by playground bullies.

M: Dude! Darrell Issa and the Class of 2010 Congressional Republicans are humiliating the disenfranchised and making a mockery of the all the Holy Books, the Bible particularly, in the exact same fashion as the perpetrator of 9/11/01 and his followers dishonored the Koran, subjecting oppressive measures upon the lives of females, as the state legislatures throughout the United States are implementing antiabortion laws and criminal consequences that will totally obliterate an American woman’s rights to her body and autonomy.

D: Man! Imagine a United States without sovereignty or freedom! I wish Pope Francis I could oversee the United States Congress right now as well as tending to the papacy.

M: Dude! In the words of Pope Francis I, “the embrace of God does not wound” and “all religions are true”! He really has translated heartstrings across the globe, hasn’t he? And we mustn’t forget Wikipedia’s outstanding listing and coverage of the mechanics involved in the 2014 Elections in the United States and across all continents! Seriously! Just Google Search for the 2014 Elections and click on Wikipedia’s links and be surprised! State-by-state and country-to-country! It’s all right there!

Man! Dude! Session #247

(M)an: Dude! What’s the matter? It’s Christmas Eve! What are these envelops doing all lined across the table over there anyways? You only had until yesterday to post Christmas cards! How was your parents’ annual dinner party?

(D)ude: Man! The annual dinner party was a smash! Everybody liked my gift idea. We all handed unmarked envelops to Uncle Paul containing whatever cents and dollar bills we could afford to gift to the UNICEF K.I.N.D. Fund.

M: Dude! It’s an awesome collaboration between UNICEF’s United States Fund and MSNBC’s “The Last Word with Lawrence O’Donnell” that provides classroom desks to Malawian primary schools that serve upwards of 3,000 students in what the UNICEF website states as multiple shifts.

D: Man! I think the first 100 desks were delivered in February 2011 and the goal was to reach 46,000 desks to be delivered across Malawi to Kids In Need of Desks. But not only did the K.I.N.D. Fund raise enough to meet that first marker, it has built a factory in Malawi where desks are manufactured by local workers trained by the original foreign manufacturers of these desks.

M: Dude! Edward Snowden is addressing the people of England after the Queen’s speech tomorrow. The backwoodsman doesn’t particularly like being under the watchful eyes of President Putin in Russia. But I sincerely believe Edward Snowden ought to be subjected to Siberia’s chill and the teachings of Tom Cruise’s personal wing of Scientology.

D: Man! Subject Edward Snowden to watching Tom Cruise’s Mission Impossible 4: Ghost Protocol over and over again while in Siberia. The dust storms of Dubai depicted in that film will keep him cozy at all times.        

M: Dude! Edward Snowden is really obsessed with Tom Cruise’s characters. At this stage in his life, I consider Snowden is dancing around in his knickers while concocting cocktails and rehearsing the scripts of all the rightwing moves that his idol Dick Cheney gives on a day-by-day basis. 

D: Man! Edward Snowden is being showered with accolades from the rightwing. Edward Snowden-like right-wingers are the engineers of terrorist attacks like 9/11/01. The rightwing conservatives in England are the Tories and David Cameron is favoring with the Tories’ rationales for quite some time now. The face of terrorism in the world right now is Edward Snowden. He is the mouthpiece for the GOP Republicans in the United States.  

M: Dude! I agree that the rightwing and the GOP Republicans in the United States are trying to recreate 9/11/01 somewhere in the United States. But I think the Tories in England and David Cameron are polluting the European Union and making the EU embrace and spread racialist sentiments for the disenfranchised that Rupert Murdoch was so instrumental with orchestrating through his media empire in England and the United States.

D: Man! The Syrian Refugee Crisis is really hurting the economies of host nations like Lebanon, Jordan. Turkey, Iraq, Egypt, and Israel. And to make matters even more severe for these host nations, the Tories in England and the GOP Republicans in the United States have been legislating through unnecessary crises like the Government Shutdown in the USA which wasted at least $24 billion dollars, fractions of which organizations like Amnesty International is trying to secure for the nations providing shelter and services to Syrian refugees, 52% of these refugees being children.

