Man! Dude! Session #130

(D)ude: Man! Senator Rand Paul of Kentucky speaks like he’s still a member of the secret society of Baylor University fraternity brothers only identifiable by their crude disguise of plastic glasses and mustaches and huge noses, all of which, as I said, are meant to disguise the membership. They go by the name “NoZe Brotherhood” and even entertain a foul website.  

(M)an: Dude! Let’s focus on someone far more lucid and together upstairs than the ranting Rand Paul! Willie Nelson’s bestseller’s a great read and I think he is the missing link between Washington Republicans and the Obama Administration. The country music legend made me aware of the catastrophic effects of corporate farms on the small family farmers that have dwindled from eight million to less than two million.

D: Man! Why are the small farmers not given the due respect they deserve?

M: Dude! Farm Aid concerts, which Willie Nelson takes part in actively in everyway, have been raising awareness of the dwindling small family farms in the United States. According to Nelson, the rich farmland is replaced by subdivisions and golf courses that over time prove to have been bad ideas.

D: Man! Then why don’t people like US replenish the land for small family farming after the corporate farms prove bad ideas?

M: Dude! There are other places in the world where the governments have tried to return the corporately confiscated small family farms back to the small family farmers but by then the small family farmers don’t want to have to start all over again in the tarring political schemes and scandals.

D: Man! That is terrible!

M: Dude! It is! And, get this, Willie Nelson advocates for gun control much the same way I would advocate for me going out for a run shortly because of the backwind ammo I’ve been releasing all day and just now.

D: Man! It was so pungent, I could have sworn it was mine! You should go out for a run. It was yours, after all! You are the doer!

M: Dude! I will! I will! But let me just reiterate how wonderful Willie Nelson’s latest read is! The book argues that we live in a different time, therefore Nelson himself confesses to what hunters only need in order to satisfy their fix, and I quote: A handgun, a shotgun and a deer rifle are all we need. Period. End of story. Close quote.

D: Man! Willie Nelson actually said that? Wow! The Republicans are having hang-ups about White House Tours being cancelled! I’d love to see Willie Nelson going into the White House to talk with President Obama and House Speaker John Boehner.

M: Dude! That would not be just a great photo op! It would be a rare moment where a common ground could be forged between President Obama and the GOP. I think all the senators who had the sensibleness to join President Obama for dinner this past week ought to get invites as well as John 

Boehner.

D: Man! Awesome! Willie Nelson at the White House! That’s an American moment for which I could 

actually go to the magazine rack at the corner drug store and purchase all or any magazine that had captured the moment on camera.

M: Dude! You’ll probably have to go to the White House and/or Willie Nelson official websites to download the historic images.

D: Man! I’d love to see Willie Nelson on Up With Chris Hayes! I’d also love to see Oscar Joyner and Ari Melber and Ezra Klein get a weekend gig too!

M: Dude! Oscar Joyner is brilliant! Ari Melber is too! And Ezra Klein is as well!

D: Man! They could be the solution to the terrible lineup of repetitive shows like Lockup on MSNBC over the weekends.

M: Dude! You know who else I would like to see get special airtime on the weekends? Joy Reid and Ruth Conniff would be an awesome pairing of brilliance and strength.

D: Man! And this new blend of weekenders could also include a permanent guest like Luke Russert.

M: Dude! That would be weekends to look forward to for sure! Are we ageists?

D: Man! No! We’re just getting done with talking about Willie Nelson!

M: Dude! The country crooner activist is turning 80 on April 30, 2013!

D: Man! Really? I wonder if Willie Nelson is scheduled to make an appearance at Billy Bob’s Texas?

M: Dude! Tickets are going on sale for Willie Nelson’s 4^th of July Picnic at Billie Bob’s Texas! Do you want to go?

D: Man! Is it going to be outdoors?

M: Dude! It’s not going to be at the sight of that Dwight Yoakam gig we saw a few seasons ago. We’ll have to head on out to the North Forty Field just East of the Honky Tonk.

D: Man! Let me think about it! If it is outdoors, that means there will be access to the Honky Tonk all day?

M: Dude! Yeah! It’s going to be the fortieth anniversary of the event itself! That means Willie Nelson was 40-years-old when it began! Hey! I wonder what I’ll be able to accomplish in my middle age?

D: Man! It’s about time you addressed the matter with the backwind ammo! You’ve released too much and I am not going anywhere near a public place with you until you’ve cleared up your messy gastrointestinal mishaps.

M: Dude! Queen Elizabeth was in the hospital for gastrointestinal distress recently. Do you think she was the queen that Kentuckian Senator Rand Paul referred to throughout his filibustering rant?

D: Man! I think he was referring to the Duchess of Cambridge’s pregnancy. There was speculation earlier that the royal heir yet to be born may be a girl.

M: Dude! Rand Paul does have incredible foresight. He disclosed rubbish that could be interpreted as substantial evidence of what the Republicans had in mind if they had won the White House.

D: Man! He was prancing about for close to thirteen hours how he would have employed totalitarian tactics to American Democracy under a Republican president?

M: Dude! Even more reason for US to look forward to electing Democratic candidates to replace such sneaky politicians like Chris Christie and Mitch McConnell who act as if they’re really concerned for constituents when they are not. Governor Chris Christie’s New Jersey is still helpless. Senator Mitch McConnell’s Kentucky is helpless as long as McConnell deliberately stumps all the possible resolutions to the sequestration purposely due to a promise he made to obstruct the Obama Administration on January 20, 2009.

D: Man! Can’t Senator Lindsey Graham reallocate leadership roles in the GOP? Why must Mitch McConnell continue as Senate Minority Leader and Eric Cantor as House Majority Leader? The names of the attendees of that sneaky 2009 meet up can be reprimanded by the likes of Senator Lindsey Graham.

M: Dude! I’m going for a run! These unfathomable Civil Rights abominations are making my stomach churn!