Man! Dude! Session #157

(M)an: Dude! Syria is in all-out civil war and Senator John McCain is really out of line and out of touch, whereas he has the gumption to express cold indifference towards mothers of victims of gun violence like Caren Teves of Phoenix, Arizona.

(D)ude: Man! I remember John McCain’s apathetic response! Quote unquote, I can tell you right now you need some straight talk. The assaults weapons ban will not pass the Congress of the United States. Did you know that John McCain’s office only offered a form letter to Teves after her son died in the Aurora, Colorado massacre?

M: Dude! The Republican Party operates exclusively on form letters! And President Clinton is such a backwoodsman that he has shown another edge towards President Obama’s Administration by expressing the same interests in intervening in Syria as John McCain.  

D: Man! What about Hank Crumpton’s pleas for authorization to kill bin Laden that went unanswered under the Clinton Administration’s watch in 1999?

M: Dude! What about Paul Kagame’s Tutsi Rwandese Patriotic Front, or RPF, that was cofounded by Kagame in opposition to the Hutu incumbent government in 1986 when under President Reagan’s watch, Kagame was trained in combat from U.S. Special Forces in Kansas?    

D: Man! The Tutsi and the Hutu suffered as a result of that U.S. intervention in Rwandan politics, into 1990 and 1994, under Presidents George H.W. and Clinton. I wonder what could have happened if Ronald Reagan’s Administration has not prematurely taken sides with the Tutsis, leaving the Hutu and the Tutsis to reconcile without that combat training that Kagame received in the mid-eighties.

M: Dude! Philip Gourevitch’s 1998 classic, We wish to inform you that tomorrow we will be killed with our families must be rereleased with an index inside as well as an update. In the book, Gourevitch brings out an interesting and decisive clue to the underlying mechanisms that created such mass destruction and mass graves: Tutsis were known as cockroaches in Rwanda and not provided the same infrastructural advancements in their small part of the countryside known as Kibuye, despite the country being attributed as having the best roads in central Africa.  

D: Man! Kibuye was not granted the same quality of roads as the other nine of Rwanda’s ten capital cities? What country was involved in the remaking of these roads into modernity?

M: Dude! China in the 1980s provide the road builders, but out of the ten provincial capitals, Kibuye was placed last on the to-do list and right before its turn, the millions of dollars set aside for it’s make-over disappeared, according to Gourevitch.

D: Man! What about those Tutsis who sought shelter in the churches and hospitals?

M: Dude! The clergy and the doctors turned against their Tutsi flocks, the genocidaires really leaving no room for distinction between Hutu and Tutsi communities eventually. Even Kagame’s ascension to the Rwandan presidency is marred with accounts that Kagame also turned sinister upon the vulnerable and the disenfranchised populations of Rwandese, with France perhaps even having had a hand in 

fueling the genocide when they offered assistance through the United Nations.

D: Man! When colonialists get a handle on nations through the process of colonization, like the German and the Belgian in Rwanda, crude discriminatory identification practices are put into place that mark brothers and sisters against brothers and sisters.

M: Dude! That’s so true! Then what should we do about Syria?

D: Man! Do not go with the flow the Republican Party is preemptively trying to enforce upon the Obama Administration! Did you hear how McCain went before the floor of the Senate to tell about President Obama’s coming onto the airways with information concerning Syria shortly thereafter?

M: Dude! I think we need to invest in our own infrastructure and lead by example, not as trumpeters like McCain and the U.S. GOP.

D: Man! The GOP is always creating havoc abroad. Just look how Republican Senator Rand Paul is always meddling with Turkey, and McCain is always intercepting into affairs of Putin and Russia. What’s up with these preemptive braggarts?

M: Dude! President Putin is probably just as tired of the Republican Party as US! It’s a wonderful coincidence that the G8 Summit is just around the corner, giving the evenhanded and humble but strict President Obama an opportunity to speak face-to-face with President Putin alongside Canadian, French, German, Italian, Japanese, Russian, British, and European Union representatives.

D: Man! There ought to be a standardized testing schedule for the House Republicans during the G8 Summit. I seriously think that American children ought to be trained towards mastering the basics outlined on the SATs, not some statewide test creator’s agenda. Isn’t that what private school does anyways?

M: Dude! I think the state standardized testing schedule only applies to public schools. And I think you’re correct about private schools. Does House Speaker John Boehner even know the subtleties in world geography these days?

D: Man! I don’t think Wisconsinite Representative Paul Ryan can talk about world affairs, even with the opportunity to utilize his smart phone, et cetera, et cetera, he would be lost in serious artificial contemplation and abject consternation towards his examiners.

M: Dude! Americans deserve an educated class of representatives, and senators too, that have not just bought themselves redrawn and drawn once more seats in Congress.

D: Man! People seriously think that having a silver spoon to pick your nostrils with is guarantee of anything intellectually as well, had better look no further than dried mucus Mitt Romney!

M: Dude! Did you just choke on that asparagus?