M: Dude! There is a genocidal disregard in the air, isn’t there? And the Tories and the GOP Republicans are behaving really badly and need to be ousted from office, for the sake of the entire world. Vince Cable is not a rambling fool in English politics. He is the only brave soul that has gathered the courage to decry David Cameron as the Enoch Powell of the moment, Enoch Powell being the man who spread immigration panics across England and racist propaganda much the same way as Representative from Virginia Eric Cantor decries the diplomacy efforts of the Obama Administration and the implementation of the Affordable Care Act by sharing supposed true stories from his constituents about how charity is the way of the future, dismissing the fact that there has been no trickling down of wealth via Trickle Down Economics in the United States or elsewhere.

D: Man! Did you hear Faux News’ Ed Henry stating to President Obama about “God forbid, there be another 9/11” during the 2 hour and 15 minute press conference at the White House just before Christmas recess? 

M: Dude! The GOP Republicans cannot keep their strategies from coming out into the open. And they resent their own intellectual impotence, especially Representative Darrell Issa of California. And the same can be said of Faux News’ Ed Henry. The former releases all government documents to CNN and the latter consistently badgered the President about the glitches and the post-glitches of the Affordable Care Act and how Ed Henry from Faux News believed there were lies involved somewhere.  

D: Man! Talking about Enoch Powell, have you heard how the Koch Brothers have purchased the hiring rights for all appointments at Florida State University in Tallahassee for the meager sum of $1.5 million dollars?

M: Dude! The Koch Brothers are now targeting public higher education? That’s a very treacherous way in which to infiltrate the minds of generations to come, like how millennials are being targeted by subpar programming on television such as the Pivot and Fusion channels. I saw Senator John McCain’s daughter disrespecting herself on the Pivot channel, while Jorge Ramos is promoting an English-only dialogue in the United States on the Fusion Channel. And then there are the obscenities of channels that too are linked to ABC and Disney, such as History and A&E that are promoting back the misogynist Phil Robertson and his clan of lewd sons and disrespected wives.

D: Man! These channels and their degradation of the United States of America are deplorable. The only way to get back from the GOP Republican brinkmanship is to secure two valid forms of identification and vote in 2014’s Midterm Elections in the United States! One world, one chance, your vote, the 2014 Midterms Elections in the United States!

Shankardas Kesarilal, aka Shailendra (1923 – 1966), translated from the Hindi by Manfred Spencer Alverston & Associates

Shankardas Kesarilal, aka Shailendra (1923 – 1966), translated from the Hindi by Manfred Spencer Alverston & Associates

Oh little darling child, in your closed fist!

Oh Little Darling Child, what is it that you carry in your closed fist?

Inside this closed fist is our fate

Inside this closed fist is our destiny

We have overpowered fortune.

What is it that those innocent and perceptive eyes behold?

In these eyes the illumination of hope flourishes

In these eyes the illumination of hope brandishes

The dream of the world that is due to arrive soon is adorned.

Oh Little Darling Child, what is it that you carry in your closed fist?

If by charity, you’re dispensed precious pearls, will you accept them or not?

Tell me, what you will make of life’s tears?

If by charity, we’re dispensed precious pearls, we will still never accept them.

We will wear the rosaries made with life’s tears instead.

Nevertheless, living is diverting when you must walk about fighting hardships.

Oh Little Darling Child, what is it that you carry in your closed fist?

Dear children, do not hide from us, please tell us!

Please explain to us, what will the future be like?

In the future, every one of us will have a crown atop our heads.

There will no longer be throngs of hungry people.

There will be no reigns of suffering

The time will change, that is written upon our stars!

Oh Little Darling Child, what is it that you carry in your closed fist?

Shankardas Kesarilal, aka Shailendra (1923 – 1966), translated from the Hindi by Manfred Spencer Alverston & Associates

Man! Dude! Session #246: Bubblegum Lightweights??

(D)ude: Man! I cannot believe that preschoolers are involved in charity drives. Their parents will be fundamentally against any tax revenues, but will take entire camera crews to the sites where the spirit of Christmas is guaranteed protection against any criticism. 

(M)an: Dude! I have decided to give to the UNICEF K.I.N.D. fund in order to finance a Malawian child’s education for an entire year.  

D: Man! That’s a great Christmas gift, unlike what those preschoolers were dispensing at the charity drive: Toys that were certainly out of place philosophically, like the “haves” were driving home the unconscious sting of class warfare for those who the “haves” labeled as the “have nots” that is too prevalent amongst schoolchildren of all ages.  

M: Dude! Imagine the seasonal shame of having to be one of those students in the classroom who must endure the experience of being on camera in the local news depending on how much your parents cannot afford.

D: Man! Imagine the seasonal shame of having to be a vulnerable child parishioner in the church who must endure the experience of being handed hand-me-downs and food items from the collective pantry. Have you ever experienced the feel of used clothes when you know exactly who discarded them?

