Man! Dude! Session #207

(M)an: Dude! What commercial flight are you planning to take?

(D)ude: Man! Huh? Oh! I’m just checking how to get to Benghazi, Libya from Washington, DC. Did you know that there are no stops offered anywhere in Italy for the purposes of traveling to Libya? And, check this out, there’s an airport located directly in Benghazi, Libya!

M: Dude! Republican Representative and Chairman of the House Oversight and Government Reform Committee Darrell Issa left for Italy and Egypt yesterday as a weeklong investigative probe into what happened in Benghazi, Libya on the eleventh anniversary of 9/11.  

D: Man! That’s just it! According to the travel booking websites I’m utilizing, there are stops in Chicago, Illinois and Amman, Jordan; Istanbul, Turkey; Frankfurt, Germany and Cairo, Egypt; London, England and Amman, Jordan again; and Zurich, Switzerland and Istanbul, Turkey once more.

M: Dude! Wow! That’s an exhaustive search for flights to and from Benghazi, Libya that would require stops in Italy and Egypt!

D: Man! Well, as you can tell from the lists, Cairo, Egypt is a legitimate stop if you want to go to Benghazi, Libya. But I am experiencing tremendous confusion in trying to generate the possibility of making a stop in Italy for the purposes of getting to Benghazi, Libya. And I am beginning to question whether Ted Cruz’s eyes seem to have inspired the Dior label to construct the dress Natalie Portman wore to last night’s New York City Ballet Fall Gala?

M: Dude! Dior! Natalie Portman? Haven’t you heard? Apparently, there are forces in fashion like Anna 

Wintour of Vogue Magazine, who carry about that John Galliano should be given yet another round of chances because of his genius, yet Galliano has always fallen to anti-Semitic commentary and that rudeness has actually precipitated into his designer’s vision. 

D: Man! What are you talking about? Is this the incident where John Galliano, upon being given another chance, chose to dress up in a costume version of the male Hasidic dress code?

M: Dude! That too! But the good news is John Galliano is gone two years this fall and Natalie Portman is onboard as the fashion spokes-model for the label, which she discontinued wearing when Galliano seemed to have been forgiven for such horrific behaviors.

D: Man! Did you catch the Emmy Awards? I did not. I looked at the highlights and fashion sentiments online. That’s how I came to discover Natalie Portman’s Dior gown. It was very delicious like turquoise and yellow peeps.

M: Dude! What about the black skirt? It too had to have had that delicate texture equivocal to those spiked stud leather boots and handbags. I can imagine you do not care much for those styles and equivocate the delicate texture of the Dior gown to Ted Cruz’s squinted stares. I also imagine that God inflicts lemony tongue twisters and raw dehydration mayhem on Cruz and Rand, the former’s eyes and the latter’s propensity to down water glass after glass, for all the financial calamities they want US to incur.

D: Man! Representative Issa left the country at a convenient time for himself. His preliminary staff report from the committee, which he chairs, attempts to tear apart the Obamacare Outreach Campaign unsuccessfully. And the other committee members in documents released shortly after the Issa rebuke, very quietly dismissed Issa’s report on account of the flaws therein. Don’t taxpayer dollars go into the construction of bogus reports like Representative Issa’s.

M: Dude! Darrell Issa did not care to allow at least one Democratic colleague of his to accompany him on this questionable mission to Italy and Egypt. According to Ginger Gibson of Politico, an itinerary was released by Issa’s office that identified the other two accomplices attending the weeklong trip. There’s a senior adviser from the Oversight Committee and a congressional military liaison.

D: Man! There are no names to be read in any of the articles and reports on Issa’s weeklong trip. But whether Issa did indeed go to Benghazi, Libya or not would be the question to be answered by Issa upon his return. Democratic Representative Elijah Cummings of Maryland is the Ranking Member on the Oversight Committee and requested that Issa put off his trip until a bipartisan investigative team had been given the chance to form. Given the last minute nature of Issa’s trip, there was not enough time for a Democrat to make arrangements to leave with Issa.

M: Dude! Did you hear about Tammy Duckworth? She’s on the Oversight Committee as well and Issa promised Duckworth that the two of them would also take an investigative excursion to Benghazi, Libya. Apparently, Issa has plans to do this trip itinerary again, probably minus the stops in Italy and Egypt.

D: Man! David Petraeus ought to be questioned and offered up as a spokesperson to go to for the answers in Benghazi, Libya. I think Darrell Issa is playing games with the families of those who lost their lives by rehashing blame onto President Obama and Former Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton, and taking photographs of the absentee Democratic members of the Oversight Committee hearing last Thursday and posting them onto his Twitter Account.  

M: Dude! Issa and the Republicans in Congress cannot stay in their positions of inaction. A week from now, the government shutdown is going to be in effect and Issa has already secured a trip to Italy and Egypt beforehand?

D: Man! Darrell Issa is indeed building up a house of cards to blow in the face of the midterms. He and his fellow Congressional Republicans are builders of partisanship and distress.

M: Dude! Who’s itinerary are you going after you’ve finished off Issa?

D: Man! I believe Issa is dishonoring the four Americans who perished in that attack on our consulate in Benghazi. Not being able to stand by promises made is evil. Issa will disclaim everything upon his return, but let the souls of the Ancient Egyptians keep him from restful night sleep.