M: Dude! Did you watch the way Martha Raddatz of ABC failingly attempted to find fault and flaw throughout her interview with Secretary of State John Kerry on Sunday’s This Week? She also has that deteriorated belligerent attitude of the far right towards the President’s decision to not exercise military might in the Middle East, but diplomacy instead.  

D: Man! You now know why President Obama and Secretary Kerry choose to not share every piece of diplomacy that they’re engaged in throughout the world. Martha Raddatz was always a favorite of mine, but has reduced to rather combative absurdities, like the popularly reelected President of the United States fight wars all over the world map but without any casualties.      

M: Dude! What was Martha Raddatz thinking in Vietnam when she abruptly asked about Secretary Kerry’s suffering a civilian casualty as a soldier himself in the Vietnam War?

D: Man! That’s the mentality of the American Press, that the Democratic Party must also fight wars, but without any casualties of course.  

M: Dude! American journalists like Martha Raddatz encourage the European Union to not take into consideration the ethnically diverse and non-Christian sectors of humanity.  

D: Man! American news reporters like Martha Raddatz are bad influences upon the EU?

M: Dude! Certainly! Have you read Amnesty International’s briefing entitled, “An International Failure: The Syrian Refugee Crisis” online?

D: Man! The mathematics of the far right is one of humanitarian cruelty parallel to the Third Reich’s killing of at least 6 million Jews and countless others who had the courage to dissent and fight during that Holocaust. The Congressional Republicans since 2010 have burned countless billions that could have gone towards peace processes globally and economic boosts for US.  

M: Dude! Republicans only want to inflict such economic and social havoc amongst the disenfranchised in the United States that disenfranchised Americans begin to loath the millions of Syrian refugees and the safe havens provided to them at the moment by countries that are strained financially due to their open door policies and the subsequent depletion in resources because of inaction on the part of the United States and European Union.  

D: Man! I despise the term “fiscal conservatism” that Representative Paul Ryan of Wisconsin declares his Republican colleagues and he practice. They rather waste 24 billion dollars and not show up to work more often than not. The 24 billion dollars, that the Republican Party burned through their resolve to shutdown rather than compromise, could have been spent wisely to assist the main countries of refuge identified in the Amnesty International Briefing on December 13th.  

M: Dude! The Republican Party Sequestration, the Republican Party Government Shutdown, and The Republican Party Megawatt Billionaires have orchestrated a malicious criminal network of injustices in Eurasia. They have exported their hatred for same sex couples and families to Russia. They have exported their border policing frenzy to Europe.        

D: Man! The Republican Party is polluting the United States with the National Rifle Association. You’ve got self-described secessionists that would probably be better served with free tuition to a community college that provides a brief history of  the United States with James W. Loewen classics in place of textbooks.   

M: Dude! I don’t think a lot of these secessionists can even construct a run-on sentence. I think the closest they’ve ever come to even a sentence fragment has constituted of the defacements their friends and they inked or cut onto the restroom walls in junior high school.

D: Man! Do you think that Chris Christie really believes that his eldest son attending Princeton University will keep him from socializing with people from the other side of the tracks?

M: Dude! The railway tracks were in fashion around the time of President Reagan and Molly Ringwald’s characters stitching their own prom dresses and chewing bubblegum in Saturday morning detention. But Representative Paul Ryan of Wisconsin would probably reduce Molly Ringwald’s film families’ paychecks to where even President Clinton had never imagined Republicans could get that low.      

D: Man! Ronald Reagan never chewed gum or stitched prom dresses, did he? You know, that which you just said could constitute for a misuse of something in grammar. Imagine if Ronald Reagan had stitched prom dresses like Molly Ringwald in Pretty In Pink or chewed gum as she did in The Breakfast Club!

M: Dude! Ronald Reagan was such a homophobic, xenophobic lightweight- much more than Margaret Thatcher some would say- that the closest to the color pink he would agree to get was in his ties or socks.

D: Man! How did you know? I’ve overheard the same about many Republican men! In fact, Chris Christie’s penchant for fuchsia is quite visible in his ties. But has anyone ever seen Christie’s socks?

Man! Dude! Session #245: "All is [not] lost. Never give up."

(M)an: Dude! Robert Redford’s latest film release is a must-see. Robert Redford is in every frame. In fact, he’s a refreshingly singular presence throughout the movie.

(D)ude: Man! Robert Redford hasn’t won a Best Actor Oscar yet! He’s 77-years-old, but defies all the odds stacked against him decade after decade, doesn’t he?

M: Dude! He’s only listed in the end credits as “Our Man” and I totally agree. Robert Redford’s a rugged American icon, defying all odds and focusing always on newer scripts and fresher talent through the Sundance Film Festival that he founded in 1978 in order to gain more ground to break down the commercial barriers to give US such  masterworks as Jeremiah Johnson and  Ordinary People.

D: Man! Do you think he met Judith Guest? I always wanted to know more about that one author who created the pain that was Beth Jarrett’s!  

M: Dude! Judith Guest’s online! You must visit her website, but know that it was last updated in 2005. But if you have the sincerest intent, you can email Judith Guest if you so desire.

D: Man! I’ll just ask you about what you read. What in particular struck you as interesting?

M: Dude! Probably the fact that she and Redford were both born in 1936 really stayed with me. They’re of the same generation. They’re of that generation whose latest reads in the 1970s comprised of Norma Klein and Laura Z. Hobson novels.

D: Man! Did you see Robert Redford’s interview on BBC America? It was brief, but contained a brilliant take on the politics in Washington. Redford expressed shame towards the way the conservatives have refused to work alongside the President of the United States Barack Obama and kept government stalling for the past three years.   

M: Dude! It is shameful! Did you notice how the GOP Senators ordered cots to sleep in during their scheduled talk-a-thon that would have gone on from Wednesday afternoon to sometime Saturday evening?

D: Man! But they did not care to even make an effort! Concerning the cots that were set up in the Old Senate Chamber last week, there should be a rough estimate given to the press as to who availed the opportunity or not.  

M: Dude! Unemployment benefits are expiring, yet the wealthiest Americans and corporations are protected from having to pay additional taxes once again! And Congress is blaming the President for having ended the recession without having presented the plight of the working poor and diminishing middle class. And worse, the American people are blaming the President as well for their struggles to make ends meet. 

D: Man! I just hope that the dissonance doesn’t result in what the Republican Party is banking on right now and that is the mistrust of the American public towards the President of the United States. The Democratic Party is also buying into these premeditated notions and, in all honesty, I believe there are a lot of Democratic members who are siding with the Republican Party mentality of “So what if the President got US out of dire straits in his first term! What’s he done since?”

M: Dude! The numbers reveal too much and ought to be reemphasized. The Republican Party members have only revealed their deliberate obstructionist agenda in which the American people are not even factored into the consequences of the GOP’s juvenile tactics. Just look at how the GOP has burned $24 billion dollars through the government shutdown it insisted upon.  

D: Man! They burned $24 billion dollars and now they’re proud for having averted another government shutdown for the next two years through the bipartisan agreement that was reached last week that will only save around $26 billion dollars? The Affordable Care Act will save US $222 billion dollars through mass implementation! 

M: Dude! According to Dr. Kavita Patel of The Brookings Institute, ideally the Marketplace plus Medicaid Expansion would both be available to all Americans but the Medicaid Expansion portion of the Affordable Care Act is being blocked in 25 plus states like Texas and Wyoming where Republican governors have blocked off accepting Medicaid Expansion.  

D: Man! Medicaid Expansion would save the states a lot of money in the long run! So much for fiscal conservatism that the Republican Party claims as its fundamental concern! The GOP only wants retribution for President Obama never engaging in new war fronts and choosing diplomacy over sacrificing our daughters and sons in uniform.

M: Dude! Governor Chris Christie of New Jersey ought to be placed under oath and asked whether or not he was directly involved in the George Washington Bridge shutdown drama involving possible retribution for Fort Lee’s Democratic mayor not supporting Christie’s reelection efforts. 

D: Man! Did you know that Peter O’Toole died just moments ago?

M: Dude! I’ll never forget his performance as King Priam in 2004’s Troy opposite Brad Pitt’s Achilles. Remember that moment where he requests that his son Hector’s body be returned to him and Achilles agrees and puts off all combat for 11 days so King Priam can arrange a proper funeral for Hector?   

D: Man! Peter O’Toole was about ten years too late. If he had played King Priam in a 1994 version of the story of the Trojan War than I would not have been so ridiculed by my parents and siblings for my sketches of Gaius Julius Caesar as part of my fulfilling the extracurricular credit requirements for Latin 101 in high school.

M: Dude! Peter O’Toole had played opposite a Julius Caesar in 1979’s Caligula, written by Gore Vidal and costarring Helen Mirren. Peter O’Toole plays Emperor Tiberius.

D: Man! You should have told me this then! And to think I never sketched again after being told my Caesar depictions were more like O’Toole’s Lawrence of Arabia! Yes, I did fulfill the requirements of the course rather successfully, but I did not dare bring those sketches home. I am certain one of my parents would have foisted a keffiyeh with an agal upon my Peter O’Toole-like Caesars!

M: Dude! God bless Peter O’Toole! I seriously think that the keffiyeh and the agal would be an unbeknownst threat to US today if it had not been for his portrayal of T.E. Lawrence!

Nelson Mandela (18 July 1918 - 5 December 2013)

(D)ude: Man! The right to vote in the United States is in peril and there is no foundation or organization that is enfranchising the disenfranchised! There aren’t holiday campaigns promoting suffrage and the United States Postal Service. Instead, we have Jeff Bezos promoting drone delivery services and the Republican Party quietly tending to the business of cheating US in the 2014 midterms by overriding the trends that result in greater voter turnout, like early voting and being able to accommodate people at the polls into the late night hours.  

(M)an: Dude! Did you see the celebrations in South Africa throughout the early morning hours following the passing of Nelson Mandela the day before? I recorded The Rachel Maddow Show and if you fast-forward into the show 26 minutes and 18 seconds, there is a White South African guy on the right hand side of the screen dancing and high fiving a Black South African woman in a robe. Both are so caught up in the crowd’s song and dance that they are totally unaware they are being filmed, despite the jam of cameras and journalists surrounding them on all sides.

D: Man! I’ve got to take a look! Did you just say that it was 26 minutes into the Maddow broadcast from December 5th?

M: Dude! You’re about right. The actual high fiving doesn’t appear until 26 minutes and 35 seconds into the broadcast. The song and dance routine that breaks out between the two South Africans lasts a total of one minute and fifteen seconds.

D: Man! Talking about calculations, I think Nelson Mandela’s twenty-seven year imprisonment was a way to protect the intellectual powerhouse from certain sudden death. And I also think that there is an apartness being hammered into America’s Soul by the Republican Party and the Supreme Court.

M: Dude! American apartheid and the death of civil rights in the United States is upon US when Ohio Senator Rob Portman can come on This Week with George Stephanopoulos and insist that a living wage would only cause more jobs lost as a result because only 2% of Americans work for the minimum wage and of that group less than 3/10 of 1% is below the poverty level and 50% of them are youth, specifically 16 to 24-year-olds.

D: Man! That’s a mouthful! But, then again, that’s a tactic of the GOP, isn’t it?

M: Dude! Illinois Senator Dick Durbin responded to Senator Rob Portman’s mouthful. Senator Dick Durbin clearly spelled out how the Affordable Care Act and a living wage would economically benefit not just individual lives but the economy of the United States as well. Senator Dick Durbin continued to make the case for bipartisanship by emphasizing that Ronald Reagan had supported the expansion of the earned income tax credit that had been enacted in 1975.    

D: Man! Did you know that lifting sanctions in Iran would allow the country access to $3.5 billion dollars of previously frozen funds?

M: Dude! That’s good! According to the BBC, there is one concern that will now be addressed to redress the lives of all Iranian families. According to their estimates, a basketful of nutritionally balanced food cost a family approximately $340 dollars per week. Now, that same basketful of nutritionally balanced food will be reduced to approximately $80 dollars per week.     

D: Man! How did Iranian families afford to feed an entire household when sanctions were in place?

M: Dude! Contrary to how the conservatives and neoconservatives in the United States government choose to label the Iranian people and their government, Iran does have in place a supplemental income program. However, like recipients of SNAP and WIC in the United States, many Iranian families go without a meal per day. 

D: Man! Amazon is utilizing the United States Postal Service because of their cheaper delivery rates worldwide. But news of possible drone carriers of the future for Amazon really frustrates me. Jeff Bezos would be best advised not to treat people and robotics as competitors in future markets. There’s going to have to be a good number of human employees looking out for those drone carriers.

M: Dude! How so?

D: Man! Well, you’ll have to monitor that there aren’t second amendment and NRA enthusiasts and/or members playing clay pigeon hunter with the drone devices. I mean, logistically, how much air traffic pollution can the world truly sustain? If we don’t do anything about the environment for humanity’s sake, at least we can do so for interspatial commerce.   

M: Dude! Jeff Bezos needs to build up the case for people first, not toys. And we as a country need to build up the United States Postal Service. Do you know the hours our postal service worker spends delivering the mail daily?

D: Man! It’s really an exhausting load that our postman must handle. He begins his route at around 8 AM and doesn’t get through until 7:30 PM. I know because this apartment complex is his last stop in the evening. He’s actually responsible for several routes, because I see him in neighboring blocks that I’m certain the United States Postal Service had assigned to at least two other workers.    

M: Dude! You know, I remember them too! I don’t think the United States Congress or Wall Street understand how the postman/woman are a part of the family and the neighborhood. Twelve hours daily is too much and there is no guarantee from Corporate America that our postal workers will be able to hold onto their jobs. The two retirement plans they could avail in 1984 were the Civil Service Retirement System, or CSRS, and the Federal Employees Retirement System, or FERS.

D: Man! What about after 1984?

M: Dude! The CSRS was replaced with 1987’s FERS. But keep in mind that there was the Federal Erroneous Retirement Coverage Corrections Act, or FERCCA, that passed both the Senate and the House and was signed by President Clinton in 2000.

D: Man! The Reagan Administration was never looked upon suspiciously for not having had the foresight to enact legislation like FERCCA immediately?

M: Dude! The time to sign up for Obamacare is now. Either you sign up now or forever hold your grievances with injustices in the United States. And this is the season to be securing passports and other forms of valid identification in order to cast a ballot in the midterm elections in 2014.

D: Man! Nelson Mandela and President Clinton had a real friendship, didn’t they? I think President Clinton’s flip-flopping on the Affordable Care Act and subsequent alignment against President Obama was too much for Mandela’s soul to take.

M: Dude! I think of the death of his granddaughter that way. Otherwise, I am certain Nelson Mandela would have championed onwards and perhaps rivaled Bolivia’s Carmelo Flores Laura in years graced.

D: Man! Desmond Tutu and the Truth and Reconciliation Commission’s handling of the past and building up South Africa through tearing down the walls of silence was the first strategic step that newly elected President Mandela took in 1994. President Clinton had been in office just over a year?

M: Dude! The walls of silence need to be kept from resurrection, beginning with the United States and the voter crises that the GOP have scheduled for next year.

D: Man! The GOP is too silent to not be doing anything under the radar! I knew it! 

Man! Dude! Session #243: "The GOP's Layers of Deceit"

(M)an: Dude! President Obama’s scheduled to appear with Chris Matthews at American University tomorrow evening. I wonder if the students would know whether they are using textbooks by Prentice Hall or Wadsworth Publishing?  

(D)ude: Man! I remember using Prentice Hall textbooks in elementary, middle, and high school. I think Wadsworth Publishing is what the graduate schools utilize heavily. What’s up with your sudden interest in for-profit companies that provide books to all levels of public and private education institutions?

M: Dude! I am beginning to wonder because Erika Andiola kept criticizing President Obama on The Rachel Maddow Show as the reason why her mother and brother were abruptly taken from their home by Immigration and Customs Enforcement agents on the night of January 2, 2013.

D: Man! Why is Erika Andiola’s frustration directed towards President Obama? According to Adrian Carrasquillo, Erika Andiola received deferred action status as an eligible undocumented immigrant because of a summer 2012 Executive Order by the President of the United States.  

M: Dude! Erika Andiola is the victim of the layers of deceit that the status quo has entrenched her into very methodically. In her desperation to save her own mother from deportation, Erika Andiola is suffering from tunnel vision. Her focus is on her own family life and Erika Andiola will go to the brinks for their welfare, as she should. However, we have to keep in mind the neoconservative and conservative flip-flop mechanics that have been employed by Chris Christie in New Jersey during his gubernatorial reelection campaign when he promised immigration reform to secure votes from the Latino community, but right afterwards didn’t deliver on the promises he had made.   

D: Man! You think Erika Andiola is flip-flopping too in desperation to create a state of equilibrium for her family once again? Chris Christie was desperate to win and the Latino communities in New Jersey were desperate for a breakthrough. Likewise, Erika Andiola aligned herself with progressive Congresswoman Kyrsten Simena first to get the DREAM Act passed and Latino voters registered to cast their ballots in the 2012 elections.

M: Dude! Erika Andiola sounds like she’s more fatigued from inaction by the United States Congress despite her personal best efforts to envision and communicate the gospel of gentleness and reprieve that have been embraced by US for generations theoretically. The DREAMers have endured too much and must know that the Pew Research Center has reported the highest deportation figures in their charts and graphs when it is itself a satellite enterprise of Sunoco Inc.

D: Man! Sunoco Inc? That’s the biggest gasoline distributor in the United States!

M: Dude! The largest gasoline distributor in the United States has been rated highly by the environmentalist group Sierra Club.  

D: Man! Sierra Club? That was founded in San Francisco, California while Sunoco Inc originated in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. From sea to shining sea, indeed! You got two distinct environmental models there haven’t you? What else do Sierra and Sunoco share besides being the leaders in their respective fields?

M: Dude! Erika Andiola was awarded a “Freedom from Fear Award” by Public Interest Projects, Inc. and the Associated Press released the story of her brother and mother’s arrests by the ICE shortly after the incident. Public Interest Projects, Inc. is a 501(c)(3) with ties to the Pew Environment Group through its Board of Directors’ John Gilroy who is currently presiding officer at PIP, Inc. 

D: Man! So basically you’re trying to make a case of just how badly entrenched the status quo is in the lives of all Americans. Honestly, I’d rather look at this PIP, Inc. thing optimistically. Not all the members of the organization are necessarily staunch Republicans, no? And besides, maybe PIP, Inc’s a blundering beginning to bipartisanship in research, no?    

M: Dude! No! No! PIP, Inc is an example of how the Republican Party brand has failed US by creating a jaggedly damaged mess of networks where organizations contain saboteurs that are soundly tied to trickle down mentality in charity as well as in the workforce.

D: Man! Name one saboteur!

M: Dude! I will name three! John H. Tanton, Jason L. Riley, and Jan Brewer!

D: Man! John H. Tanton? Isn’t he Kentucky Senator Rand Paul’s role model? I say that because Tanton is a retired ophthalmologist and one of the most celebrated bigots of the twentieth century to have transferred successfully into the new millennium?

M: Dude! Jason L. Riley, who is on The Wall Street Journal Editorial Board, wrote a book entitled Let Them In that began with an introduction to John H. Tanton. According to Riley, Tanton was both an environmentalist and a supporter of Planned Parenthood from the side of the far right that espoused population control through sterilization during the height of the eugenics movement. Even today, the Sierra Club and the Audubon Society are committed to reducing fertility not just at home, but abroad in developing nations. They are essentially promoting an “anti-immigrant sentiment” that Riley insists Reagan would have opposed and that George W. Bush did in fact confront during his time in office.    

D: Man! Jason L. Riley’s book is packed with information intended to promote the Reagan and George W. Bush eras. Tanton also is active in the move to make English the sole language of the United States. But Tanton has a messy network of anti-immigration organizations that he is responsible for starting and continuing to fund. The Southern Poverty Law Center has done many investigations and found that Tanton’s linked with 13 restrictive groups with links to supremacist movements.

M: Dude! You got Jan Brewer too, remember? Apparently, on The Rachel Maddow Show, Erika Andiola disclosed how Jan Brewer had essentially stripped her of a driver’s license shortly after her brother and mother’s arrests.

D: Man! Is Erika Andiola a mouthpiece for Arizona Governor Jan Brewer now?

M: Dude! Maybe, I don’t know. But Jan Brewer’s tactics are quite Republican. Governor Brewer, like the Republicans in the United States Congress, is micromanaging carefully selected newsmakers like Erika Andiola and her mother who are in turmoil and willing to switch political sentiments to the side of the GOP for a pathway to citizenship.

D: Man! The Republican Party is a network of shameless conmen and conwomen!

M: Dude! On the mezzo or “go-between” level of management, you have the American Press and all the other news entities from abroad. And on the macro level of management you have communities in which Erika Andiola and her mother organize together in a flip-flip Chris Christie manner. The bottom line is that only Erika Andiola and her mother, who is also an outspoken organizer in their community, know to which party they belong from one struggle to the next obstacle.

Man! Dude! Session #242 Republicans axing voting rights and female autonomy

(D)ude: Man! Would Dick Cheney have rejected his heart transplant if he had known a Hispanic American had been the donor?

(M)an: Dude! How do you come up with such unfathomable scenarios like that? I think Dick Cheney would be accepting regardless of the ethnicity and race of the donor. 

D: Man! I think the status quo is likely to keep the barriers intact between the donor and the organ recipient. Unfortunately, that’s the same mentality employed by the status quo regarding the middle class and working poor.

M: Dude! I agree with that. The United States Supreme Court has essentially sold the fate of the American Worker to Corporate America and then gone on to degrade the disenfranchised further by axing their voting rights and female autonomy. 

D: Man! They deconstructed female autonomy by severing abortion rights and they deconstructed male autonomy by axing voting rights. The Republican Party chose to divide its brand into neoconservative and conservative groups and conquer the House of Representatives and gain seats in the Senate then. Now they are embracing the Wall Street Journal strategy that Peggy Noonan and Jason L. Riley perfected during the Ronald Reagan and George W. Bush eras.  

M: Dude! Peggy Noonan and Jason L. Riley’s books ought to be studied in order to get an unsettling perspective of how the status quo deliberately brings on very specific distractions to sideline the issue of immigration reform. One cannot assess the conservatives as being simple minded, they are very cunning.

D: Man! Tell me something I don’t already know! The distractions are twofold, either the Republicans engage in warfare in foreign lands and engage our sons and daughters in uniform in conflicts being brought forth by the private sector contractors that have become an unsettlingly more and more unreliable force, or the Republicans engage in what is essentially a newfound mess of government sequesters and shutdowns.

M: Dude! The American people cannot afford to be misled as they have been by the American Media, another forceful private sector entity inside the United States. Speaker John Boehner refuses to bring issues to the table in the House of Representatives and that methodology of killing legislation through deliberate inaction is reprehensible.   

D: Man! And the American Media’s inability to free itself from the clutches of Corporate Mendacity is infecting its level of performance across the board. The standards have dropped in order to create a crudeness that, if left unchecked, can leave people indifferent to the cruel realities that have been preserved for eternity in Victor Hugo’s novels. 

M: Dude! In The Hunchback of Norte Dame, Victor Hugo mourns about how he has to recreate the architectural beauty of buildings no longer standing due to unrest and war, man’s manufactured shortfalls. I sadden whenever I recall that particular passage.       

D: Man! Isn’t that passage at the beginning of the novel? Well, I have the same ongoing heavyheartedness whenever I read Les Miserables, Hugo leaves no tears unshed. 

M: Dude! There will come a time when someone will do similarly for the twentieth century World Trade Center Towers that Hugo did so remarkably for the medieval Palace of Justice.       

D: Man! Did you know that the First Lady accompanied the President of the United States to the National Mall this past Friday to meet with the activists who have been fasting, only hydrating with water, in protest to congressional inaction since November 12, 2013?   

M: Dude! The Congressional Republicans are, through inaction, agreeing with the 1996 immigration enforcement strategies implemented by President Clinton and then-House Speaker Newt Gingrich, which favored the original Immigration and Nationality Act of 1952’s restrictive components specifically.

D: Man! Harry S. Truman was President in 1952 and Dwight D. Eisenhower’s first year in office began in 1953. Do you think Truman thought he would win reelection and continue to polish the nonrestrictive measures in the INA?   

M: Dude! The world would have been far more transparent with Truman than with Eisenhower. Keep in mind that the Republican Party has a very elitist etiquette whenever they win the White House, probably because they are the status quo and there is an undemocratic deferential deference made to them by the American Media.     

D: Man! So the American Media’s never really been able to detach itself from the enchantment it has with the status quo?

M: Dude! No. The American Media has always embraced learned helplessness in the wake of change and revolution. It is combative towards change and revolution.

D: Man! Why do we have to go to the brink of death to become benevolent?

M: Dude! While the American Media is combative towards moving forward, the American Voter must be summoned to combat the status quo by voting for that forward momentum. The American Voters must stand up for their welfare and rights for once and get these dangerous inaction enthusiasts that identify themselves as Congressional Republicans out of office.

D: Man! I wish people in the United States were just as quick to step-up for their Voting Rights and overall Female Autonomy by registering to vote and securing at least a passport and a valid photo ID for the 2014 Midterms. Where are the organizers and organizations that will provide the funds necessary to cover the costs for those who cannot afford to pay for photo IDs?

M: Dude! How do you mobilize entire communities and keep them hopeful throughout the arduous and costly hurdles that the Republican State Legislatures and the United States Supreme Court have imposed?

D: Man! It’s going to be difficult with voter suppression tactics in place in states like John Boehner’s Ohio and David Dewhurst’s Texas. But State Senator Nina Turner in Ohio and State Senator Wendy Davis in Texas are challenging and changing the outlook by running for Ohio’s Secretary of State and Governor of Texas.